<p>A fine young man from my d’s class received a full-ride, prestigious scholarship to a respected private college in our city. When congratulated, his mom very modestly said, “We’re very blessed.” I don’t know if that fits with your values, but I thought it was a gracious response.</p>
<p>Bookiemom:
That is a gracious answer. But it does not seem that his achievement was being challenged and undermined by disappointed interlocutors.</p>
<p>But his achievements were being challenged: he’s out-of-state, a boy, a legacy, so that’s the reason he was accepted, not for his own merits. </p>
<p>I just think “we’re very blessed” is a true Miss Manners sort of response to most of the comments received by the OP, and it’s more gracious and polite than saying “we’re very proud of him.”</p>
<p>bookiemom:</p>
<p>Why is “we’re very proud of him” less gracious and polite than “we’re very blessed”?</p>
<p>I’d say they were equally polite - but I’m curious why you think they are different.</p>
<p>Bookiemom:</p>
<p>Thanks for the clarification. I had not gotten all these details from your post 21.
I also don’t think that “we’re very blessed” is more polite than “we’re very proud.”
In one way, it might underline the idea that the boy got in through divine providence rather than on his own merits, working for him through giving OOS, legacy, male status. Is that what meant to be converyed?</p>
<p>We haven’t had any direct comments that were snide - in fact people who said something to us were very enthusiastic. However - we know that some nasty comments have been made on Facebook about our child. Unfortunately, most of her friends did not get into their first or second choice of schools. I think some of them feel that our daughter shouldn’t have applied to so many schools (9) - but so many were highly selective and the chances were pretty slim that she would get in. Our child is not conceited or full or herself. In fact, she is very humble. She is really hurt by the comments and is finding these last weeks of school pretty painful. BTW - our comment to most people is that we feel she was so lucky to have been accepted because we know many worthy kids are turned down.</p>
<p>I kind of like the divine providence aspect. Sort of puts it into someone else’s hands and shuts everyone up.</p>
<p>Actually the parents and friends of my son in his graduating class have been very gracious and supportive of each other. The comments I’ve received have been from people who have much younger children (not even considering college yet- 5 to 15 age range). They are getting their information from other friends of theirs, or from their own experiences, 20 to 30 years ago. Some of the worst are relatives. :eek:</p>
<p>Re the “we’re very blessed” remark: I didn’t mean to suggest that there is anything wrong with saying “we’re very proud of S,” just that I thought that this was such a nice alternative. The “very blessed” comment was said so sincerely by this mom, and it kind of had the air about it that some of these things are out of our (parents’) hands, and not just in a sense of divine providence. There is an element of luck, chance, or divine providence in some aspects of college admissions, or in this case, in a great scholarship program. </p>
<p>To me, saying “we’re very blessed” is just a different slant as a response. I have remembered the remark from four years ago, and at the time I walked away thinking what a gracious and modest woman this was (as is her son).</p>
<p>These are the people who have no filter - they just have to say everything that comes into their head. Keep in mind that they are really not talking to you, but to themselves. Whereas I love NJres’s answer (that was great), I’d likely follow suit with JHS, although if it were someone really obnoxious and they kept at it, who knows! ;)</p>