<p>So in November, my grandfather died. That was so-so, because I wasn’t super close with him, but it was still sad.</p>
<p>Earlier this week, my great-grandfather died, which was a little sadder because I was closer with him.</p>
<p>Now my grandmother is on her way to the hospital. I’ve lost my great-grandma, my great-grandpa, and my grandpa all in the last year and a half and I’m having a really hard time coping…I cannot take another death right now. 
Any advice?</p>
<p>Can’t give you an advice, but a “hang in there” from me. Death of grandparents is usually pretty tough, no matter how the timing falls. The best you can do is to focus on what they accomplished in their lives, what things they had to overcome, and what impact they had on you. Cherish their memories…</p>
<p>I’m sorry for all your recent losses… but you have to take comfort in that you’ve had so many older relatives in your life. I knew all my grandparents, and was very close to my dad’s parents, but never had any “greats” – my own parents barely knew their grandparents, if at all. I first “lost” a grandma at 14 – when she succumbed to Alzheimers. Unfortunately, she didn’t die until I was 24. But she had long been lost to the family. I then had many happy years with the other 3… all were at my wedding along with my husband’s maternal grandma. Then I lost a grandpa when I was 33, a grandpa at 39… and finally my grandma at 42. She was the “grand” I had always been closest to, and that one hit me the hardest. Recently my dad found a slide of her holding me on my 2nd or 3rd bd… he enlarged it to a 5x7 print and I framed it, setting it on the mantle in the living room. When I look at that photo, I really do feel her faith in me. And I am not a spiritual or religious person. But I know that she believed I could make it through anything.<br>
As for my kids… my f-i-l died when they were 6 & 9. The younger really doesn’t remember him at all… the older, just a little. In the next few years they lost the “greats”: my husband’s g-ma & step-g-ma; my 2 grandfathers and 1 grandmother.
But how wonderful was it that they knew their great grandparents??? And the same for you! So many people go through life not really knowing grandparents at all… and you’ve had the grands & the greats! And the memories that go with them.
Obviously, my kids (who are now 17 & 20) have only sketchy memories of the “greats”… but they have them. And luckily they have my parents and my m-i-l now.<br>
Remember that for as long as your grandparents were a part of your life, you were the most joyous part of theirs!</p>
<p>I’m so sorry for all you’re are going through, and I hope your grandmother is OK. Please find someone to talk to who can help you through this- a parent, friend, or someone from your school or church. You don’t have to handle it alone. Keep us posted; we’re thinking about you.</p>
<p>Sometimes it helps to keep a journal- happy memories, vent whatever is making you sad, things you want to remember about your grandparents and other relatives.</p>
<p>My kids don’t remember my Dad, who loved them ferociously. They do remember my Mom who also loved them but was unable to remember their names for the last ten years of her life. I have been working on memory quilts for the kids for the past 14 years. Hope to finish them sometime. Luckily, I wrote a list of what I wanted them to remember about my folks, so I know what the quilt squares mean…</p>
<p>My advice: Hang on close to your parents and let them hang onto you. Your whole family must be reeling.
Go through the old photographs and retell the stories that go with them. It can be really hard, yet it helped us to honor their personalities and the love that they had given to us. If there are younger kids affected, have them look at photos of the grandparent with them. The younger kids can have a problem figuring out what they are feeling and how to express it.
You’re in my thoughts. This is a tough time you are going through.</p>
<p>The only way to get through it is to remember to put one foot in front of the other, every day, and don’t stop. Don’t worry about what you have to do the rest of the week (you’ll just get overwhelmed) or even for the rest of the day, just worry about what has to be done right this minute, and divide it up into small tasks. Make lists, cross things off lists… Show yourself that you’re making headway in continuing on with your life.</p>
<p>The loss of loved ones is terrible, and you might feel like you’re never going to get over it, but know that it gets a little less terrible every step you take along the path of your own life.</p>
<p>Really, really be kind to yourself. Take a knee if you need to.</p>
<p>As awful as it is when bad stuff like this gangs up on you all at once, remember that eventually, things will ease up.</p>
<p>Hugs, and good luck…</p>
<p>Thanks, guys. 
I’m doing better today (it always seems better when I go to school and get lots of hugs and sympathy from my friends), I just hope it eases up before I go off to college this fall.</p>
<p>HGFM,
When you are off in your wonderful college, do your best and make them proud.</p>
<p>Okay, HUGE upper to my day. :)</p>
<p>I was nominated by my school for the Milken Family Foundation scholarship. However, I got really sick last week and totally forgot to mail some stuff on the day it was due. I was really bummed and thought I was automatically out of the running and didn’t think anything else of it.</p>
<p>About a half hour ago, I get a phonecall from someone with MFF saying that if I send it right away, they’ll accept it! Then he gives me a fax number and tells me, “So get that on the way and WE’LL PUT YOU THROUGH TO THE NEXT ROUND!”</p>
<p>I’m so stoked…I think I got put over the top by one of the teachers at my school who wrote me a rec, because MFF gave him a huge award in '03. OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE IT…maybe I’m reading too much into it, but they wouldn’t call me if they weren’t considering me, right?</p>
<p>HGFM, having read your posts for about 6 months now, you always strike me as the kind of person everyone wants to see succeed. You have so much heart and compassion and you need to be out in the world sharing your gifts. This scholarship is probably a way that your faculty member knows will help make that happen. Give it your best. </p>
<p>My condolences about your losses this year. Your grandparents and great-grandfather lived long enough to see you become an outstanding young adult. Their friends probably knew every detail of your successes. You gave (give) them so much just by being yourself. </p>
<p>Take care, and keep us informed about this scholarship!</p>
<p>Thank you so much! That was very uplifting to read. I’ll definitely keep you updated. If I do get it, it’s $2,000 a year (I won’t have to renew it) for four years, plus $1,000 upon graduation. I could definitely use it!</p>