I Need Parential Advice With My New Job

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Hello, I haven’t parents, so will someone be so kind as to indulge me with some advice? </p>

<p>Some background:</p>

<p>I study at University very hard, because I have a full academic scholarship and I also do a ton of tutoring for extra money all throughout my city. I also have a little part time job at a UPS store. </p>

<p>Recently, I obtained a job at a retail establishment as a non seasonal employee. This job is very, very similar to one I had in the past except that the working environment is not conducive towards all too very much. </p>

<p>For example, everyone who works until close never has any idea as to when they get off work at all. No one told me that at all the different interviews or anything. It is very hard to figure out what to do about that and when I asked about it, I was told that never knowing when you get off work is just the norm. Seems odd, eh?</p>

<p>Also, I am one of the few ladies working in my department and (from what I can gather) things have been like that for years. I have been insulted and spoken to like an idiot by the men who work in my department the entire time I have worked at this particular retail establishment. I have been told repeatedly that no one likes for a lady to work in my department and that I will be run out. </p>

<p>Lastly, I was hired to work in the Electronics area. I have worked Electronics as well as everything pertaining to Photos and Cameras at another retail establishment for years (but, I moved to go to University and all quite far away). However, at this particular retail establishment, I have to work: the Electronics, Toys, Luggage, Auto, Hardware, and Sporting Goods sections. Therefore, I have been hired to work (no fooling) six different areas of this establishment non stop. When I am not trying to wait on customers, I am running about with excess inventory and the like for these six different areas of this place. And, when I am working non stop and pushing myself really hard to do the best I can, I have various male co- workers speaking to me in a overtly sexist (not sexual, though), patronizing, and downright insulting manner the whole time I am working. Please keep in mind that I am working non stop the whole time I am being insulted, it is not like I am sitting about or anything.</p>

<p>So, I live where there is one of the worse unemployment rates in the entire nation. It took me since June to obtain this job. Since June, I have been applying for evening time work everywhere. But, I do not think I can do this job at all. It is weird because I am a very tall and strong lady, but the overall work environment as well as working six different areas of this place is killing me. </p>

<p>Does anyone have any advice?</p>

2

<p>Is there a supervisor that you can consult, or is the supervisor part of the problem? The fact that you are in a high-unemployment area makes it more difficult to address if you need the income.</p>

3

<p>“Does anyone have any advice?”</p>

<p>Use it as a reminder everyday of why you are going to college. Just think how life would be if that job is what you had to look forward to. Just think of how when you get your degree and move into your career this will be a fond memmory.</p>

4

<p>Is there a College or a University anywhere close to where you live? Any chance you could seek a job at the College or University? There’s a double bonus in working at a Univ. You will get a job + free tuition.</p>

<p>Generally speaking, in institutions of higher learning, you will also find an atmosphere that is conducive to positive thinking, personal enhancement, enthusiasm, and respect.</p>

5

<p>Ooops! Sorry I didn’t read your message well. You already are at a school.
How about being a Resident Advisor? Doesn’t that pay well?</p>

6

<p>What puzzles me is when you say you were “hired to work electronics department” but now are assigned to 6 different departments. Is that true of the male employees, too, or are they confined to a single department.</p>

<p>It probably depends on the contract you signed. Does it say you work for X department, or X store. If it’s to work X store, then it doesn’t matter that at a previous job you only did X department. My guess is you have memories about what was discussed at the employment interview, but I think a lawyer should make sure I’m right to suggest this advice, here goes: regardless of what was said at the interview, what’s written in the signed contract governs your rights now. (Lawyers, please jump in; i know I’m over my head here).</p>

<p>I’m wondering if you can ask to see a “job description.” That might make it more clear.</p>

<p>If the workers sound condescending or sexist, that’s not against the law but discriminating against you (like you’re the only one covering 6 departments and they have identical job descriptions yet only cover one department) is the kind of thing you could take to an Office of Employment Equality in your state. A phone conversation with someone in that state office might help you understand if this is actually discrimination or just the tough knocks of the workplace that you are running to 6 places at once.</p>

