<p>I’m super smart, but I’m also lazy (but its not my fault because I have undiagnosed ADD and depression that have been plaguing me all my life) so I’m failing all my classes. I cry myself to sleep every night because I’m so depressed. I’m so stressed out about not doing my homework that I just go to school and come home everyday and cry. I don’t know anyone at my college and I have no friends. I just wish I had some friends to keep me company but I don’t know how to meet people and make them like me. I’ve been in love with this guy in my math class all semester but I don’t know how to talk to him and make him like me back. He asked me how I was doing one day, but I just said “fine” and nothing else happened. </p>
<p>I live off campus because I don’t want to deal with people, but now I’m super lonely. I live all alone in a dirty apartment. I spend weekends by myself doing nothing. I joined a club but no one will talk to me outside of it. I don’t get along with anyone because all they want to do is party and drink and I refuse to associate with people who do those things. I’ve gained so much weight in the past few years that I can’t even bear to look at myself in the mirror. </p>
<p>All I want are some friends and some dignity, but I don’t know how to go out there and get it. No one cares about me. If I died no one would even know. I am so hopeless I cut myself. I need a friend. Please can someone help me make friends?</p>
<p>I think you should take a deep breath, calm down, and go to sleep because chances are you posted this while feeling really desperate or unhappy late at night, and maybe after a good night’s sleep you’ll feel more relaxed and rational. </p>
<p>I think you should see a counselor (most colleges offer at least a few free counseling sessions) at your college about your depression or anxiety problems. </p>
<p>I also suggest you should try to exercise at least 30 minutes each day; exercise helps your mood, keeps you active, keeps you mentally and physically alert. Joining an intramural team might be a good idea so you can meet people while exercising at the same time.</p>
<p>Also, please don’t do anything desperate or rash (hurt yourself). I’ve also had a lot of problems in the past year - a parent dying, major financial stress, lots of family problems, etc - and I know how it feels to be stressed out constantly. I can tell you exercising regularly, sleeping 7-8 hours every night and eating well will help tremendously so you can focus rationally on how to solve your problems.</p>
<p>Also, you can PM me if you want more personal advice.</p>
<p>But, from reading your post, you sound like a text book loner. You say you are “super smart”, and yet you are failing all of your classes and not doing your homework. How do you know how smart you are if you haven’t applied yourself intellectually? You also sound like you have a negative attitude to life that needs to be re evaluated if you want to feel happy. And don’t be so judgmental of other people that you won’t even associate with them, you need to loosen up a little and have fun. What is wrong with partying and drinking? If you hear no evil and speak no evil all the time, you will miss on a lot of what life has to offer. And, to be likeable, you have to have some love in your soul. Undiagnosed ADD? I think it could be part of your depression. I went through a deep depression for a couple years and I thought I had ADD, but it was really just part of my depression, and once I lifted that, I got my mental sharpness back.</p>
<p>I would agree and say you do need professional help.</p>
<p>However. Your attitude is horrible. Speaking as someone who has gone through horrible chronic depression and problems with self-injury, you have honestly put yourself into this situation, and it seems like you’d rather complain than do something about it. Just try and actually DO your homework, rather than crying about it. Just try. Set a small goal - get one assignment done, or even half of one - and try to do more each day. You say you “don’t want to deal with people,” but you want friends? Those things are kind of mutually exclusive. Furthermore, if you “refuse to associate” with people who party or drink, then you’re writing so many potential friends off. Remember that even if they party and drink, you don’t have to. They’re still good people. Just remember no one’s going to like you if you have this awful attitude.</p>
<p>I know what it’s like to be depressed, but you have to want to change and make a committed effort to doing so. You need to have a good attitude about it. Is it hard? Yes. Will counseling help? Definitely. But counseling isn’t magic - you have to do the work.</p>