Let me start this off with some contextualization. I come from a heavily conservative Indian family, which means that while growing up, my parents have constantly been telling me that I need to study either medicine or engineering. From the moment I hit middle school, I faced a constant bombardment of IIT-JEE prep courses and general railroading towards the engineering world, especially as both of my parents are computer engineers. The catch? I’ve never been even remotely interested in medicine or engineering. From a young age, I’ve excelled at debate, which honed my research skills, analytical thinking, and policy exposure. I’ve always known that I wanted to do something along those lines, but growing up in South India, that was always out of the question.
After my sophomore year of high school, we moved to the US, and boy did it hit me like a breath of fresh air. I was introduced to a land of endless possibilities, and families that were supportive of their children no matter what field of study they entered. I was enamored, and began to think that maybe I may have a chance to study what I wanted. So one day my junior year I summoned enough courage and told my parents I wanted to study government, with a focus on environmental policy.
I was ridiculed and branded delusional for even bringing up such ideas. Liberal arts are for white kids, they said. What’s this about you not liking math? That’s not acceptable. Stop debating and focus on your studies.
When I began applying to college, I had the chance to apply to some very prestigious universities. My grades were great, I’d gotten 5s on all my liberal arts AP tests (think APUSH, AP Gov, AP Lang etc), and I had the extracurriculars to back me up. The moment I brought my idea to my father though, I was immediately shot down. “If you want to study government, pay for it yourself,” I was told. Things got to a head when he refused to pay my application fee unless I applied as a prospective mechanical engineering student. At the time, I was financially dependent on my parents for everything, and had little sense of independence. I put my head down, allowed myself to be bullied into submission, and said okay. Maybe engineering wouldn’t be so bad, I told myself. Maybe I could study environmental engineering, and it would somewhat align with the goals I had envisaged for myself.
My first year of college has been miserable. I managed to BS my way into a top engineering college on the East Coast, and I am struggling like I never have before. My grades have tanked because I am way out of my depth. Competing against kids who have studied multivariable calculus since the tenth grade and who are there because they want to be is both incredibly challenging and incredibly demoralizing. I feel like a fraud, and like there’s nothing I can do in my situation.
To make matters worse, my university is divided into individual colleges. To feasibly transfer into my university’s College of Arts and Sciences (to study gov), I’d have to submit a formal transfer request, for which I have nowhere near the required GPA. My grades are in the dirt, and I’ve been placed on academic probation because I’m just not able to keep up academically. I’m lost, demotivated, and in a rut.
I can’t bring this up to my parents, because when I do, they give me the same stock responses, every time. “Engineering is hard for everyone. This nonsense about government is just an escapist fantasy.” “You’re an arrogant, ungrateful child who can’t appreciate the sacrifices we’ve made for you.” “If you’re too stupid for engineering, there are always minimum wage jobs looking to hire.” I cannot tell them that I have been depressed for the past three years, that I am absolutely miserable watching my friends live out their dreams elsewhere, that I feel guilty because maybe I am being ungrateful and throwing away a shot others would kill to have. But I don’t know what else to do.
I really want to study government, and I really want to work in the public sector dealing with environmental policy in the future. I’m not a bad student, either. I had straight As in high school, and got really high grades in my writing and singular environmental policy class in college. I’m passionate about the environment, about political theory and analysis, and about civic engagement. I’ve recently been looking at withdrawing from the College of Engineering and reapplying to my university’s College of Arts and Sciences, but I’m terrified that my low GPA disqualifies me from consideration. I’ve been looking at external academic forgiveness program at other universities, but I’m afraid my parents will cut me off financially and I won’t be able to afford college anymore.
I’m terrified, you guys. What do I do?
Tl;dr - I want to study government but my parents have pushed me into engineering. Now I’m flunking college and I have no clue what to do. Please help
I still hope you can study government. Any chance your family would be happy with law school in the future? You could argue that government would be a good prep for that.