<p>Yesterday we lost our beloved dog of 12 years. It was very sudden. He threw up once Wednesday evening. When my husband came down early Thursday morning, he discovered he had had diarrhea during the night. After cleaning it up, my husband came upstairs and told me and then left for work. I went downstairs and there was more diarrhea with some blood in it. </p>
<p>I asked my (adult) son if he could take the dog to the vet, as I am a teacher and it would be difficult to get a sub at that point. I went to school and six hours later my dog was dead. I wasn’t there for him at the end. I am beside myself with shock and grief. I don’t want to go downstairs now because he won’t be there for our morning routine. </p>
<p>The vet said that it could’ve been cancer or some pancreatic problem, or something else (but I can’t remember now what she said). He was a very small dog, which made it harder for him to fight it off. We declined having an autopsy, so these are her best guesses, based on his symptoms and blood work. She said that animals sometimes hide their illness. He was getting slower than he had been, but did not act sick, and we attributed it to his age.</p>
<p>I know it’s a good thing we didn’t have to make a choice. He took it out of our hands (typical for him to want to be in control). I am just so upset I wasn’t there for him at the very end. I am struggling with how suddenly this happened, too. </p>
<p>Anyone who has any advice or words of wisdom, please help.</p>
<p>Please don’t beat yourself up too much for not “being there” for your beloved pup. A dog that we had for almost 16 years went off by herself at the end…I just think it’s an instinctive thing for them to do. </p>
<p>I hope that you can get to the point where you remember all the wonderful things and times with your dog and not just feel sad. And I do think it is a blessing that you did not have to make any really difficult choices about treatment and quality vs. quantity of life issues. My current pet is a border collie/aussie mix and she is 11 years old. I dread being faced with this sort of decision…</p>
<p>I pray this day brings you peace and comfort. And smiles as you remember your times with your pet.</p>
<p>The suddenness and the symptoms sound like what my beloved dog had–hemangiosarcoma, a very aggressive form of cancer known as the “invisible killer” of dogs. In my dog’s case, he was fine till all of a sudden he wasn’t. He had some symptoms the week or two leading up to the end but they were relatively minor, so when the end came it was a complete shock and my kids and I had no time to adjust or prepare.</p>
<p>When the vet school did an autopsy they found cancer in his blood, spleen, liver, kidneys, lungs, heart and brain. All in an 8-year-old dog who had seemed so healthy his whole life. It was sad to learn how sick he had been, but truly, he had enjoyed every day of his life until the end. That is a blessing for your dog, too–he didn’t have an extended period of a compromised life. He was lucky to have good health and a loving family for so long. It was just his time. :(</p>
<p>Sportsmama, our dogs are like our children. We do so much for them and we love them. Their unconditional love in return is the best thing for our souls. </p>
<p>I am very sorry for your loss. It will get easier, and you’ll start to remember the good times and the wonderful things your dog did for you.</p>
<p>And when you are ready, you’ll consider honoring your pup by getting a new dog to love and be loved by.</p>
<p>Sportsmama, I am so very sorry. Ditto on the ‘don’t feel guilty that you weren’t there’ expression. Our dog also went off on his own to pass away. I agree that it is instinct and your sweetie knew that you loved him. I hope you are able to go downstairs soon without tears of sadness but fond memories instead.</p>
<p>OP–this will just be sad and painful for a time. Our dog died after 16 beautiful years with us. We had lots of warning and were there with him when he died and it was still a big loss. Every single time I came home and he wasn’t there running to greet me…this was 20 years ago and I’m still in tears thinking about it, but now they are mostly happy tears, remembering his wonderful presence in our lives. You will never lose those memories.</p>
<p>We are soon to be in your shoes, as our beloved lab is 13, diabetic, arthritic and had an anal sac cancer excised about 2 years ago, which could have metastasized in the interim. She is on borrowed time, and I’m dreading the day when she is no longer following me around from room to room. </p>
<p>Don’t blame yourself. Mercifully, your dog didn’t suffer for long.</p>
<p>Hugs to you sportsmama. You were with your dog for 12 years, so please don’t feel bad for not being there at the VERY end. I hope each day gets easier and that your memories give you comfort. How is everyone else doing?</p>
<p>We lost our dog a few months ago to cancer. I too just could not be there at the end. I thought that I could handle the grief until the next day when I found myself in the middle of Nordstroms suddenly sobbing on the shoulder of an understanding lingerie sales person. It hits hard and fast, especially when your pup was like mine : A GOOD BOY.
Be thankful for our sweet dogs. My heartfelt sympathy.</p>
<p>Oh darling, I wish i could come up with words to comfort you. All I can say is that I cried longer and harder for my dogs than for my mother. Think about him every day. Talk about him every day. Remember all the bad things that he did as if they were the cutest tricks. I know that my guys will be waiting for me in heaven, wiggling their tushes like crazy. And take this book out of the library-- Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant–it will help.</p>
<p>So sorry. In a perfect world, maybe you would have been with him at the end, but life doesn’t always work the way we like. Know you gave him a good life for 12 years, know that you handled his “sudden illness” well … not waiting to get him medical care … and know he didn’t suffer an extended illness. Then mourn and don’t feel bad about it. He - and you - deserve a good cry or two. Make a contribution in his name to an animal shelter.</p>
<p>I lost my girl after almost 13 years of friendship and was not there for her at the end either. She went quickly while I was out of town. The house was so quiet when I got home and her sleeping spots were empty and I was so sad. I adopted a new puppy three weeks later and I am glad I did not wait. You will grieve and then move on. There is a new friend waiting to come into your heart. Your dog would not want to see you so sad. Pets always seem to bring out our best. Hugs to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss…</p>
<p>I’m so sorry for your loss, I have been where you are and I can still feel that pain but with time, now I also have wonderful memories of those years we had. My Duncan never gave us an indication that he was sick until the last week and running from Dr. to Dr. didn’t help him any. And frankly, I had to mix my love for him with the financial impacts of what those drs. wanted to do. I really believe he chose to leave to spare me the choice I was facing with his treatment. Your pup didn’t want to go through that, or put you through that either. Read that Rainbow Bridge poem, that helped me. Hugs to you.</p>
<p>Please accept my condolences. Our pets become family members and the loss is often so, so difficult. You must grieve. Allow yourself that time. You will know when to move on and adopt another pet. Those of us who are dog people know that only another dog can fill the gaping hole left by the loss of a wonderful, long-time friend. Don’t beat yourself up about not being there for him at the end…I’m reminded of the ditty a former colleague quoted often: “If only I were as perfect as my dog thinks I am.” --paraphrased here but you get the point–</p>
<p>I am so sorry. Allow yourself permission to grieve as much as you need to. Losing a beloved pet is very painfu. My precious Missy died in my arms last October and I still can’t believe that she’s gone. </p>
<p>Our pets are very much family members. They’re with us all the time, faithfully at our feet, by out sides, or in our laps. </p>