<p>Wow, definitely way more going on here than “I hate Everyday Math.” I would have the child evaluated by outside professionals.</p>
<p>Um, I think the son needs academic testing, but I also think Mom may be setting up some power struggles that may not be necessary.</p>
<p>I definitely suggest testing, too. I really think there may be more going on here than we can offer suggestions for. But I will address just the reading part: At this point, it really does not matter what your son reads. You are adamant that he read 20 minutes a night, as required by his teacher. He does not want to. You cannot “make” him read. I am not suggesting that you should just let him get away with not doing his assignment, but if you are ever going to get this child to read, you need to change your strategy. Why? Because, whether or not the way you feel about reading is “right,” IT IS NOT WORKING. This is not the time to fight, and it’s not the time to make him read something “appropriate.” I don’t know what your son is like, but most kids I have come across find the Captain Underpants series absolutely hilarious. Yes, it’s easy to read. If it gets him to read, though, it makes no difference. I often read things that are too easy for me (like the newspaper!). Patricia Polacco’s books are great, as are books by Dav Pilkey, Robert Munsch, and a host of others — a good children’s librarian can suggest others. These are all picture books with fun stories. Maybe if your son finds it fun, he might read. If he needs harder books, there are so many wonderful choices … fun books … and your library’s children’s librarian can help your son find some he might enjoy. Why NOT comic books!!! And I know it’s not considered p.c. to say this, but not everyone has to “like” reading. We just all have to do it! At least let a kid who doesn’t like to read, read something he might enjoy.</p>
<p>Please don’t be offended, but I want to offer an observation. I am not a certified teacher, but I have been a classroom helper for many years & a substitute teacher for almost 5 years. I am not an expert. However, I have seen a number of students who pick books that are much too hard for them. They cannot read them. They sit during reading workshop & pretend to be reading. I feel like they do it because they are frustrated that they can’t read like everyone else, so they pick something they think makes them look like they can read. You stated that your son reads aloud very well in school. But does he comprehend what he is reading? There is a big difference between being able to read something & actually understanding it … some kids can read fluently & not have a clue what they were reading. That has to be frustrating! It might be a possible explanation for your child.</p>
<p>I would be very concerned about a child who was a very good speller in kindergarten but now is not. I don’t think this is something to “wait out.” Frankly, I think a visit with a therapist might be in order (this is not a negative comment — I took my very well adjusted child to one when he had issues to work through — we all have issues to work through sometimes!). And a final thought: Have you had his hearing and/or vision checked lately?</p>
<p>The real problem is the requirement that he read 20 minutes a night and document it. A reader just reads– doesn’t count pages or books or chapters. A reader reads novels, instruction manuals, biographies, magazines, newspapers, cereal boxes, web pages, joke books, Archie Comics. A reading reads two minutes here, half an hour there, while watching TV or instead of cleaning his room. Requiring 20 minutes of age appropriate novel reading sounds like it could cause an emerging reader to become a reader, but does anyone really have any proof that it does? I think you should Just Say No. Tell the school the requirement is having a negative effect on your son’s reading development and your family life and that you decline to participate. What’s the worst that can happen?</p>
<p>Following up on Wellspring’s suggestion, if you don’t want to go so far as to refuse the assignment, can you break it up? Would it be more palatable to your son to have two 10 minute reading sessions rather than one 20 minute block? 20 minutes can seem like an eternity to a 3rd grader! (And you don’t have to tell the teacher that this is what you’re doing - they can’t object to what they don’t know.)</p>
