I don't wanna go to college, I want to run away

<pre><code> Get good grades, do sports, join clubs, ace the SAT, get good letters of recs...I've always been told that if I do these things, then I will have a good life. I would get into college, graduate, and then have a career that I love.

But lately, I haven't been loving life.

I think I feel frustrated inside. My dad tells me that I should join the military so that I can get a free education plus good benefits and competitive pay. My mom tells me that I can pay off my loans quickly when I land a good job after college. I think it would be important to note that they are divorced and married other people.

Me? I don't know who to believe. I just want to run away.

Going to college would be nice, but even with the scholarships colleges offered me, I am still hesitant because my dad keeps telling me that I will be working my whole life to pay off the loan. Also, my mom and step dad both really want me to go to med-school, and become a doctor, so I applied to all these schools, which ranked highly in medical education, and got accepted.
I suppose that I have enough cause to want becoming a doctor. My family was poor and could not receive the essential medical procedures during my birth, which was a miracle according to the doctor and nurses, so if I do choose the medical route, I plan to commit myself to rural medicine.

However, it is all so daunting. I am sure that medical school requires its students to be strong in the maths and sciences. In addition to that, it also costs a lot to attend medical school.

My fears, though, come at an earlier point; I am deathly scared of post-secondary life.

Even if I miraculously do get a full-ride or get accepted into a dream school, will I even be able to maintain excellence? What if I burn-out, and waste time and money? I just have so much fears.

I know that college admissions try to select the students who will best excel in their school. However, I don't trust their judgement. I should know myself best, and I think that I am not ready for any post-secondary education.

Yeah, numbers may say otherwise as my GPA, SAT scores, and classes may indicate, but I just don't want to face anymore challenges. I tried some college classes, and enjoyed them thoroughly. However, that class was sociology and there was a lot of debate, Socratic dialogue, and philosophy involved. I am so afraid of accepting that I love it because it just doesn't add up.

I am supposed to be a science kinda guy. Yes, I got lots of scientific awards etc., but whenever I tell my parents that I am making progress with my book or let them read, their enthusiasm fades. They only get really excited when I tell them about accomplishments in the maths or sciences, which are interesting but not really gripping for me.

Ah, I deviated from the initial subject of this post; I digress. I suppose that I'm really just clueless as my writing clearly expresses.

Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. In a sense, my life is in your hands now.
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<p>Will you have to take out loans? Have you looked at colleges that meet full need or offer substantial merit scholarships? Are you eligible for need-based aid? Have you used any net price calculators?</p>

<p>Because running away will make your life so much better. Man up.</p>

<p>You could take a gap year and do something you enjoy. Most schools will let you postpone your enrollment (for a year or two) so you don’t have to reapply. The gap year might get the running away phase out of your system and give you a much needed break. Explore your interests and find out what you want to do, then return to school with fresh enthusiasm.</p>

<p>Well what do YOU want to do? All you said is what your family expects. Do what you want to.</p>

<p>You sound like you have heaps of potential and you genuinely enjoy learning but all of that will go to sh*t if you just don’t go for it because you’re scared. It’s not like this is the last chance ever to improve your life, or screw up your life. You can change majors, you can take a gap year, you can go to community college first, etc.</p>

<p>Put yourself first instead of your parents’ wishes first, because eventually, they may not be around anymore and you may be stuck in a career that you don’t enjoy as much as another career, and it’s a waste of life. Listening to people’s advice is fine, but don’t put your life in anybody else’s hands but yours :/</p>