<p>In terms of how everyone talks to you, it’s rude what they are doing, but unless it’s actually illegal (like a differential job assignment based on gender, or sexual harrassment) my practical advice is to try to use a bit of humor or at least non-reaction. You are new there and they are taking a measure of you. If you get excited or upset, they’ll know and it won’t help you. By contrast, if you can act non-plussed, calm, slightly tough, unruffled, and refuse to take the bait and react to their stupid sexist remarks, they’ll figure out there’s no fun in bullying you. Show no anxiety or fear; don’t be frantic to do the greatest job, just do the job.</p>

<p>Lots of these sexist remarks are ways some guys have of talking about all women, not you in particular. It’s very unproductive to the workplace, but they don’t care much because they don’t get any profits here, just a paycheck. </p>

<p>If you can talk it over with a supervisor, that’s often the best advice. Say that you are new and you could be a lot more productive if they guys would just stop “riding” you all the time; give a specific example (quote somebody). Since it sounds like a lot of people and not just one individual, it might be just as well not to name names, but say, “this is typical of the kind of comments I hear throughout my working evening.” Ask if the supervisor could intervene enough to tell the guys to back off or take it down a notch. That’s the best you can hope for.</p>

<p>Work is tough, and the reason you get paid is because nobody will come in and do what you do as a volunteer. Sometimes I got through tough jobs simply by visualizing my paycheck as I worked. The fact that you get paid takes the sting out of a lot of bad conditions.</p>

<p>I’m sorry it is that rough. Do you have time to keep looking elsewhere? If not, it might actually settle down after you’re there about a month. </p>

<p>Is there another woman anywhere in the store who seems to have worked there a long time? She might be able to tell you “that guy’s a jerk and everybody knows it” which might make you feel slightly better. She might even stand up for you behind your back, if she’s been there longer than the younger guys. </p>

<p>Sometimes the ones who are driving you craziest now won’t even be there in a few months, although some will be there forever.</p>

<p>In that kind of job, try to wear “emotional earplugs.” Do your job, tend to the customers, rack the merchandise, but don’t expect the kind of justice and respect you experience in the classroom. Opie’s right…this is partly why you go to college. Those guys will be doing this until they die, but you don’t have to.</p>

<p>You have my admiration (from a former…waitress, secretary, etc. and now
a proud teacher and mother). Life does improve, so take heart. Cyber-hugs, too; you’re obviously a hard working gal.</p>

7

<p>Second the vote for emotional earplugs. My sibling has a job like this. She hums to herself. (Silently).</p>

8

<p>I agree with everyone above. You are working with insecure pigs. I wish I had a dime for every dunce I’ve encountered in the electronics dept. of big box stores. Ego >>> knowledge. Keep looking for something better and use those earplugs! And I’ll remember to ask for a lady to wait on me the next time I’m forced to ask for help at one of those stores.</p>

9

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<p>Well now all the paperwork pertaining to my being hired directly refers to the Electronics Department. However, I was told (verbally) that I also have to consistently work these six other areas as well. And, I was told that right after my little day of training. The thing is that I stick out at this job because of my height and all (which works great with regards to customer service and my superiors being able to see what I am doing rather easily), but most especially because of my gender as well as the manner in which I am being spoke to. </p>

<p>As near as I can tell from the scheduling, this particular establishment is just trying to save money with having me work all of these different departments. All other ladies work with the clothing. </p>

<p>I am very thankful of learning about emotional earplugs. That is brilliant. I have already had to assert myself via vis these walkie talkies everyone has to carry, but the emotional earplugs sounds like a great idea. </p>

<p>From what I can gather, the main person who kinda like supervises these areas is on vacation. So, I have to wait a while to speak with someone. I am somewhat fearful because I learned online that one who is at the bottom of the Totem Pole (if you will) complains, winds up having their hours cut like the dickens. </p>

<p>So, I am going to try the emotional earplugs and I thank you all for your advice.</p>

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<p>One thing to also keep in mind is this is a great training ground. How can that be??? You are learning first hand how some co workers can be. No matter the level of education, crass behavor can happen. Learning to deal with it now will help you later. You’ll what you’ll tolerate and what you won’t. </p>

<p>Think of it as a science study on the work place and you are the observing sciencist. </p>

<p>But one thing I am noticing is your kind of whining a bit unnecessarily aren’t you. You get paid the same no matter if you work in the electronics department or the kitchenwares… it’s a minimal pay job and you are low man (or woman) on the totem pole. They will place you where they need you. You can either complain about it or consider it multitasking. Which would sound better on your resume? The ability to multitask or I can only do what I was hired for? This is just something you do to get through college, that’s all.</p>

