I was the President of my class, was taking 3 AP classes, and was a member of several extra curricular activities. I just couldn’t do it anymore, it was too stressful for me. This is the first year that I have struggled so much. I never had an avg % below 98 in any of my hnrs classes from my first 2 years. I don’t understand why this happened. It happened so quick. And now I’m out of high school and my inbox is flooded with messages from my friends and officers from student council asking me if I’m alright. Instead of individually messaging every single one of them, I will probably make a post on facebook. I never struggled with school before and always had high ambitions for myself. I don’t know why this school year has been so rough on me. I do all the studying and show up to every test more than well prepared. At the time I dropped out, I had a 82% in AP Bio, 88% in AP History (I passed the hnrs version last year with 100% avg and had perfect score on finals), 96% in AP Language Comp, 93% trig hnrs, 87% precalc accelerated, 76% SP III hnrs. The sad thing is that I prepared myself for this schedule all summer long. My mom bought me practice books for my ap classes and even got me an Sat book. I began having doubts about my intelligence so I invested much of my time during summer towards becoming more mentally conditioned. I did meditation twice a day and I even started muay thai classes. But the stress was too much for me, and experiencing score results I don’t ever recall getting before was unbearable, so I went down to guidance and told him that I was going to drop out. We had a 90 minute discussion and he also brought some other staff from the office into the room to try and get me to think about this decision. I got dismissed from school and I was supposed to think it over with my mom. I ended up missing 18 consecutive days of school. Things weren’t looking bright. My mom was getting sick and tired of the mail and phone calls so we scheduled the dropout meeting and we agreed to here some of their proposals. They said they would give me 2 weeks to make up all the work, including for my ap classes, and even offered to stricken the 18 absences from my attendance record. By the way, I did have a note from my doctor and counselor about my anxiety issues. I didn’t take them up on their offer though. I just couldn’t go back. I don’t feel smart enough. It’s simply not fair. I have always been extremely motivated and have gone above and beyond the expectations. Apparently motivation alone wasn’t enough to help me reach my dreams in life. I have never been more depressed in my entire life than I am now. My doctor had me meet a psychiatrist and I have been gradually put on to 50 mg of Zoloft. That dose will be 100 mg by December. All I really do is lie down all day and read about the world of politics. It was always been an interest of mine, and it has sort of become a refuge for me while I’ve been out of school. For some strange reason, I suddenly find watching the democrat and republican presidential debates to be really entertaining. But that is besides the point. I don’t know what to do anymore. And I apologize for the sloppy writing of this and odd transitions between different tenses, I guess that is what happens when you are ambivalent, depressed, and out of school for a month. Not even sure why I made this post here, just to kind of share my story I guess. I don’t know. But if you are interested, you can look at the threads I’ve made on college confidential late summer right before the start of the school year. I guess that will give you a better idea about where I’m coming from. And I realize that I sort of went off in a tangent throughout this thread, but that’s because these are my thoughts as I’m thinking them.
I am sorry to hear that, but I really think that you should consider getting back into school. You may not realize it, but what you are doing right now could ruin your whole life. Dropping about because of a few B’s and a C is…well, stupid. I don’t mean to sound rude, but the harsh reality is that there are barely any good job options without your high school diploma. With that being said, there are barely any good job options WITH your high school diploma. In these times, you need to go back to school and then go to college.
If you can’t go back, at least take the GED.
This post makes my heart hurt so much. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I have anxiety issues too, OCD, and this school year has been pretty tough for me too, but it sounds like nothing compared to what you’ve been through. I found my self freaking out, sobbing during tests when normally I’m perfectly relaxed.
I don’t know if I have much new advice from what you’ve already heard, but I’m going to say it anyways. It’s a great step that you went to see a psychiatrist. Medications really can help. I’m awful without mine, or on the wrong one. Have you started seeing someone for therapy? If not, you really do need to at this point. They will help you work through your anxieties and help you figure out what to do about your education. Not to be mean, be most people on here are no where near qualified to do that. You really do need to see a professional for this.
