<p>I found a job working at my college library this summer. They have a big shortage of people. It’s nothing great but I’ll have alot of free-time to read good books. I’m going to do those things you guys suggested when I apply for a better job next summer.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing your story wolfpiper. I had to go through the required speech classes in grade school too. They made it so it was a part of the special students program and it ended up being just embarassing and unhelpful.</p>
<p>As a parent of fraternal twins, I tried hard to remove the comparisons. They are different kids with different interests, strengths and weaknesses. It was really hard to make sure that people didn’t treat them as a unit. </p>
<p>At one point, one of the girls was excelling at just about everything she touched. Her sister was having a tougher time. She would hold her hand up to everyone’s face and say, “Smell the chopped liver. That’s all I am”. We ended up calling it “chopped liver syndrome”. That’s when one sibling - doesn’t have to be a twin - just can’t seem to match up. Thank goodness it’s cyclical and everyone has strengths. You just have to let yours show.</p>
<p>“I found a job working at my college library this summer. They have a big shortage of people. It’s nothing great but I’ll have alot of free-time to read good books.”</p>
<p>Congratulations!</p>
<p>I loved working in my college libraries when I was an undergrad. I got to read lots of books and meet other students who liked reading. I was very shy, and that was a comfortable way to meet people.</p>
<p>Why don’t you enroll in American Sign Language courses this summer? When you have completed the program you can use your newly acquired skills to work with children who cannot speak at all.</p>
<p>I grew up with a brother who was the equivalent to a Sun God. My parents always held him up as the example of everything wonderful about humanity. Teachers adored him. Everyone told him how special he was.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I was a dickens and in all sorts of minor trouble at school. I sort of turned myself around during university–partly by taking control of my life–taking the ocntrol away from my parents who were grossly underestimating me. I became a very happy, very successful professional–with an amazing husband.</p>
<p>My brother continued to dazzle–until the age of 40 when he came unglued and his life turned to custard. In hindsight, no one did him any favors by telling him he was so very special. His downfall and the hinderance to his recovery has been his grandiose ideas about himself. </p>
<p>Couldn’t have predicted his fall when I was your age X. I just got used to being in his shadow–in my parent’s eyes.</p>
<p>Your story is just beginning. Forget about your twin and dream about the possiblities in your life–and then find a way to make those dreams come true. Come back and get some advice about that topic if you want.</p>
<p>NSM,
I should have been more specific; I wasn’t talking about your posts but about the poster who said medication might help with a speech impediment, which is just “huh?” to me.</p>
<p>To elaborate on speech therapy:
Speech therapy terrified me of public speaking when I was younger. Signing up for a public speakling class in JHS, I was so sure I going to do horribly and be embarassed and made fun of. After all, speech therapists had spent hours upon hours of my time telling how bad my speech was, interrupting me in the middle of a story to nitpick my pronunciation, etc. To my surprise, I did wonderfully in speech classes. My speeches were unique and interesting, my eye contact was good, my audience understood me, I was well prepared and well poised, and the audience not only understood my speech but were generally impressed but what I had to say and how I said it. I did equally well in a HS public speaking class, have spoken at a number of public events, have given campaign speeches, and even placed highly in JAPANESE speech contests. I’m not an orator by nature (prefer writing), but I have done well in speaking despite years of being told how terrible my speech was. The speech therapists made me feel like no one would care what I had to say, as though I killed my own ideas by saying them, and so far, that has been far from the case. Speech therapy may have helped me with a few sounds hear and there, but it kept me from communicating, too, by telling me I had nothing to say.</p>
<p>XC,
Congrats on the job! I’d love that type of job if I qualified for workstudy. Good luck! </p>
<p>collegemom16,
I’m a huge advocate of ASL, but saying you’d be able to communicate with the deaf after a summer may be a bit of stretch. I’ve studied a lot of languages, most of them non-Europeann, and I can say without a doubt that ASL grammar is tons more difficult than anything I’ve encountered elsewhere. It has concepts in it hearing languages can’t even begin to touch! Not saying people shouldn’t study ASL (it’s a wonderrful language, please do), but be ready for a shock!</p>
<p>wolfpiper I know it takes more than just a summer, lol. Looking at my post I can see where you would think that though. I just meant that once the OP had completed the needed courses (no specified time) they would have a wonderful and useful skill to share. Thanks for the clarification. :)</p>
<p>OP, ASL might even be available at the state college you attend.</p>
<p>XC I’m glad you found a job. I knew you’d get one.</p>
<p>Re: medication for speech problem. I’m the one who said that. Let me explain.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what XC’s speech problem is. I have a s-i-l with a terrible speech impediment, among other problems. When she started taking antidepressants, her speech impediment–possibly linked to anxiety-- greatly improved. I want to clarify that I don’t think medication is the answer to everything. My thinking was that if the poster were depressed and ended up taking antidepressants, that might have a positive effect on his speech–I was picturing a rapid, slurred speech, that XC described. The comment about medicine/speech was just a parentheses at the end of my post because I remembered how it helped my s-i-l. The main point of my post was how to deal with the twin situation. There are a lot of people who can be helped by medication–or therapy, counseling, whatever-- and who continue to suffer or don’t reach their potential because they don’t get the help they need. I want to encourage anyone who has a problem to get the appropriate help, whatever that might be. </p>
<p>I also have a son who had speech delay, and couldn’t speak at the age of 7. (He has some Aspergers-like symtoms). A year of private speech therapy worked wonders. He still, at 13, doesn’t like to talk much, but his pronunciation is normal. He has always been homeschooled, so I’m glad he got through that phase without the stigma or teasing that a lot of kids experience.</p>
<p>X.C. Fair
As a parent I would think I have 2 different children with 2 different sets of needs, two different sets of strengths and weaknesses and two different lives.</p>
<p>As a sister of fraternal twins, I know that my sisters are less alike than many brothers and sisters of different ages. My sisters were lucky because my parents didn’t expect them to perform similarly. In truth, the more average of the 2 has been more successful in her life because she is a very hard, steady worker.</p>
<p>What I’ve learned in my life is that the only person it makes sense to compare yourself to is yourself. If you compare yourself to somebody you see as more successful than you, you feel one down and less than good enough. If you compare yourself to somebody who you are more competent or more successful than, you may feel superior, but they feel bad. </p>
<p>When you compare yourself to yourself, you can appreciate the ways that you have grown and improved, the ways that things have become easier for you, etc.</p>
<p>It sounds like you are unclear about how your parents feel about the differences between you. Can you ask them? And have you ever shared with them how you feel when they gush about her success? Parents love to brag–but they may not realize how it impacts you when their bragging takes place in front of you.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have found a positive way to spend the summer and are trying to live your life well. I hope that you appreciate your successes. I suspect that your life may be initially harder because of your speech impediment, but your experiences in overcoming the challenges it presents will help you develop strengths that will serve you well in life.</p>