I don't like where I go to school...

College Life
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<p>I’m a second semester freshman in a 2+2 program between a community college and University of Illinois’s engineering program. The program is great and the professors and advisors at both colleges are awesome. I just absolutely cannot stand this community college.</p>

<p>I wanted to go to a 4 year university (mainly Purdue) so badly and it was my plan through the first two years of high school. And then things started going downhill with my family and we couldn’t afford to allow me to go away for four years even though I could have gotten in almost any school I wanted. I looked into schools where I could get full tuition scholarships but of course none of them have really good engineering programs. The engineering programs at these other schools looked especially bad when I had this program with University of Illinois as an option since U of I is #1 in the country in my major (civil engineering). Plus I was able to get the presidential scholarship at the community college, so I don’t have to pay anything other than class fees and books. So I didn’t really have an option of where to go.</p>

<p>Now, I’m at this community college just getting through these first two years so that I can get to U of I. As I said earlier, it’s not the professors or classes that I dislike. I cannot stand the people. I hate having to drive an hour both ways every day to school when my friends at universities just wake up 30 minutes before their classes start. And then, starting next year, (I hope I don’t sound like a terrible person) I have to drive to school with both my brother and my sister each day. Neither of my siblings really care about school at all and all three of us have barely anything in common. </p>

<p>The people there just irk me. In this area, it’s kind of expected of you to go to college after high school. Anyone that really doesn’t want to go to college or doesn’t care about school just goes to the community college. So 95% of the people there (at least it seems like it’s that many) just flat out don’t care about what they’re doing. I want to go to school with people that I can connect with. I’m having a tough time meeting people that are like me. I’ve met a few really cool people at school, but not many. I was looking forward to meeting new people, including girls, and that is basically nonexistent so far. Through my first semester and part of my second, I’ve met zero girls. And this isn’t because I’m not putting myself out there, there’s just basically nobody to meet, it feels like. My friends that are at universities tell me about how they can go out all the time and meet tons of people, go to parties, have a good time. And I can’t do any of that here. I’m not talking about having a good time as in drinking, partying, etc. I mean just simply going out and having fun with people. I want to be able to do that but it’s difficult to do that at a community college when you commute to and from school every day. </p>

<p>I’m in harder classes… honors chemistry II, calculus III, honors composition II, and honors physics I. To give an example of how few people there are like me, there was 1 section (less than 30 students) available for my chemistry and physics classes, 3 available for calculus III, and 2 available for my honors english class. People at community colleges just don’t take these classes. So I have basically the same people in most of my classes that I’m taking. And these people are fine, they actually give effort to what they’re doing. It just says something when there are so few people at this school taking classes that I’m taking.</p>

<p>Since there weren’t many sections of each class, I had no choice of how my schedule was put together. Every day but Friday, this semester, I’m at school from either 8 AM or 10 AM to late afternoon or even as late as 7 PM. Fridays are different since I only have one class. And most of the time I’m there, I’m waiting for my next class to start, just sitting around or getting homework done (usually by myself). </p>

<p>And the driving… I know in the future I’ll need to (most likely) commute to and from work every day, but I just don’t want to have to do that in college. I live basically on the edge of the boundaries of my community college’s district, as far as you can possibly get from it and not have to go to a different school. It usually takes me 45 minutes to get to and from school. But since I have to be at school at 8 some days, it takes longer to get there because of rush hour traffic. And that means waking up at 5:30AM, leaving by 6:30AM, and not getting home until usually 7:15-7:30PM. And next year will be even worse… both my brother and sister will be going to school there too. We have to all drive together, so when we leave and get home will be dependent on not only my schedule, but their schedules too. And I know this sounds bad… but it’s a big difference in planning on going to a university and having to go to a community college. It’s an even bigger difference when you have to drive every day to that community college with your brother and sister that you are the exact opposite from.</p>

<p>I’m doing well so far in school. I have a 4.0 through my first semester and I’m doing well this semester, too. It’s just not very motivating to not enjoy going to this school. And I don’t have the option of transferring because of my scholarship and the program that I’m in. It would be foolish to throw away an automatic transfer to the best civil engineering program in the country. I have to stick it out and get through these first two years until I can transfer down to U of I. It just sucks right now and I don’t think it’s going to get any better. </p>

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<p>Is there a question here?</p>

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<p>i thought it was obvious that i’m trying to figure out how to enjoy college more</p>

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<p>Well, first of all you need to stop whining and adjust your attitude of superiority toward your fellow students. Sorry to be harsh but it’s your choice to keep railing against the injustice of your having to attend a cc when you’d much rather have the “go away to college experience”. I do sympathize with your situation but you need to realize that given your family’s financial plight, you are in the best possible situation and in fact, very, very lucky to have an option which will get you where you want to go, while incurring NO costs or debt. Really, there are many students in your situation who have to do what you are doing and work to earn the money to pay for it. In fact, most students in the US have to commute from home to either a cc or a 4 year school because, believe it or not, sleep-away college is a real luxury.</p>

<p>You did have other choices but either you didn’t think that your other options were good enough for you, or they didn’t work out for some other reason. You chose this program. Yes, I’m sure the driving is a pain and you will hate it even more when your (academically inferior) siblings are in the car with you next year. Maybe you don’t read much on CC but in case you don’t, you should understand that there are many students just as capable as you who have to take public transportation or beg rides from other people because their parents can’t provide them with a reliable car to get them to and from school. Do you really think you could be maintaining that 4.0 if you had to deal with the pressure of not knowing how or if you’ll be able to get to school each day?</p>

