I don't respect my boss... how to deal?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My boss has been in her position for 20+ years, as the head of a department working for the government. I have been her assistant for about 5 years. I took this job because it was part-time and located near my house. </p>

<p>Our department functions. The stuff that has to get done gets done. We don’t violate government guidelines. But it could be better, more efficient, and provide a better service for our clients. </p>

<p>My boss does things the way she’s done them for 20+ years. New ideas are ignored. She does not go for any training, or belong to any professional associations. We’ve made one major change in the dept in the past 5 years - a new computer system - and only because it was forced on her by her (new) supervisor. She puts in her hours and goes home, yet claims she loves her job and has no interest in retiring (she’s 64). </p>

<p>I feel like I’m doing my job and 3/4 of hers - and I make 1/3 of her salary. Anything in writing of any consequence that has come out of our office in the past 5 years was written by me, although most of it has her name on it. She does not understand how to use our new computer system, and tells everyone: “Oh, talk to Lafalum, she’s the computer person.” She has been out on a medical leave for 4 months, and I managed to keep the department running and do almost everything she’d do (except untangle our financial statements) while working only about 1 extra hour per day. I got no extra pay for this, other than the hourly pay for my extra hours. </p>

<p>She is returning to work on Monday, and I don’t know how I’m going to sit in the small office we share and re-teach her to do her job and use the computer without losing it. I don’t know how much longer I can publicly support her and her decisions - she IS my boss - while privately thinking she’s an idiot who is stuck in the 1970’s. I’ve begun job-hunting, but my family has several trips planned in the next 6 months and I’m not sure how I’d start a new job saying, “I need these 3 days off, and these 4 days, and this week-and-a-half…”</p>

<p>I went to my boss’s supervisor Friday and asked her for a frank assessment of my work while Boss was out. She said I had stepped up to the challenge and done a great job. Her only concern was that I had slightly over-stepped my authority on one issue, but I have since learned to bump those particular issues up the line when they appear. I then asked her if she’d be willing to give me a reference, because I am thinking of leaving. I told her I’m open to staying “if things are going to change,” but that I’m in an awkward position right now. She told me she was not really surprised by my feelings, she understands my position and she would give me a recommendation if asked.</p>

<p>Anyone else work for someone they don’t respect? Have you stuck it out or left? How do you deal with it?</p>

<p>FYI I have ZERO interest in taking my boss’s job. I’m not qualified for it. The problem is, I don’t think she’s qualified for it either. She does not have any college degree, let alone any formal training in the area we deal with. If she were to be replaced, I have no doubt they’d look for someone with a graduate degree in our area.</p>

2

<p>Your boss’s boss didn’t seem to offer veiled hints to you that “things were going to change” when you gave her the opening, did she…that probably means that the higher level bosses can’t blast your boss out of her position, entice her to retire soon, or promote her out of her current position. </p>

<p>My guess is that if you left, your boss would suddenly decide that 65 is a great time to retire.</p>

<p>How easy would it be to find a new job in this climate? Your boss really is close to retirement age. Plus with her recent health issues, she may have been thinking more seriously about retiring, so that she can have fun in retirement while her health is still good.</p>

3

<p>I’d try to wait it out. When you say you aren’t qualified for her job…you’ve been DOING her job for 4 months, so how can you not be qualified? Are you saying that you do not have the credentials normally needed to be promoted to the job if she left? Is there any leeway? Would you WANT her job if she retired?</p>

4

<p>I would wait and see. She has had 4 months off and sometimes that can change one’s perpective. She may have actuallyhad a chance to reflect and think about things. She may discover that once she is back, that she really isn’t into it anymore and consider retiring. Hang tight, see what happens.</p>

5

<p>I know people who are sticking it out until a certain age so that they can collect a bigger pension than if they retired right away, and it seems that your boss may be doing this. If I remember correctly, the magic age is 22 years in the job.</p>

<p>You’ve been doing her job for quite a while: 2/3 for a long time, and all of it while she was on sick leave. So you’re qualified by virtue of experience. My question would be: If the job does open up, would there be an internal promotion–which would make you the inside candidate–, or would the job have to be openly advertised, in which case, you would be competing against people who might have equal or better paper qualifications (I’m only surmising) and possibly political support. </p>

<p>It looks like your boss’ superior knows the situation but is not willing to do anything to improve it for you or for the sake of greater efficiency. </p>

<p>In the immediate, I would welcome the boss back, and show her how things have been done while she was away. You will have to teach her new skills; and her inability to master them may push her to move her retirement date earlier.</p>

6

<p>During the last 2 months of Boss’s absence (she was gone 4 months), a consultant was hired to come in 2 days per week and “oversee” the dept. In reality, she observed and wrote up a report that she gave to the bigwigs before she left last week. She told them the dept functions, but it has potential to do much more and much better. They told her they knew that and they were going to “hold boss’s feet to the fire” to make some changes. </p>

<p>I guess a big part of the problem is that I also find boss’s personality irritating, and we work in close quarters, sharing a small office. I need to be more patient and tolerant, but it’s going to be a challenge.</p>

<p>And to re-emphasize:

</p>

7

<p>Lafalum, just sit tight for the time being until your short-term travel is over with. Then, start to look around. By that time, the economy will be in tip-top shape (one can hope), and finding a new job with your experience shouldn’t be too tough.</p>

<p>I have worked for bosses whom I didn’t respect, and it causes tremendous stress. </p>

<p>Just sit tight until the time is right to do something about it. Let things roll off your back in the meantime. Just do the job you are being paid to do, and get out when you’re able to.</p>

8

<p>I’ve had the good fortune to have several really bad bosses. I say fortunate because it led me to a very good place. I learned that you can’t change a bad boss (despite what “experts” say). What you can do is set your own agenda. Yes the woman is the Boss … but the person running your life is you. Things won’t get better until you decide they’re going to be better.</p>

<p>Hey, how much trouble can you get into? Your Boss’ Boss knows you’re unhappy, and also knows your Boss is so limited that even a four-month absence doesn’t affect departmental functioning! Good luck with this.</p>

9

<p>I think she’ll leave. My sister was in a similar position to you and retired early because of an unbearable boss. The boss didn’t last two more months.</p>

<p>I think I read once that people are more likely to leave a job when they come back from vacation or medical leave than any other time. </p>

<p>Maybe make a deal with yourself to stick it out 6 more months so you can get the family trips out the way, then do some serious job hunting if things aren’t better?</p>

10

<p>Thanks for the support. I hope she’ll leave, but I really doubt it. She’s divorced, with a son in his 40’s with major health problems (physical and mental) who lives with her because he can’t hold a job and SS has denied all his disability claims. She says she can’t afford to retire and I believe her. She considers the office her “home” and the staff her “family.” And she has several major health issues herself, hence the 4 month medical absence. </p>

<p>I have a few job-hunting websites that send me openings, I’ll continue to check those out while doing my best to grin-and-bear-it. If she does leave, I’d like to be part of the improvement process that would hopefully come with her successor.</p>