I feel like I ruined a lot of my progress with my anxiety disorder by moving to college. The school I decided on is 2,000 miles away from my home state, has a very different climate, and since I’ve always been homeschooled, I’m not sure how my brain will suddenly respond to having a strict(er) schedule. In the past, I had lived away from my parents for an extended period of time, and I took a gap semester to better prepare for the transition (adding to my savings, spending more time with loved ones – I even had an internship for the last three months I was home). I thought I would be able to handle this… But this is easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Yesterday, I had a panic attack that kept me up for most of the night. I thought moving two days early would be a big help, but I don’t like bothering my RAs while they’re still on break, and the campus has felt really lonely and empty. I think I had a relapse of agoraphobia. I haven’t been able to leave my dorm building much the past two days, for fear of having another attack or getting lost (again). It’s been so hard, I emailed my academic advisor, asking if it’s too late to move off of campus and pursue my degree online. At this point, I feel like I’m supposed to force myself to stay for the Spring, but all I can think about is transferring to a college in my home state.
I don’t really know the point of this thread. I just feel really sick and tired of everything already. Hopefully things get better when my roommate gets here tomorrow, but I’m still just waiting for my advisor to get back to the office to see if I go online.