<p>Can anyone read this information about me and tell me which points to keep, and which to leave out??? Elaborate further if needed. Thanks! </p>
<p>I was told to write an autobiographical admission essay. I need a little help and guidance from peers, experts too, please. Here is information about me:</p>
<p>I am 25 years old and a military veteran. My wife was in the military (where we met), and we have our 2 year old son. We are both going to college, she is a biology major (pre-dentistry) with a high GPA. I was born and raised in California, went to a few different community colleges throughout the state, and now I live in St. Louis, Missouri and go to the community college here. Below is a list of the courses I have completed, and the grades I received, as well as the courses I plan to take at this college over the next 2 semesters (if not accepted to Washington University of St. Louis). </p>
<p>I have come a long way since nearly dropping out of high school. My parents divorced when I was only 11 and it was a nasty divorce. That marked the beginning of most my adolescent problems and legal issues. I was an all-star soccer player before this point in my life, usually being the MVP of my team and undoubtedly taking first place in the league, almost every year. I was also the winner of several spelling bees and math competitions. At one point I was inducted into the G.A.T.E. program of California. Soon that was all going to fade away. After my parents divorce, my weight started to go up as my grades fell down. </p>
<p>By the time I entered high school I had no longer got A’s in my courses. After the first quarter of my freshmen year, all my grades were the farthest away from the letter ‘A’ as possible. To make matters worse, I was on the cusp of being expelled. On the very last day of my freshmen year, “Adios,” I was expelled. My sophomore year of high school I went to a continuation school where all the bad kids are sent. It was supposed to be a place where I could get my stuff together and improve my situation. Unfortunately, for myself, as well as most other students at the school, putting bad with bad does not yield good; bad increases exponential at that point. That was about the time my criminal record was created. I was expelled for being involved in the theft of a digital camera.</p>
<p>I started the second half of my sophomore year in a school where the banished are sent. Outcast from the community, we are expected to rehabilitate our ways while at this institution of education. Needless to say, bad with bad does not yield good. After incurring a more diverse criminal record, I opted to remove myself from the bad and continue my high school education on home school. Between that point, approximately age 15, to graduation from high school and continuing onto age 17, my life sank into an abyss of nothingness. In this abyss was a teen life of petty crimes and a general lack of caring. </p>
<p>Since the beginning of my parents divorce, to this point, I had ballooned to the weight of 300 pounds, nearly seventy-one inches tall, and size fifty-two trousers; I had faced 3 years in juvenile hall and tens of thousands in fines; seemingly earned the worst driving record in the history of the county; acquired the worst type of friends and acquaintances a teen should have; nearly failed high school; the list goes on. </p>
<p>Fortunately for me, I spent 5 long, depressing days in juvenile hall. I still remember the day I was sentenced: June 26, 2002. I remember the fear that came into me when the judge sounded his mallet on the stand, “five days in juvenile detention,” he said very calmly. I started to cry, hugging my mom, begging her to get me out of there. Off I went.</p>
<p>A few months later I started to turn my life around: I found my way out of the abyss of nothingness. The nothingness was like the minimum of a basic parabola, at a glance, “It’s all up from here.”</p>
<p>I ate healthy, exercised frequently and studied tremendously. I found more valuable friendships. I applied to the local fire district and was accepted, which led to the growth of other professional relationships and friendships. I became an excellent firefighter and a stand up citizen. One of the highway patrol officers who followed me my entire teen life stated, in the presence of several firefighters, the chief and other members, that I am “the most improved citizen.” </p>
<p>Since the actualization of my maturity, I have grown to become an extraordinary person, father, husband, student and overall member of society. Everything in my life has improved immensely. I am always striving to learn more, become more proficient, and to teach others how to do the same</p>
<p>From the time of my parents divorced, until the time I found the minimum of my parabola, I led a life that was unbecoming. A life filled with bad grades, poor conduct, petty crime, exhibitionist driving, and a lack of care. Let us not forget obesity.</p>
<p>Today, I maintain a relatively strong GPA in a diversified set of college courses. I have shed over 100 pounds of body weight (before enlisting in the Navy) and have maintained a life of health and fitness, consistently; I can run 2.4 kilometers in approximately 9 minutes.</p>
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<p>My grades:</p>
<p>Field Geology [ESC 35] - 2 Credits - C
First Responder [EMS 170] - 2 Credits - A</p>
<p>Intro to Corrections [ADJU 235] - 3 Credits - A
Intro to Adm Justice [ADJU 201] - 3 Credits - A
Explorer World Web [CMPGR 262] - 1 Credit - C
Intro to Comp Graphx [CMPGR 202] - 3 Credits - C</p>
<p>Pre-Algebra [Math 088] - 3 Credits - B
Fund. Comp Science [CS 011] - 3 Credits - A
HTML Web Publish [CSW 023] - 3 Credits - B
Intro to Internet [CS 070] - 1 Credit - W/D
Computer Logic [CSP 017] - 3 Credits - A
Review of Arithmetic [MATH 076] - 3 Credits - A</p>
<p>Political Science [POLSCI 301] - 3 Credits - A
English Comp. I [ENGWR 300] - 3 Credits - A
Elementary Algebra [MATH 100] - 5 Credits - A</p>
<p>General Psychology [PSYC 120] - 3 Credits - A
English Adv. Comp. II [ENG 124] - 3 Creditdits - B
History of Jazz [MUSIC 111] - 3 Credits - A
Intermed. Algebra [MATH 110] - 4 Credits - A</p>
<p>General Chemistry I [CHEM 105] - 5 Credits - C (I plan to retake this class, there was a reason I received a C)
Oral Communications [COMM 101] - 3 Credits - A
College Algebra [MATH 160C] - 4 Credits - A</p>
<p>Next 2 Semesters:</p>
<p>Fall 2011:
Intro to Biology [BIO 111] - 5 Credits - Fall 2011 (Probably an A)
Trigonometry [MATH 170] - 3 Credits - Fall 2011 (Probably an A)
Philosophy [PHL 101] - 3 Credits - Fall 2011 (Probably an A)</p>
<p>Spring 2012:
General Biology I [BIO 140] - 5 Credits - Spring 2012 (Probably an A)
Re-take General Chemistry I [CHEM 105] - 5 Credits - Spring 2012 (Probably an A)
Calculus I [MATH 210] - 5 Credits - Spring 2012 (Probably an A)</p>
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<p>This was written in a short period if time, pardon my errors or lack of thoughtful structure.</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>