<p>I also have been feeling very sad and out of sorts since last Friday. Thank you to everyone who mentioned doing random acts in memory of those that were lost. Last night my 18 year old son and I went to Toys R Us and bought 20 toys in memory of each child who died. Today I delivered the toys to a local residential children’s home for children who have been severely abused and/or neglected. I know it is a small act, but hopefully it will bring happiness to the lives of the children who don’t have forever families this holiday season.</p>
<p>Its not easy to have an adult committed to psychiatric care in CT. It takes a long time and if the adult fights it even longer. We had thought of doing this with our kid. The mental health system is broken.</p>
<p>I’m leery of putting much credence into reports of the shooter’s motives. There’s been alot of misinformation about the shooter’s family. A few days ago, we were hearing that the mother didn’t talk about her home life to her friends and acquaintances, so how would someone know what she was planning to do with her son.</p>
<p>The CT state police say it will take months before they have a final report and that they won’t be saying anything further about the case until then.</p>
<p>Ann Curry’s Twitter feed has post after post about people doing random acts of kindness. It has really encouraged me. As I watch her on television and read her feed, her kind spirit continues to convince me that the Today Show got rid of the wrong anchor last summer, but that’s a different discussion.</p>
<p>2VU, I have to admit that supporting Curry is a happy side benefit of participating. I think she was treated poorly.</p>
<p>I am glad that this thread is here because it is good to know I am not alone in my emotions about this tragedy. I am not one to show my emotions publicly , but I find myself driving down the road and suddenly , waterworks.
I feel better reading posts here than the pro-gun , anti gun or otherwise inflammatory posts on other websites</p>
<p>Wow. I just read about Vicki Soto’s funeral, and it undid me again. What a true hero she was.</p>
<p>Shellfell, I really hesitated posting that article. It’s just so hard to get my head around this tragedy.</p>
<p>Went to the gym later than normal this evening, thinking the evening news would be over and I could be on the treadmill with something to distract me instead of being forced to wallow in this sorrow again. No sooner did I start the treadmill than 2 of the 4 TVs were showing “Burying the Victims of Sandy Hook” and a discussion on gun control with Bill Reilly. OK, I understand that. There were many funerals today, and a discussion on gun control is truly warranted after this horror. But then the other 2 TVs both started in on “What drove <don’t want=”" to="" type="" his="" name=""> to do it?" And it was just conjecture. Yes, we all want to know the answer to that question but NO ONE KNOWS YET. All the media is doing is throwing around rumors, and people who want to get their name and face on TV are claiming to “know” things. LET THE INVESTIGATORS DO THEIR JOB. It won’t make any difference if we have to wait a couple of months to get the answer to this question. We may never get the answer, but it’s more important to wait for the TRUE answer, or settle for no answer, than to throw around maybes and what-ifs. Too many people believe those “maybes” are true and start trying to design prevention around something that might not have been a cause in the first place. Plus - please STOP showing his name and his picture. It’s just feeding into the next evil person’s desire for notoriety. Let him be known as the Newtown or Sandy Hook or Elementary School shooter. Period. No name, no face, no fame.</don’t></p>
<p>Yes, the media can stop feeding the frenzy and stop giving voice to folks with all kinds of theories. Especially they should NOT publicize the shooter and show his picture or in any way do anything to increase his notoriety.</p>
<p>There are a lot of things broken, which has been known from prior shootings and solutions that would help those could also help for this one. It will NOT be a quick and easy answer–there are a lot of pieces that are needed for a comprehensive solution to the breaks in the fabric of our society that have had so many mass shootings in such a short period of time in 2012. I hope our society can come together to craft good solutions that will do a lot of good and honor these many angels.</p>
<p>I live maybe 40 miles or so from Newtown and have been working in a high school setting this fall. As many others have shared, this tragedy has shaken me to my core. I was particularly touched by the child Noah Pozner, who was killed. He leaves a twin sister behind. As a parent of twins, I cannot imagine how this little girl will be affected for the rest of her life.</p>
<p>I really hope we can allow Newtown some space as a community. Right now, I am asking myself: what are the areas that I am blinded to within my own home? What can I do to strengthen healthy connections and limit negativity? Can I become a kinder person in a permanent way? More personally, as an empty nester, I am not in touch with the local schools, but have I become too detached? What are new ways I can reach out, as well as recognize a need to be on the receiving end of help? Can we accept that we’re in this together?</p>
<p>I was also very affected by Noah Pozner, momof3sons, because his photo was the first shown and he was so beautiful - well, they all were. I dreaded seeing the faces and his was the first one I saw. Losing a twin must be the worst loss of all. Most of us will never experience that special relationship. I feel awful for his sister.</p>
<p>I am somewhat comforted by the devotion of the teachers. Even as they faced the prospect (or the reality) of their own violent deaths, their focus was on the children, on attempts to save their lives or at least to give comfort, reassurance, words of love to make their last moments less terrifying. I know that there are teachers all over the country who are prepared to do the same. This counteracts the dreadful feeling that the country has sunk to a new low.</p>
<p>Beautiful post, psychmom. Thank you.</p>
<p>I wish the press could work out a “press pool” approach to Newtown (like they do with the White House) where only a small number of press are allowed in, but they share everything (interview tape, notes, etc.) with other press organizations.</p>
<p>Someone has made threats against the schools in our county and one other in southern Maine, saying something bad will happen on Friday. So now my bipolar son says he doesn’t want to go to school that day. Sigh. I told him they won’t hold school if they think there’s a real risk. I don’t know whether he’s really scared or just wants to play hookey.</p>
<p>This has certainly been difficult on the kids in Newtown. Every morning, I’m stuck in traffic near the intermediate school that Sandy Hook Elementary school kids go to in 5th and 6th grades. I see the faces of the parents and children in the cars next to me and they are very sad. This is going to affect the area for years to come. My coworker’s daughter was buried today and a lot of the company went to the funeral.</p>
<p>^MaineLonghorn, as I mentioned in an earlier post a kid at my daughter’s school recently made a threat regarding the impending “end of the world” on Friday (i.e., that if the Mayan prediction didn’t come true he would take care of it). The school is trying to reassure families that there is nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, there’s a complication. The kid has the same mental condition the Newtown shooter is alleged to have. So people are making connections they probably shouldn’t, but tensions are high nonetheless.</p>
<p>My daughter says she is not scared, but she is unhappy that the school seems to be minimizing the potential threat because of the kid’s condition. (According to her and others, they are bending over backwards to avoid stigmatizing this child and not holding his actions to the same standard they would if he didn’t have it.) But apparently this kid has been making threats about 12/21/12 for several years, and calls himself the “son of the devil.” </p>
<p>We already have a snow day tomorrow so I might just keep her home on Friday as well. The kids always tell me they “don’t do anything” the last day before winter break anyway.</p>
<p>DocT, I am so sorry for your coworker, for you, and the people in your area. You are right–the community will be affected for a long, long time. All of us will–but not in the visceral way you are experiencing. There really are no words.</p>
<p>To me, a person who makes threats to harm others is crying for help. I hope each person receives the help they need so that they can have their needs met without violence to themselves and others. It is sad when so many decide that violence against innocents is some sort of an answer to some inner conflict or turmoil in themselves and that we as a society have not taken the steps we need to fix the breaks in our society and safety nets.</p>