I hope you start to feel better soon! If you need anything, feel free to PM me <3
You’ve simply had a nervous breakdown, and it will take some time to get through this, but understand that this is just a temporary phase. You will return to your high-achieving self before long, only with a better understanding of where to draw the line. It may not seem so on the surface, but a lot of high-achieving high school students like you are hanging on by a thread, facing high anxiety and struggling to meet expectations and school requirements.
It is unfortunate that the students who take on the most demanding schedules with AP classes do not even get a true summer break, but instead are loaded up with AP homework for the coming school year. I think that contributes to the burnout by Junior year.
Be kind to yourself. This is not at all a reflection of your abilities or character – you simply need a break, and your body and mind are forcing you to take the break. Please realize this is temporary. When you get through this, you will have developed resilience, and be much stronger for the future, knowing that you are capable of coming through something so difficult and public. You will also know your limits better and how much to push or not push yourself.
Once you have taken your needed break, you will have plenty of options for finishing high school and getting your diploma, or pursuing a GED if you prefer. Those options can include online classes through your school district or state if they are available, or homeschooling, or re-enrolling where you were or at another high school if that is more comfortable for you.
You are still the same extremely bright and intelligent person you have always been. This is a temporary setback and you will bounce back. It’s good you are showing an interest in something – politics – while this is ongoing. It would be worse to hear that nothing interests you anymore. Use your break from the normal responsibilities to explore existing or new interests.
Also know that when you do return to school, you don’t have to do it all – there is no requirement that you take on a large number of extracurricular activities, time-consuming leadership responsibilities, or the most challenging courses. While those things can help people gain admission to the top level colleges, you can get into most colleges with regular classes, a B average and no leadership positions.
Do not judge yourself harshly for going through this. It can happen to anyone, at any stage in life, and it is not a reflection on you as a person or your abilities to achieve. You may find that you develop new goals for yourself through all of this and change course, but you will still have the ability to pursue dreams and reach them.
Go back to school with help. You will need that diploma.
Depending on your school district, you can finish high school through the Home School office in your district.
They give you an assignment, and you finish it at your pace. So you could sleep in and do an assignment whenever you’re up to it.
There are all kinds of students who need this option for school in order to finish their diploma requirements.
(Medically fragile, nervous breakdowns, pregnant, drug rehab, etc). You still get to graduate with your class, as long as you do the assignments.
There is a teacher, who visits you often, to make sure you understand the assignment and provides feedback or any help you need. He/she works with your parents for questions about credits and graduation.
Have your parents contact your school district. But go back to school.
You’re having a nervous breakdown due to the pressure. Call the school and explain that - that you’re having a nervous breakdown, are seeing a psychiatrist, and may be able to resume schooling through Home School teachers/specialists in January thanks to counselling and medication, but won’t likely be able to return to school until you’re okay. You could decide you’re starting over 11th grade in January, and will graduate December 2017, then have a semester “off”, working, to ensure no burn out before college.
By the way, there are lots of excellent colleges that would take you with the grades you had, and you could have basically any career. Yup, if your dream was to be a doctor, that’s still in the cards. 
CS? Yup, that too. Engineer? Sure. Any career is still open.
If you feel up to read, buy the books Colleges that change lives, as well as Bruni’s _Where you go is not who you’ll be _
If you like watching the debates, start reading the press and look for contrasting points of view: WSJ and NYT, for example, can both be read once a day (suscribe to the learning Network from the NYT, as you’ll get a once-a-week newsletter with links to articles of interest that bypass the monthly limit). Go to the library once a week and look at the magazines - Mother Jones, The Atlantic, Washington Monthly, whatever strikes your fancy. Read whatever you want, the goal is for you to find stuff you like.
There’s a presidential campaign about to start: see if you can volunteer for a local branch of a party.
Learn a skill - cooking, or fixing bikes.
Go to Community Education classes, where no one has grades and all people are there because learning is a fun way to pass the time (expect some retirees :p).