<p>Look, your situation is what it is and it is what you chose out of all the options available. You have a bit over one more year to do what you are doing now and then you can leave all those dreadful cc people who “irk” you behind and ascend to the University nirvana you crave. Until then, why don’t you try to get off your high horse and look at your fellow students as human beings who have a lot to offer even if they may not be your academic equals. People can tell if you think that they are inferior and they aren’t going to want to bother to be friendly to you if they know you look down your nose at them. They aren’t as stupid as you may think.</p>

<p>I don’t think you sound like a terrible person; just very young and a bit entitled. If you can recognize how fortunate you are and focus on the fact that you are getting closer to your goals every single day you make that drive, you may start to see some value in the experience you are having right now. That’s called maturity.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the response. When I wrote my original post, I was not in a very good mood about non-school-related things and I used this forum as a way to just let everything in my brain out related to school. If I could rewrite it, I would. I realize it sounded a little harsher than I intended and, honestly, a little unrealistic. I’m not looking at the people that I go to school with as inferior. I understand that (most of them) have a plan with school and are working towards something. When I said irk I was specifically talking about the worst of the worst, not the everyday normal people at a cc. I don’t have a problem with 99% of the people at the cc. I’m open to meeting and communicating with basically anyone there. And when I complained about transportation, it’s a pain to anyone to have to commute to school when there are people that simply walk to class. Yes, I’m lucky to have a car to drive and I realize that. Overall I feel bad about what I wrote and it doesn’t really reflect my personality at all. </p>

<p>My mind thinks the way it does is because around 85-90% of my graduating class of well over 1,000 students went away to a 4-year university. I’m hearing all of these things from my friends that are away at school and I can’t help but compare them to the cc. Almost all of the people that I know from school that went to the cc are the ones that do nothing but smoke, drink, and REALLY don’t care about school. I understand not nearly everyone at the cc is like this, but these are the people i KNOW that are there. And I don’t want to hang out with people like that.</p>

<p>Look, my main issue that I’m trying to convey is that I’m having trouble meeting people. That’s the reason I originally decided to come on here and post. I’ve definitely met a few really cool people, but it’s just overall harder to meet people at a cc than at a university, especially when it’s the same people in most of your classes. That’s the main reason I’m not enjoying college so far.</p>

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<p>If I could delete the original post and start over, I would. But I guess there’s no way to…</p>

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<p>I empathize with your commuting woes - I drive an hour to work, so I know how annoying it can be. My best advice is to somehow make it more pleasurable. For me, I’ve found that audiobooks are helpful for filling the time.</p>

<p>But to the big picture. You can identify some positives:</p>

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<p>And some negatives:</p>

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<p>To me, it sounds like you’re in a good situation academically even though your cohort of peers is small, but that you haven’t really made the opportunity to get to know those people well. Some of them may end up transferring with you, so this could be a chance to build a core group of friends that will be a good foundation for when you move to the bigger program. Study groups? Socializing? Casually suggest that a bunch of you get together for lunch or coffee between classes?</p>

<p>Much of your disappointment seems to come from what sociologists call “relative deprivation” - you’re comparing your situation to an imaginary ideal College Life in which people roll out of bed just before class and spend their time Having Parties and Meeting Girls. The fact that you know, intellectually, that this is not the case isn’t helping you cope with it emotionally, however. </p>

<p>What I don’t see in your post is any mention of specific actions you are taking to make the situation more bearable. You may well be doing these but simply didn’t say so. If you’re sitting alone in the Student Center doing homework and ignoring the world, you can’t reasonably expect intelligent and attractive women to flock to your table. :wink: Have you joined any clubs/groups? Since you’re already on campus for so many hours, it might be a good time investment to spend an extra “social” hour there.</p>

<p>Keep your eye on the long term prize but enjoy the journey as well. As the saying goes, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans…</p>

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<p>I try to socialize, it’s just difficult to find time. I have friends, also in the program I’m in, that I’ll get a study room with to socialize or do homework once in awhile. So that’s a plus. But apart from the select few in my program, I just find it hard to meet people. I’ve tried going to clubs (engineering club) but found it wasn’t really fun for me for whatever reason. And of course you’re not going to meet many girls at engineering club. I considered trying to get on the baseball team but I don’t think I would have the time with an engineering course load. </p>

<p>But since I have so much time between classes most days, I want to fill that time socializing with people, even if it means just doing homework together. I mean I do socialize a lot with the people in my program and a couple of people I’ve met in my classes, but it just doesn’t feel significant. I want to meet more people. I’m hoping that will just come with time and opportunities that appear.</p>

<p>Thanks for your response, stradmom. That was definitely helpful. I need to start looking at the positives more and try to turn the negatives into positives.</p>

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<p>Student groups which produce a “product” - the newspaper or theater - tend to provide a natural environment for building a circle of friendships, much more so than something like engineering club, which usually turns into a more professional networking kind of thing. Even if you don’t see yourself as a “writer” or an “actor,” these groups can always use behind the scenes helpers - and they may have a room where you can hang out with people between classes, too!</p>