I need help with my common app essay as an international student (Review and feedback)

I’m an international student with almost no clue on how to write a good essay. After watching some videos I wrote one that I think isn’t that bad and I need someone to review it please.

I plan to apply to: Amhrest College, Bowdoin College, Pomona College, Richmond University, Duke university and Brown University

Essay topic.

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

If possible it would be better for me to have it reviewed by november 30. I need to apply to Richmond by 1st of december to get a scholarship. Thanks in advance!

Please follow the instructions as outlined below and post your request in the Essay Feedback section.

https://talk.collegeconfidential.com/t/follow-these-instructions-to-get-essay-help/3640959/