So ever since elementary school I would always tell my parents I that I would become a doctor, and go to Vanderbilt for college. When I started high school I was introduced to so many new job fields, and colleges. I had grown up just focused on one college and one Job, and to me that was the only thing that existed. I did many internships, met new people, and got to attend many college fairs. It was also during high school I realized that getting into Vanderbilt was no joke, and how rigorous/competitive the school was. I do have 4.0 UW GPA, scored an 34 on the ACT, have a lot of ECs, and took all AP/ IB classes that my school offered. The thing is I don’t fell my school prepared me well for college. The teachers in my school were very easy going, and if you acted well in the class they would give you the few points you needed to hit an A in the class. I even had one teacher give me a 100 on a retake that I knew I should have gotten at least an 85 on. My friends family would praise me on my grades, but deep down I know I didn’t deserve them. Another issue that had come up was when I looked at colleges I found other colleges I knew I would be a better fit at but they weren’t as highly ranked as Vanderbilt. The same went for jobs because I found other fields in science I would like to pursue. When I talked to my parents about my switch in ideas for colleges and jobs they flipped out. They called me lazy, and said I wouldn’t amount to much. They even went as far as grounding me until I changed my mind. I talked to my teachers and counselors about the problem I was facing at home, and all of them contacted my parents to tell them what they were doing wasn’t a good idea, but my parents wouldn’t budge. I did finally give in and told my parents I was in the wrong for choosing to do something else to do in my life so I could get out of my punishment. I feel so much pressure, and feel as though I’m not the one in control of my future anymore. I don’ know what to do anymore.
Your parents sound immature and uninformed. Apply to a wide variety of colleges. Research here on College Confidential in the “College Search and Selection” area those that give large merit scholarships. You have excellent grades. At some universities, you may be able to obtain a large enough scholarship not to need your parents to fund your education (I am talking about the University of Alabama, for example, not Vanderbilt).
In the meantime keep calling on your school counselor for support. Try to keep this in perspective. You will go to college. It might not be what you’ve planned since elementary school - what is? There are many, many adolescents who feel a tremendous burden of pressure at this time - from their parents and the pressure they put on themselves. If you feel depressed, tell your counselor and parents that you need to see an outside counselor or physician for help.
Thanks for you input. My parent are immigrants, and haven’t been in the U.S. for very long. They’re in the mindset that if I don’t go to a big top 20 school that I won’t result to much. Most of their friend’s kids have been accepted to schools like ivies, berkley, and stanford with full rides or huge merit scholarships. They except the same for me, but I’ve assessed myself and know that if I get a scholarship like that I won’t be able to compete with the students there. I really want to go to a school where there is rigor, but will also give me a lot of time to have fun and do lots of internships. I know that not going to a top 20 school doesn’t mean i’m a failure, and I can be successful where ever I go. I just wish my parent saw it that way.
First of all, a 34 ACT is in the top 1% of all test takers–dont sweat the grade inflating teachers. Seems like you have the aptitude to succeed in any college you choose, including Vanderbilt.
First of all, a “full ride” to an Ivy League college is based solely on financial need. In other words, someone with a so-called full ride to Harvard did not get that aid based on grades. The offer of admission is another story. That’s what I am talking about when I say your parents are uninformed. If friend x’s child is going to an Ivy Leage school for free, it’s because the child earned admission but the parents are low income. all of that information is available here, read and educate yourself on the various forums, then you can start showing your parents what you have learned.
P.S. If you go to the Parent Forum and the College Search and Sekection forum and read through lists of older threads, there are a great many posted by people in your exact same situation with lots of responses. About every other day someone describes the same dilemma. The Cafe forum (this one) is not as well read.
I agree with @Snowdog that your parents sound immature and uninformed. The first thing to do here is to step back and realize that you’re in a good position - you have great grades and a high score on the ACT. Even if the teachers at your school are “easy graders”, your 34 on the ACT indicates that you’re smart and have plenty of academic talent. You’ll do fine in college, so don’t worry about that.
Also, you should feel free to pursue any career you want. You don’t have to be a doctor just because you wanted to at some point in your childhood. People grow up and change their career goals based on their new knowledge and experiences. It’s very important that you feel free to pursue whatever you want - you know yourself better than your parents, and you’re in a better position to make career choices for yourself.
So, you’re in a great position and you will do well in college, whatever career path you choose. You do have to come up with some strategy for dealing with your parents right now. I’d recommend that you continue talking to the teachers and counselor at your school, and see if they can help you persuade your parents that it’s totally fine for you to change your career goal. But you don’t need to push it with your parents - I think they will change their views as you grow up. They’re probably acting out of worry for you, but once you go off to college and do fine they should relax more.
Agree that your parents are being ignorant.
Being a doctor takes too much time and energy to not be sure about it. Other professions can save lives too.
Sadly, it’s unclear what you could do to convince them that. If they have a lot of money and can stop you from going to the college you want to go, the only way out is to lie and go “pre-med” but get the degree you want (you can be pre-med with any degree, as long as the college offers the certain necessary courses). Then when you are 21 you can move out and pursue whatever you want.
Kinda off topic but that sounds like Asian parents