I feel like my parents are holding me back

Applying to College
1

I’m a 15 year old high school sophomore looking to apply to some top colleges in a few years. My ECs are currently very weak and I’m really trying to improve them. The thing is, I feel like my parents are really holding me back from exploring my interests, finding opportunities, and doing new things. They reject the idea of me trying anything new and think I should stay in my own little box and somehow I’ll get accepted into great colleges. I am really upset by the fact that my parents are the only thing holding me back from pursuing opportunities. I have pointed out multiple times that their close-mindedness to this kind of stuff is really discouraging and frustrating but they don’t seem to get the point. I don’t want the only reason I don’t reach my full potential being that my parents wouldn’t let me try anything new. What should I do?

(I don’t hate my parents at all, I love them very much. I am just getting frustrated with this).

2

There are so many ways to develop your extracurricular interests that I am sure your parents would support. What are you interested in?

3

I need specifics.

4

I think you may be overthinking what’s a good EC for a soph. Go volunteer at a meal site once/mo, keep at it for 2 years, you’ll list it as 10, 11, 12. It’s a good thing. There’s always some who need the help and it will widen your perspective.

Get off the dime. Don’t hold yourself back.

We don’t know what your idea of a great college is, but they need you to think and take action, stretch. That beats waiting for the perfect opp, perfect timing.

And I don’t mean volunteering at random, through some club, which can be more about friends and fun for an hour or two.

5

ECs are after school jobs, babysitting, playing piano, volunteering, looking after a relative, doing weekly chores at home because a parent isn’t able to do so, gardening, being in a school club, sports, writing stories, and yes, dancing, gymnastics, robotics, etc…

Are you asking your parents to pay for expensive lessons in something, or an experience abroad building schools in Central America? Or are they saying “no,we don’t want you doing any of the things in Lindagaf’s list.”? If they really are putting their foot down about the many unpaid ECs a kid can do,then you should ask for a meeting with your counselor at school and your parents. Perhaps your counselor can help them understand why its good for kids to do things outside of school.

You have plenty of time to find ECs that work with your school and your family. Think outside the box.

6

@katnissjul How are they holding you back? What is it you are currently doing and what would you prefer to be doing?

7

I think this is one of those “venting” threads. :-??

8

This is what she posted elsewhere looks like she has ec’s covered

Here are my extracurriculars as of right now:
Key club editor
DECA - state qualifier, regional finalist
Varsity cheerleader
Action team captain with the volunteers of America
School musical
School choir
Friends of Rachel
Gifted and Talented

9

My parents also do the same things with me even sometimes I cry in front of them so that they understand my feeling but still they not understand my feelings. Then I talk to grandparents and told please convince your son, then they allow to me do whatever I want a dog.

10

OP, do you really just mean that they won’t give you money to do expensive ECs?

11

I don’t know the full context, but I think I understand your feelings. Based on your descriptions, your parents sound very similar to mine. I live in a very competitive area where kids intern during the summer/school year, go on medical trips abroad, compete in science fair projects/FBLA/DECA…etc. However, my parents did not allow me to participate in any activities that required money and limited my volunteering times (Even though I was volunteering with only one organization). I couldn’t intern because my parents wanted me to focus on my academics even though I already had solid grades and test scores. They thought if I scored a 35 or 36 on ACT, then I would go to great colleges. In other words, my parents didn’t care about ECs-all they cared about were academics. How I approached this situation was by reducing my extracurriculars but focusing heavily on a couple. I also managed to get an internship by promising my parents that I would go to the library every day during the summer and stay until 7 PM. I still felt very uneasy about my lack of extracurriculars because other classmates were winning national awards…etc. So I also looked up for remote volunteering experiences like becoming a social media manager for non-profits (and did this secretly!). I also wrote about my circumstance in the additional comments section for Common App.

This is just how I overcame my situation.

12

A job at the library?

13

@ucbalumnus I think the OP meant that she would go to the library every day and study there.