hey everyone
so college decisions have all piled up and now im feeling kind of stuck. Of the schools I’ve been accepted to, I’m considering Tufts, Wesleyan, Wellesley, Berkeley, and Middlebury. Obviously these schools are all really different, and I would love if someone can give some input on the differences in social life in these schools. I’m worried that with Wellesley it’ll be really difficult to party without going to Boston and honestly I don’t really want to have to travel 1/2 hour to have a social life. On the flip side, I feel like at Middlebury I’d feel really isolated as I’ve been living in a city the past five or so years. With Berkeley I’m worried that it might be too big. (I’m rambling, ik - bear with me). Tbh i’m not really worried about academics - I feel like i could be academically successful at any of these schools and the quality of education at all of them is obviously great so I’m really trying to figure out where I would be happiest. I do like to party - not all the time and not really hard or anything but I definitely don’t want to be at a school where there is no drinking culture. I also really want to avoid the whole high school popularity crap and i feel like that might be more prevalent at a smaller school. Also, and this is probably my biggest concern, is dating/hook up scene for non-straight folk. i’m a gay female and im not really like an active member of the community (?) but i really really want to be somewhere where i can meet others ya feel?
I’ve also been waitlisted at Northwestern, UChicago, Dartmouth, Amherst and Barnard - I’m wondering where out of these schools it might be easiest to get off the waitlist/where might be a good fit.
sorry if this makes no sense - i’m typing frantically. lmk if anything needs clarifying or you want more info, but i would really appreciate ANY input! thanks!
Berkeley, especially since you are gay.
You will have both a more liberating as well as academically challenging time there than at any small college.
thanks!
Forget about Dartmouth, you would hate it- too much partying and probably the worst of the lot for a gay female. (Although I’m sure there are some and they suffer through it just fine).
As for waitlist, you should focus on Barnard. Lots of opportunity to party and also lots of girls, many of them looking for other girls. No idea how difficult it is to get off the WL there.
As for your admits, I think you should really focus on Wesleyan. Strong LGBT* culture, certainly it’s fair share of socializing and while not a great location, close-ish to NYC.
You should also seriously consider Tufts- Somerville/Davis Square is a pretty fun area and you can easily get in to Boston. I do not think of it as specifically LGBT* friendly but it is pretty liberal so it’s probably not like Smith but also pretty easy to be yourself.
I would say Middlebury does not sound like a good fit, and Cal is very large and definitely has a big school feel
I don’t know much about Wellesley but I just have this feeling that it’s not the school for you. I highly doubt there is a lot of going into Boston to socialize but I could be wrong. What partying does take place happens on campus I’m guessing.
Best thing to do is to post on each school’s forum- you will get people making their best case for why you can find what you’re looking for at their school. Or maybe not, which should help also.
thanks that’s helpful
My D reports of a robust, diverse, accepting community at Tufts. Sort of a Goldilocks school in terms of social stuff—not too much, not too little. A niche for everybody. And location that’s hard to match with Davis Square/Somerville, Cambridge, Boston…
thanks 
at this point it’s really between tufts, wellesley and cal, so i really appreciate the input!
From the waitlist, consider Amherst. My D attends Mount Holyoke and the girls do to Amherst for parties. There is also a HUGE population of lesbians in the area, because Smith and Mount Holyoke are there… there’s a free bus that connects all the 5 colleges in the area and people intermingle a lot. Plus Northampton is just a very gay-friendly town.
I also agree Wellesley is not the place for you. So: Cal or Tufts. Which coast do you prefer?
I mean let’s be real, @staceyneil (!) acceptance off the WL is not very common. Although I just looked at Amherst and Barnard and both are in the 40’s last year, so definitely worth keeping in mind. Not sure Amherst is quite right though, I think of it as a little more like Dartmouth.
My D will be at Tufts this fall so I gotta represent. And what lesbian could resist this description of the local Diesel Cafe?
@ormdad Yeah I was more talking about the Northampton environment and closeness of Smith and MoHo. I agree Amherst is more like Dartmouth if taken by itself. But she asked “where can I meet girls” and she’d meet lots in that area. I also agree that getting off the waitlist is unlikely… but should it happen, she might consider Amherst.
where do you live? from what you said, Tufts Wesleyan and Wellesley are all good choices but Berkeley is as good as all of those, with great academics, social life, balance, and in the SUN with direct access to SF, one of the best dynamic and progressive cities out there. Have you visited?
thanks @ormdad and @staceyneil. @princetongal i haven’t yet but i’m going to! i’m concerned with berkeley’s size as i’m coming from a pretty small high school but it seems amazing otherwise. anyone know which wait list might be easiest to get off? i know it’s pretty much a crap shoot, but what about nu or chicago?
I checked out Berkeley and I was shocked at how “small” it felt - it wasn’t that different from most medium sized schools. The campus itself is fairly compact and lots of people seemed to know each other while I was on the tour. And so pretty - DEFINITELY visit!
It is really impossible to know where anyone is on the wait list or how deep the school will go. I went to grad school in Chicago and definitely like the vibe at NU over UChi (which seemed pretty wound-up).
You realize you don’t have to choose just one waitlist to stay on, right? Just stay on all of them and see what happens. Odds are slim you will get off of any of them, of course. Stay on any you think you might like to go to, but in the mean time choose one of your other remaining GREAT options (!!!) and fall in love with it. Good luck!
^^what @staceyneil said.
Also: Cal is magical. Visit if you can.
thanks to all
Go to UCB on a stipend, for grad school
Accept all the wait lists, and choose one school you really like to deposit at on May first.