<p>My son hated the required reading, which he’s had to do since 1st grade. This year it’s 45 minutes a night with a significant writing component. We had major (MAJOR) issues about that until he found the Hardy Boys and his current series of books (Percy Jackson and the Olympians). Until that point we cheated. He would read for 20 minutes and then park himself on my lap to be read to for the next 25, complete with voices and over-the-top emotions. We had a blast and I sort of miss it now that he’s over the hump, but he does tell me what goes on every night AND I read the books behind his back so we can discuss. If nothing else, it has removed the battle of wills between the two of us. Reading is my family’s greatest pleasure and I would never want him to remember reading with me as something unpleasant. I do understand the teacher’s reasoning and I know it’s best not to cheat, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. My theory is that as I read to him I can help him pronounce unfamiliar words and discuss things that may come up along the way. That’s probably me justifying, but . . .</p>
<p>What we did was just fill out reading logs the Sunday night before they were due. My kids read plenty - some days for hours, some days not at all, some days it was cereal boxes, some days it was computer manuals and some days it was books that would make their elementary school teachers happy. The worst year was when the reading log required my son to answer questions. “What is the setting? Who is your favorite character? etc” At the time is favorite book was Programming in Visual Basic. So his answers were “There are no characters. There is no setting.” Luckily his teacher admitted the reading logs were intended for the reluctant readers.</p>
<p>I hated those reading logs. My kids were all good readers but like most people read when they had time and would read for an hour or two or not at all. I made an agreement with each child that as long as they read, I would sign off on whatever the form said. At the beginning of each year, I would send a note in to the teachers to tell them that I disagreed with the required reading policy and what we would be doing but that we would be signing off anyway. I don’t think I ever got a return comment.</p>
<p>I actually think parents need to be a little more vigilant about comic books that the kids want to check out from the library. I order the adult graphic novels for our library and I’ll tell you, they’re not the same as the old comic books I grew up with. There are graphic novels that have full nudity and sex scenes, depictions of people being killed. Generally anything that you would see in the computer/video games that you don’t want your kids to play are in the graphic novels. This is not to say they are all like that. I’ve been very pleased with the majority of the ones our library has ordered but we’ve also returned a few that were pretty horrific.</p>
<p>Zoosermom’s post reminded me of our struggles with S in early elementary school. He was supposed to read every night, but there was no set amount of time (our district really pushes reading & they have TONS of in-school reading time — I think the out of school requirement is intended to establish a good habit). For several years, I read with him every night. Sometimes we would share in the reading, others times I would do the majority. I didn’t worry about it being me who read, because I knew he could read just fine. Eventually, he made the leap to reading on his own … and come to think of it, it was the summer following 3rd grade, when a Harry Potter book held his interest so much he couldn’t wait for Mom! To be honest, I still shared reading “duties” with him until 6th grade. We actually enjoyed reading & talking about what we read. We cried when we read Jip (GREAT story … S was blown away by it in 5th grade) & Where the Red Fern Grows. I had forgotten about our reading-together times. Thanks for reminding me (he’s a taciturn teen now). :)</p>
<p>When I posted a ways back with some random thoughts, I was responding to some things whatapainthisis had said … not trying to say that anything IS actually “wrong,” but to throw out ideas just in case. I felt an underlying tone that it might be more than stubbornness. But I don’t know her or her S, so I could be way off base. If it’s just a case of not wanting to read, plain & simple … then I would suggest trying the read-together strategy. If Mom is the reader the majority of the time, I personally don’t see a problem with it.</p>
<p>And a note to add … there are SO MANY great books for boys!! Whatapainthisis, please either talk to your librarian or do an internet search. Katherine Paterson, Avi, and other fine authors have written wonderful books that boys really enjoy. I wish I could remember the name of the book S read about a boy who lived on his own in the wild & made his own needle & thread, killed animals for food & used the entire hide & carcass, etc. — it was so well written, and S really liked it (probably for a bit older than OP’s S, but maybe not).</p>
