I’m now a high school senior. I went to a really challenging private school and I worked very hard. I just got in early decision to my top choice school (a very well respected, elite, prestigious liberal arts school on the east coast). But I hear adults telling other kids (especially ones who didn’t work as hard as me) that it doesn’t matter where you go to college, only what you do there, and that people who went to a crappy college can get as good a job or go to as good a graduate program as the kids who went to good colleges. Now I feel like all my hard work and tears from high school were a waste of time since going to a good college makes me no better off than the class clown going to a crappy college. I feel like I should’ve slacked off more. Am I right to feel this way?
Don’t be so down on yourself! Although it is true that your college career is more influenced by what you do than where you go, a good college will provide you with more opportunity than a bad one. You are better off if you attend a very good university AND use all the resources that they provide for you. Instead of worrying, you should congratulate yourself on this achievement. Slacking off would have been a waste; you haven’t wasted anything through your hard work, and you sure shouldn’t begin doing so now.
Good luck! 
You will most likely get a much better education, in and out of the classroom. Isn’t that the real purpose of college?
All your hard work in high school, the choices you made and the lessons you’ve learned, have all shaped you into the kind of student who could get into a very well respected, elite, prestigious liberal arts school.
It’s about the process.
So take a deep breath, hold your head up high, and be proud of the person those choices have enabled you to become.
Yes and no. The real message is to work hard, do your best but also balance that by enjoying as much of your experiences as possible. If you worked so hard academically in high school that you didn’t have time to cultivate friendships, laugh, have fun, find interests then you need to learn from that lesson and work on that facet of your life.
Going to a good college, getting a good job, having a perfect family and a nice house… None of those things will make you better either.
What you are really hearing is that there are many paths for happiness and success. You are on one possible path. Others may be on another. Every path comes with its own obstacles and rewards. Like kids going to less prestigious colleges, you need to make the most of your own path. It will have different obstacles than theirs will. At the end of college will they had equal or better jobs than you do coming from your good college? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on what you and they do in college. Depends on how you define success. Depends on how you define better. None of that really matters. Run your own race, drive your own car, whatever other metaphor you want to use. Focus on yourself and determining the best way for you to get what you determine to be success.
In addition to what others have said,the work ethic you have developed will help you in college and throughout life.
If the students that were lazy are suddenly able to turn on the work ethic in college, they had the benefit of having fun earlier and may do as well as you through college and beyond. The reality is that most lazy people don’t suddenly get it together, but their habits continue to hinder them.
Assuming this is a legit post:
In my opinion, you did things the right way and should be proud. I always tell my kids to just do the best they can at anything they do, I don’t care if it’s taking out the garbage or cleaning the table. You also have the opportunity to go to a great school that many others with similar stats may not have due to financial constraints or family situations. So just try to be happy with your life, and kick ass at your next school. Don’t worry about what other people think.
No, you are not right to feel this way. It seems you were in a panic about not getting into your top choice school and now that you are in, you want to be sure that everyone else who will be attending colleges you deem “crappy” will somehow have a lesser life than you will. IOW, you want to think that attending a higher ranked school will ensure that you can consider your self superior in some way. You are old enough to learn that life doesn’t work that way and the chances are excellent that someday you will probably work for someone who attended a school that was ranked lower than Middlebury and who makes more money and may have a happier life. The college you attend doesn’t determine your destiny, YOU do.
It’s hard to add to Joblue’s post, but I’d also suggest that many, many students at “lower ranked” schools than Middlebury have worked harder than you leading up to their attendance at their colleges.
You have learned something that takes many people years to learn - the power of discipline and hard work. That lesson is invaluable and will serve you well in life.
Adults tell less accomplished students they can still do well for several reasons . . . one, it’s true - but only if they learn and practice what you have already learned and done! Two, to let students know there is still hope (and there is). But it doesn’t diminish your achievements in any way. Think of yourself as ahead of the pack.
Now is your time to figure out what you really want out of life. Wishing you peace and clarity! Congratulations!
If you think that, then you have learned the wrong lesson. Your hard work in HS did pay off. You got to choose you college – which I will assume is a school you are comfortable at, found students with similar sensibilities, has academics you are excited about and feel you can thrive at, Hopefully you will take advantage of this opportunity by continuing to work hard and learn, develop friendships, be involved etc. That is be a reward in an of itself.
Does it guarantee you will make more than every person from State U? No. Does it guarantee you will be happy? No. But you have given yourself every advantage to have a great start in life in you continue on the path you have set. What you have to do in life is to keep working, keep moving forward and most importantly chart a good course for yourself and stop comparing your life and accomplishments to others.
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Now I feel like all my hard work and tears makes me no better off than the class clown going to a crappy college. I feel like I should've slacked off more. Am I right to feel this way?
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If the class clown matures and does well in college, then he can do well as well. But, likely he’s stiff goof off and won’t do well.
There is a world of difference between a top school and crappy school. What about all the good schools in between? What about all the students who were good students who try hard and go to those good schools?
there are only 1-2 careers that expect a degree from a top school.
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3.5 weighted GPA I also only got a 1890 on the SAT: 660 writing, 640 reading, 590 math >>>>
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You have a 3.5 WEIGHTED GPA and a 1250 M+CR. Your stats are fine, but they’re not the ones that indicate that you worked amazingly hard. A 3.5 Weighted is probably a 3.0 UW. Not bad stats, but not worthy of the concern that you seem to have.
You will grow during the next four years. Or not. You will learn what it really takes to be successful and practice that (including some good will toward others, who are on their own paths.) Or not. This worry- and the way you present it- are childish and ungenerous. Work on your own self and let the next kids work on theirs.
I don’t know if we’re getting any replies from the OP.
OP’s history shows 12 threads, zero replies. I think we are all preaching to the choir.
The OP appears to be less than honest in representing himself, but the topic has validity and many do wonder about such things. So to the extent a truly high achieving student might consider such a premise, I would tell them the following:
First, by being successful in high school, you were successful in getting into a top university/college. Remember, college isn’t just about getting a good job when you are finished, but also being prepared. By being in classes with peers that will challenge you, force you to push that extra amount to “keep up with the curve” (the point being that the curve at a top school is higher than the curve of a less selective school), and therefore train you to be more critical in your thinking and more diligent and thorough in your output. That’s the idea at least, and I think generally this is true.
I would also point out that while individuals certainly go on to great success in some cases while having attended a less selective school, on average the graduates of the more selective school achieve more, as measured by salaries, title, etc. This is even after correcting for those that come from family money and therefore have a “leg up”.
There is a famous study from I think the mid-90’s that showed that a student that got into an Ivy such as Harvard, but went to a state school or similar institution because of either choice or financial circumstances, on average did as well in their career as the Ivy grad. So in that sense the parents are correct; if you have what it takes it makes less difference where you go to school. But again, it is also a matter of how you want to spend those 4 years. To me, it is better to be challenged on a regular basis. Some only want to be the big fish, but I think most want to be among others that read obscure books, can teach you about weird math concepts, and are just generally as curious as you are.