It’s Christmas break and so I’ve had some time to think about my situation and I’m so unhappy here. I really don’t even want to return for the spring semester because I’m just going to be sad again seeing everyone with their friends, catching up, etc and I’ll be alone with no one. Because I have no friends here and am so alone/lonely, I don’t even care about school or my grades because I’m so sad over it. I have absolutely no motivation to do work at all. I spend a lot of my time in my dorm crying. Being at UVA has really really made my mental health severely worse. Everyone here hates me now, the police are apparently watching out for me, and now I’ve just lost what very LITTLE hope I even had for this place. I knew before I came here I wouldn’t make any friends and wouldn’t really like it here, but it was the cheapest place, so I figured whatever I’d just come. There were times I’d get excited and think about how maybe I’d make friends, find a boyfriend, etc, but that’s clearly not meant for me. Everyone who has reached out to me on here doesn’t contact me anymore. Yes, I’m aware people have asked me to meetup, but it’s only because they feel sorry for me. It’s not that they actually want to form a true friendship with me. Which is why I sometimes don’t even take people up on their offer because it’s just another acquaintance and nothing more. No one interacts with me on grounds like in classes, dinning hall, passing etc. I have no interest or hobbies and I can’t click with anyone. I have no idea what to talk to people about or how to even start or carry a conversation. I’m boring and just no one likes me (at least here). Talking to my suit mates doesn’t work either because we have nothing in common. I can barely even get myself to say hello to them when passing, but I try sometimes to start a little convo. I’m starting to think maybe I’m just meant to be alone with no friends here and accepting the fact I might not even find love here either like others do. Also, please don’t give me tips on how to make friends. I promise it won’t work for me. Overall, I hate UVA and the people here.
FWIW, I’m not sure UVA is your problem. You don’t outline anything in the statement that’s unique or specific to UVA. How do you feel anything you wrote would be different at a different school?
I’m sorry you have these feelings. Please seek the help of a mental health professional immediately. What is your goal with this post? I don’t think you will find anyone here who agrees that people don’t like you, feel sorry for you, and hate you. Your words indicate that you need more help than people on this site can give you.
Have a look at the linked posts, which might encourage you.
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/t/to-those-who-feel-lonely-homesick-friendless-think-they-chose-the-wrong-school-etc
I don’t think this is a problem with UVA. I strongly suggest you make an appointment with the college counseling center, and/or a mental health professional. You seem to need a lot of support. I doubt people ask you to meetup because they feel sorry for you. If that was true, they’d probably just not bother. Please be proactive and take action to improve your mental health. You will need a more positive outlook whether you are at UVA or elsewhere. Good luck.
Thank you for sharing this—I’m so sorry you’re feeling alone. People want to help you; if you’d like to speak with a counselor now, you can text HOME to 741741.
Please take care of yourself and know that there are people who care about you. Things can be better.
it’s impossible to connect with anyone here at UVA. It’s like you either fit in or you don’t. It’s so cliquey here and it’s so annoying. That’s why I don’t like the people here.
I already attend CAPS and that’s not helping. Idk what to do anymore.
Doesn’t feel like anyone cares. At least not here at UVA. I don’t foresee things getting better here.
I agree.
This is a good point. So many times in life I’ve complained about things and then I realized (thanks to a friend) that they’re more or less the same everywhere. Humans are pretty similar (for better or for worse.)
My point was that it’s nothing unique to UVA.
I have a close friend whose daughter can be socially awkward. His original thought was to send her to a small school where she might know “more of the people there”. Good advice given from multiple places was to send her someplace “larger” so there is a more diverse cross/section and higher likelihood she will find “her people”. It worked out but she still needed to put herself out there into varying clubs and situations.
Anyplace is going to be cliquey - you need it find your clique.
You to discuss this with a mental health professional - either on campus or off.
Have you contacted a mental health professional? I strongly suggest that.
Thank you for responding. If CAPS isn’t helping, try texting HOME to 741741. A different mental health professional, someone not at UVA, might be able to help.
I am so sorry you feel this way but you are not alone!!! I am sure there are people who love you and there are countless strangers who want to help and offer support. It’s a matter of trying to help you connect with people.
You are also not alone in these feelings of isolation and while it doesn’t make it “better” know these feelings are common and often pass abruptly for people.
You need to find someone to talk to. Do you have any relatives you can share your feelings with or a clergy member? How about a professor? I am sure there are faith based groups on campus that might be supportive even if you aren’t religious.
I encourage you not to make this about UVA but about how you can get help. You deserve to feel better and the first step will be for you to find some one to confide in.
Please get some help and stay strong you are not alone and people care!!
What are your interests, hobbies, etc.?
I have none to be honest.
I would not return to school in this state of mind. You need a long talk with your parents.
Is there a reason you haven’t yet contacted a mental health professional outside of your college?
The issues raised by the OP are beyond the scope of anonymous people on the Internet, as well-intentioned as they are. So I am closing this thread, while encouraging the OP to review some of the recommendations already made, including seeking the assistance of a mental health professional. Good luck.