i need a strong english writer to revise with me this weak argumentative essay!

prompt:"girls must be allowed to have more freedom’

“A loose cufflink easily lost, strictly fixed doesn’t”
It is hard to define neither freedom nor control, but in a narrow sense, theyre processes ultimately concerned with ‘boundaries’ which one can or can’t exceed. As the women at the time being has taken her fully deserved rights in a way, skeptical people started arguing. What if we intrude young girls in such issues, it would turn to world war|||. Getting closer, who determine, limit a girl’s freedom? Does she deserve freedom?
On a one hand, frequent limitations would take us overseas in a relative situation. the girl seek fake amused life until her mother
s face invade into her road. Illogical harsh claims -according to her-would worsen her attitude and would lead to divergent track she could easily pick.
Eventually, she initiates a fault self-combat manner towards herself, family and society to overcome the facing captivity. That is why parents should obey to her selfish abnormal commands rooting out such problems? nothing from that.
Hence, entirely freedom should have given. ‘Disastrous’, Why should it?
One great victory she feels is when parents retake their decisions. Therefore, we should always promote our level of orders, and then we can tolerate a bit when she touches our sacrifices.
On a second hand, one may argue from the far beginning with the concept, this due to his belief in free, open-minded life with no strictness in between, this is because freedom comes along with thriving in one way- Relatively applicable to young girls.
Freedom is innate in human being, and that what she keeps in her mind. Actually, her clothes, food, interests, peers and general lifestyle should not be controlled .she have to feel that everything is within her reach. Then what?

A kind of mutually trust between both sides occurs. As a result, tolerance, alertness and kind of high self-esteem the girl starts to keep.
This an intractable argue since ages That we cannot decide anything with it, but at least we can reconsider certain points and keep in mind, the time and lifestyle have changed a lot and will keep changing once we are alive.