Wow, you’re obviously a really smart person. And someone who must be a good person, who has your mom and many friends and staff who care about how things work out for you. Many times, these things are chemical too… so maybe the increased dosages and talking will be the answer for you. I really like tracking other things like politics too – but you’ll find it gets old, too. As folks above have said, us looking back recognize (even if it’s not fair) that getting the credential of diploma matters. And, I’m willing to bet with your drive and intelligence, you’ll be getting that college degree as well! So, I hope you seriously look into taking classes again in the Spring on your way back. Take care.
Home schooling. Newspapers and Sanders v Trump will get old quickly!
See what resources the school offers for when you are ready to start again. You’d be surprised how different it will be!
Hey… What you said in this post really resonated with me a lot. And I can say I really know how you feel. My last year of high school I couldn’t keep going on because my anxiety and depression really got to me so I dropped out too. At that point everything in my life seemed to be hopeless… and honestly being a high school drop out made me feel worse.
It’s been two years now and I was constantly trying to find myself and in the end I knew that going back to school is the best thing to do. It’s hard but it’s the best option. I got my GED and SAT and now I’m hoping to apply to community college or a decent University. Anyways, this is really cliche advice but honestly, take it easy. From what I read you’re a really smart student… Trust me a few B’s and C’s aren’t the end of the world. You were totally not giving yourself the credit you deserve. But then again, coming from experience I know it’s just your depression messing with your head.
Please don’t give up. Go back to school. You can achieve so much just trust yourself. Kick depression in the butt and go for it.
I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this! I absolutely hate school, for no particular reasons beside the stress and noise. I had to take a two-week break as a freshman, while I was transferring schools, because of bullying. I’m not being bullied now, but I still have a terrible time at school. So, I do understand how you feel. But, I push myself to go everyday, because I know it WILL be worth it. We’re lucky to have opportunities to go to school, free education is rare in many countries.
I know it’s very hard, but I’d recommend going back. I can honestly can I don’t know one dropout who’s living their life to the fullest. Dropping out of high school
in the US is basically economic suicide, since even entry-level jobs are starting to require a diploma/GED. Even with a high school diploma, there aren’t many job opportunities where one can develop and expand.
If public school really is too much for you, consider homeschooling or online school. You sound like a very intelligent student. You don’t have to join more ECs or take more APs than you can handle. Please go back to school, don’t let this tough time possibly ruin your entire life. I know you can do it!
What state are you in, @Cleveland33? You might want to spend the remainder of the year homeschooling. Regulations differ by state, so make sure your parents look up your state’s homeschool laws. Some require your parents to submit a Letter of Intent, teach certain subjects (but not particular courses), and file quarterly report cards. I homeschooled my children all the way through school. My son finished last year, got a Letter of Completion from our district, and used it (as proof of high school completion) and his SAT scores to apply to college.
Your state department of education probably has an online option for schooling. Sign up for that. Choose the minimum course load that you need to get your degree. Good luck.
IrrationalPepsi, it didn’t seem to be just the grades, OP said he/she had diagnosed anxiety. The lower grades were probably just a symptom of the problem.
@Cleveland33 I agree with the other people on this thread- online school is a great option at this point, at least until you get the anxiety under control.
Once you have your anxiety under control, get your GED or complete your HS credits online and/or through homeschooling. Then enroll in community college or a state U if you can, and take it from there. I know a girl who dropped out for different reasons and scored well enough on the ACT to get into the state flagship with that and her GED. She’s a college sophomore now and doing very well. Don’t give up!
The first thing I was going to say is get the mental health taken care of… I am glad you are seeing a doctor.
The next thing I would do is to figure how to get your HS diploma. No matter your next step, you will need that. Now is the easiest way to do it. See if the school can do Home-based school for you so you can finish.
Don’t worry about AP tests. Don’t worry about college right now. But finish HS if possible.
You seem like a smart and very motivated person, with very high standards for yourself. Ok, you know it got to be too much this year (President and all the rest). And, you have lots of people who obviously care about you. All good things!
[just deleted my other mild suggestions here, as this seems to be an old post – saw some more recent things you wrote a sec ago]
Take care!