I hate college already and its only been three days... help please

College Life
1

<p>As the title says, today is my third day of college and I hate it already. The only friends I have made are my two roommates. They are cool, but not the type of people I see being close friends of mine. </p>

<p>There is so much stress and depression on my mind right now that I cant think straight, so I apologize if this post makes no sense. </p>

<p>I like to party. That is one of the reasons I was so exited for college. However, neither of my two roommates do. It seems like everybody else in my building is out partying besides me. I dont get how everybody has formed their partying group so quickly, and I somehow missed out. Everywhere I look there is a group between the size of 3-10 going out to party. Why am I not in one of these groups? Im being friendly to everybody I meet here. But for whatever reason, I can not get into one of these little party groups. Im a little socially awkward, but its not that bad. Does it just take time to meet my group of friends? If so, it doesnt seem like this is the case for anybody else on campus… </p>

<p>So basically my routine these first three days has been get up at 7 (just cause its orientation week) and then go to breakfast and sit and eat with my roommates and a group of people I dont fit in with (trust me, they are not my kind of people). I would sit with other people, but everybody around me is in groups that make them look like they have been friends for years. Plus, most of them seem like douches. I feel like there is nobody else on this damn campus like me. I want to believe that I just havent met my future group of friends yet, but ive got a bad feeling that I will not. </p>

<p>Next, I do a bunch of boring orientation crap with another group of people I dont fit in with. </p>

<p>Once all that is over, I try to talk and be friendly with the other people in my dorm, but even though they are nice to me, they clearly dont see me as more than an acquaintance. Therefore, I end up back in my dorm, miserable, while everybody else is out having a blast. I have tried going out and meeting people, but it never turns out to be more than a friendly conversation with some kids who then end up going out somewhere in their group that literally EVERYBODY has besides me.</p>

<p>I think part of the reason I am having so much trouble is this is my first time away from home. I have had the same friends since kindergarden all the way through high school. I have never missed anybody as much as I miss them all right now. I would give almost anything right now to go back to high school for one more day. </p>

<p>Im also not used to being an outcast. I was very popular in high school. My friend group is what was consider the “cool kids group”. We were always invited to parties, hosting them, etc. </p>

<p>I am not a good student either, so i cant be one of those kids who just focuses on school and gets good grades. I have very bad ADHD and need extra attention and all that ■■■■. Medication has not worked for me either. </p>

<p>Even though nothing has been fun for me so far, Im trying to keep an open mind. I might play intramural basketball. I might join some clubs. I might even consider pledging to a fraternity. </p>

<p>Any advice would be appreciated. Have I just not met my group of friends yet? Have I created an illusion that everybody else has created their friend group already? Will things get better when actual school starts? </p>

<p>Im very desperate, please help.</p>

2

<p>It’s been three days… and with that attitude, you’re probably projecting a vibe that no one wants to get close to. Next breakfast, go to a different table or group, and just ask if you can sit with them. Ask if they know of any parties. Then go with them. Bam, got a group. That’ll tide you over til you find your “cool kids groups”.</p>

<p>But really, it’s likely your attitude. After reading this, I definitely wouldn’t want to befriend you. </p>

3

<p>I don’t know how to respond without sounding like a huge jerk, so forgive me if I sound mean. I’m not trying to be…I’m just trying to be honest. First of all, CALM DOWN. It’s been 3 days. The first time I went away to college I only hung out with my room mate and her friend for the first little while. Slowly but surely I started making friends and before I knew it, I had tons of friends. Think about it this way…would you treat someone you’ve known for 3 days as more than an acquaintance? Everyone is anxious and home sick to some extent when they go away to college. You’re going to be fine. Those groups going out together can’t read minds. They don’t know you want to go unless you let them know. You will make friends. Try to stay positive. </p>

4

<p>Yeah, I’m afraid your behavior is a bit off-putting judging by what I’ve read here…everything you’ve said so far seems awfully pessimistic. It’s your third day of college. Is it possible that you’ve been giving off an unfriendly vibe when talking to people? This might just be a case of the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side, and perhaps you might’ve seen a bunch of people who seem to have already found their friends and thought to yourself, these people must suck because they’re not acting the way <em>your</em> friends (who have known you their entire lives) have. But really, it’s not even your first WEEK of college, dude. Just walk up to somebody and say hello. I’m sure there are others out there who are equally nervous about getting to know others. </p>

<p>Unless you decide to pack up your bags and return to your high school as a super senior, it’s time to be a little more positive about your college experience. On the bright side, becoming the oldest member of the HS class of 2015 might make you the coolest guy on campus! </p>

5

<p>It’s been three days buddy. I’ve moved about 8 times in my life from continent to continent. Making new friends is not that hard but don’t expect them to become your best friends after 3 days it takes much more time than that. My advice to you would simply be to go say hi to people, introduce yourself, sure you’re gonna be doing some small talk at first but thats just how it is. Ask them what they like to do for fun, and if they say something that sounds like you would like than just ask them if you can join them. I think your problem is, that as a cool kid in high school, you expect everyone else to come to you but these people don’t know who you are so you’re gonna need to make the first contact. Good luck</p>

6

<p>It’s been three days. Of course everyone is regarding you as nothing more than an acquaintance. That’s all you are at this point.</p>

<p>These big groups going out are likely little more than acquaintances either. What do you expect? Meet new people and within hours you’ll be talking like friends who have known each other for years? </p>

<p>Why aren’t you going out with these groups? When you see a group going out, walk up to them and introduce yourself. Ask if they’d mind if you joined them. I can almost guarantee you that they won’t mind. Odds are that this “group” is composed of a bunch of random people who just met each other yesterday, or perhaps even earlier today. </p>

<p>It’s easy to meet people. But it’s not going to work very well if you’re sitting alone in your dorm room. They aren’t going to come to you. You have to go where they’re at. Every year there are hundreds of thousands of nervous freshman going to college for the first time, and with few exceptions, they all make tons of friends. </p>

7

<p>go back to community college</p>

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<p>If you do want to party, rush a frat. BUT, you need to consider your own admission that you aren’t that strong a student. What if you took some of the suggestions here to slowly work on building friendships AND put a lot of energy into your coursework as well? A strong GPA in your first year is a huge benefit to your long term prospects for internships, jobs, grad schools, etc. No point in having such a good time freshman year that you don’t get to come back sophomore year – or wasting the money you/your parents are spending for your education. Keep your eye on the prize, which is a degree that can help you to the career you want long term. </p>

9

<p>Am I the only one who is reminded of Eliiot Rodger, when I read the OP’s posts?</p>

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<p>i feel you pain, ■■■■ the college I’m at</p>

11

<p>comfortablycurt is right. Those other groups may seem like best friends, but after 3-4 days they are still more flexible than you might realize. You might be shy, so this might be hard, but you really should try to just hang out with one or more of them.</p>