<p>[url=<a href=“http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/18/AR2008021802244.html?hpid=topnews]washingtonpost.com[/url”>http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/18/AR2008021802244.html?hpid=topnews]washingtonpost.com[/url</a>]</p>
<p>^^^Thanks for the link, tokenadult. I didn’t read my e-mail copy of the paper today!</p>
<p>The math program discussed in that article is the one that has been introduced into our schools. I’m hosting a fund raiser for a school board candidate who vows to get rid of it. It is going to be a major struggle.</p>
<p>My younger son had TERC/Investigations. I really didn’t think it was any worse than the many other math programs that went through the schools, though I do think that it’s useful for kids to learn their math facts as well as understanding how math works.</p>
<p>I have absolutely no problem with breaking things down into groups using manipulatives. Kids do need to have some understanding of what the numbers mean. However, there comes a point at which there is no substitute for memorizing math facts. I have seen high schoolers who don’t know what 3x4 is, or what 28 divided by 7 is. Kids have to memorize words in order to read (for example, words like rough or laugh MUST be memorized). Why is it somehow wrong to memorize math facts? I am suspicious of any program that questions the importance of doing so. I often break down large numbers in the manner the article described … that’s how I multiply in my head, and I am pretty darn good at it. However, it’s faster to do traditional multiplication on paper. I can’t imagine how cumbersome it would be to have to do the “breaking it down” thing all the time.</p>
<p>Ok, now I’m not embarrassed to say anymore than my HS JUNIOR Son & I share reading. We haven’t done it this year, but that’s more a function of his really connecting with his English teacher, and wanting to please him, than anything else. We’ve shared several books over the years, taking turns reading a chapter at a time aloud to eachother.</p>
<p>Sometimes, I just get him started… other times we get through the whole book. He reads just fine, tho his vocab needs some work. He just is unmotivated. Other than the Harry Potters… there’s nothing he’s ever jumped into. And even those… he read the first four in Grade School & MS… then NOTHING. Saw the movies. When the final book came out this summer, he decided on his own that he wanted to be able to say he read the entire series. So he read 5 & 6… and then patiently waited for 7. </p>
<p>He likes Mitch Albom’s stuff, Tuesdays With Morrie & Five People You Meet In Heaven… I wish he’d write more, but those are 3 that we’ve shared. The last one, “For One More Day” is an awesome choice for a mother/son to share. We had some amazing talks during the time we read that book about their relationship and OURS! . We tried to watch the movie together, but it really wasn’t very good, and gave up after 1/2 hour. We also read most of Nicholas Sparks, Three Weeks With My Brother"… he enjoyed it, but the assignment was due before he finished the book, so he dropped it after completing the written work (and getting a good grade). </p>
<p>He’s always enjoyed being read aloud to… and here’s another thing I do to get him moving… I buy him the books on CD, he uploads it to his ipod and then he listens. I know he can read. He knows the words and he has the decoding skills. He’s a good student. But now he’s working on the comprehension, which he gets through auditory means. It’s fine!</p>
<p>I enjoy reading with mine and I know it’s a little weird to still read to a 4th grader (but hey he nursed till age 4), but we both enjoy it and that’s good enough for me.</p>
<p>When my first child was born, my mother needlepointed two samplers. One said “you may have tangible wealth untold, caskets of jewels and coffers of gold, but richer than me you can never be for I had a mother who read to me.”
From The Reading Mother by Strickland Gillian</p>
<p>I read bedtime stories to my kids until they were at least nine. I think I only stopped because my son got into stories that I enjoyed less and he was apt to read ahead during the day. I was surprised how much I enjoyed reading out loud, I had such awful memories of going around the circle for reading in sixth grade.</p>
<p>I have a friend who reads out loud to her husband every night it’s very sweet. They were reading Dickens when I last visited her.</p>
<p>I read the Chronicles of Narnia (several from the series, actually) aloud to my family a number of years ago. My husband especially enjoyed it!</p>
<p>Oh boy, I HATED everyday math. I remember I got in deep trouble because I did not do one problem - I just solved them on the spot if I was asked a question.</p>
<p>Yes, don’t let your kid fall behind the top-notch kids in the nation. Although I’ in the mathematics fast-track, creative problem solving competitions kill me.</p>