<p>I definitely try to keep in mind that what others post on Facebook can be a far cry from representative of their lives. It’s tough as a graduate student because I see a lot of image crafting going on from my peers and it’s hard to not feel inadequate when others are getting first-author publications and then running 5ks while I have no publications (yet) and couldn’t run a half mile. I guess I have a fair number of achievements but I’d feel awkward about putting them on Facebook. </p>
<p>What really amazes me too is how little people seem to be able to gauge what is appropriate to share on Facebook. Paying3tuitions, you think a deathbed selfie is bad, somebody posted a picture of my good friend’s body from her wake to Facebook. :/</p>
<p>hyperJulie, a body at a wake? That’s really wild. Also if I don’t “Like” it, I hope the Funeral Home Director understands he still did a good job.</p>
<p>A body at a wake? Can the family ask to have that removed? One more reason to insist on a closed casket!</p>
<p>When one of my family was having a sustained and serious health issue we made a private group for friends and family and posted there. Everyone was in the loop, but phone calls were reduced and people could offer support without worrying if they were calling at a bad time. It was so helpful. </p>
<p>Sorry. That was really bad.
I have a question though. If you “unfollow” a person, you don’t see their news feed but can they still see yours? I have a few people that I regret accepting their friend request but I feel funny about unfriending them. I also don’t like people who are on facebook but never say anything, post anything or like anything. They just stalk. It seems so voyeuristic to me.</p>
<p>Facebook, for me is way to see what old friends are up to, whether it be showing off their kid’s and sometimes grandkid’s milestones or their vacation photos. I don’t care for those who use it as a tool to garner sympathy for the minor issues of their lives. I don’t mind seeing their lunch, their golf outings, their kid’s school plays, games, proms or announcing life events that aren’t so happy. </p>
<p>I was alarmed by a post two days ago from a high school friend who posted that state troopers just came to her door to tell her that her son was killed in a car accident
I think it was a knee jerk reaction because this is a woman who rarely posts anything , let alone something so deeply painful</p>
<p>EPTR you can put those people on a list and then block that list from seeing your posts. You can tailor any post you make to be seen by only certain lists you create. Some people have lists for work friends etc so that not everyone sees everything. </p>
<p>Regarding the friend who posted that she was notified that her son was killed in a car accident…on occasion someone will post something sad, and I want to push the “like” button to indicate that I read it, and that I feel for them, but liking a post of that nature is not the sentiment I want to convey. I wish there was a way to indicate that I feel empathy without having to leave a comment.</p>
<p>our neighbor posted from the Outer Banks that her husband had drowned!!! Talk about a shock. I can’t really imagine what I would do in that case, but I’m pretty sure I’d (eventually) have one of the kids call a mutual friend to deliver that news!</p>
<p>Regarding my friend’s body, her dad saw it and got really upset. The young woman didn’t tag in her in it but she posted it on her Facebook wall. She got contacted by relatives and asked to take it down, which she did, but it took her a while. The funeral home did a fine job, and they also buried her in all of her favorite things (Slytherin scarf, Bruins jersey, etc.), so she looked like herself. Even still, it really wasn’t appropriate. </p>
<p>@EPTR lol my advice is from the “do as I say, not as I do” school of knowledge!! In theory I know this can be done, but I have yet to create my lists. I do on occasion block someone from seeing an individual post. That is under Custom and you can just type in the name of who you want to block. When you go to make a post I think you can choose if it is Public or Freinds of friends etc. </p>
<p>A close high school friend of mine died in October, probably of alcohol poisoning (the police didn’t find her body for a few days). My friend’s distant cousin posted on my friend’s Facebook page about what had happened. A mutual FB friend alerted me to the post. I was shocked! I asked the cousin to take down my friend’s page, but she hasn’t. I still get notifications such as, “Jane Doe likes such-and-such…” or “It’s Jane Doe’s birthday today!” I should probably use “unfriend,” but I can’t make myself.</p>
<p>When I saw the post about the son that was killed, my initial reaction was that someone had hacked her account , but I subscribe to the local news affiliate there and it was on their FB page. I don’t think I could be in any condition to be on FB if such a tragedy had affected me so personally , but everyone reacts differently. The same day, I got a call that our income property ( our former house ) was either on fire , or it was the house next door. I was so upset that I drove there , or as close as I could get and ran down to see…thankfully it was NOT our house. I was so shaken that I had a hard time even texting my husband that it wasn’t our house</p>
<p>Yes, you can unfollow them or stop their feed from appearing in your updates, but you can still go to their page and see things and they can see your posts. I’ve done that with several folks who were just driving me nuts either with selfies or political posts. Also, I can only handle so many “Share this so this little boy can see his father” or whatever. A lot of those are marketing ploys to mine for active accounts.</p>
<p>^^ I never respond to those " share if you love your daughter/mother/son/ type posts. Or " I survived " whatever horrible disease …always seemed fishy to me</p>
<p>Sometimes I regret setting up a FB account, but other times it may be weeks between emails or even texts from my kids so at least their FB posts let me know they’re alive and well. Mostly, I enjoy seeing posts from dh’s siblings about their kids and grandkids and even their pets. </p>
<p>Like many, I have a love/hate thing with FB.</p>
<p>My biggest pet peeve is people who post something to their spouse that requires a response, when you know they are probably sitting in the same room working on their laptops. (Like, the husband puts up an old picture of the two of them and the wife comments back “where was this taken again??”) Annoying.</p>
<p>Also dislike #TBT. A lot. And the manipulative “I bet you won’t put this post about (insert cause here) for an hour” guilt-trips.</p>
<p>And more than anything I dislike the people from my high school who are racist, mean-spirited, and ignorant. But for some reason I just can’t quit them…maybe because I want the option to respond to them if the mood strikes. Of course, I rarely do but instead hide their rants.</p>
<p>I do love connecting with old friends all over the world, seeing people’s pets, babies and prom pictures, and living vicariously through friends who are leading more interesting lives than mine!</p>
<p>I actually really like facebook. No, it’s not perfect but I can hide certain people if they get too annoying or ignore the posts that really bug me (those 'i bet you won’t post this are my least favorite as I’ve hidden/defriended people that post racist or nasty comments). I’ve been able to reconnect with so many people that I’m sure I never would have been in touch with again were it not for social media (and facebook is what makes most sense for me, at my age). </p>
<p>I actually really enjoy #TBT along with all the prom, graduation, achievements, etc. postings. I know I’m only seeing the best of people’s lives (for the most part) but I know that and, to me, the good of FB far outweighs the bad. Having said that, I don’t think of myself as a particularly witty person and post pretty infrequently. I guess, mostly for milestones so I too have probably created a bit of a false view of what my life is like. But I’m OK with that and know that’s how it is for many others too.</p>