11

<p>This sounds like a great college lesson to me, and you’re not even paying tuition! This is a terrific learning experience about sales, customers, how management treats staff, and it’s a real pain in the rear, too. This is why you go to college. You develop an awareness, book learning, life experiences, and much more so you can put it all together and get the career of your choice. Maybe someday you’ll choose management, and boss around those who didn’t go to college. Seriously, many entry jobs are like this. It may be new to you, but I’m sure all the adults here have “seen it, done it”. Do your best while you’re there, but know that if you succeed in college you’ll have the opportunity for a rewarding career.</p>

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<p>I know from my 3 kids that it’s nuts to suggest extrra reading when someone’s in college, but when you find yourself with some spare time (haha), maybe between terms or next summer, you might enjoy reading things by smart women who’ve written about their experiences in the retail workforce. It can give you perspective and a wider lens to consider your current experience.</p>

<p>Two authors come to mind. First: Barbara Ehrenreich, author of “Nickel and Dimed.”
She’s some kind of professor who disguised herself as a minimum wage worker, in order to write about it. By the end of the year, she was living in a trailer, had been a waitress and abused by many bosses and customers, went from week to week on a sketchy income. She discovered how it made her think more short-term, so that’s a bit like your coworkers there. They can’t get that long-range view that a college education encourages. It made her crrrazy, and very fast she lost perspective. The coworkers are like this, but all the time, living from paycheck to paycheck.</p>

<p>The other one is a columnist from the Cleveland Plain-Dealer (newspaper) named Connie Schultz. She was, until recently, also the wife of a senator from Ohio, so her book is called, “And His Lovely Wife.” I presume she was often introduced that way at meetings, so she’s got that sense of humor.
Anyway, google her up to see if her articles are online, or perhaps seek out the book (I’ve not read it). When I heard her speak at a college graduation, she described her upbringing as a first-generation college student. Her mom worked as a nurse’s aide to afford her education, and she saw the kind of treatment (and those calloused hands!). Her own work as a journalist is devoted to telling the stories of people who work minimum wage jobs yet long for better. She is inspiring, because her approach to college education is to NEVER FORGET what this feels like, and to remain appreciative of the “invisible” workers in our culture even after you get your own fine education.</p>

<p>And for a funny view of working in an electronics store, rent the movie, “The 40-Year Old Virgin” starring Steve Carrell (unsure of spelling). You’ll recognize some coworkers, I bet! It’s got a cute love-story, too. He works at a place like “Best Buy” in electronics, and his coworkers want him to find true love. </p>

<p>That doesn’t help the immediate problem but it’s just another way to get wisdom from a difficult experience. </p>

<p>Can you visit the campus employment center and seek something better for Spring or next year? Tell an employment counselor what you’re experiencing now and that you’ll do your best there, but could she help you prepare for something a bit better next year? Perhaps she can help you write a resume or look at other recruitment options that come listed in the coming season or next summer.</p>

<p>Sorry to write so long. I do that when I’m tired. Don’t copy that. Concise is much better. </p>

<p>Best wishes and continued support. Consider Opie’s feedback too, not to whine. It’s okay to vent here, but very defeating in the workplace. It’s okay to be “dishonest” and when someone says, “how are you today,” just say, “Fine, I’m surviving!” If I think they have the vocabulary, sometimes I crack people up with, “My new motto: To survive is to triumph.” </p>

<p>Everyone has it rough (in ways you can hardly imagine, with disabled children at home and other stressors not on your landscape, thankfully). Everyone. So they appreciate people who suck it up enough to keep up morale by saying, “Nice day” or “Rain again; great for ducks.” Dumb stuff but nobody cares, it just keeps up morale to small talk. A little workplace fake cheer doesn’t hurt and can help you as much as those “emotional earplugs.” You might enjoy both. WHen you feel a bit of ease, try a little happy-talk, cheerful talk, weather-talk… and see if you make a few friends where there were enemies before. They might be jealous because you go to college, so see if you can build bridges with things all humans have in common, like the weather. If you see someone has a picture of their kid on a bulletin board, ask them about the kid. You might just need to be perceived as a team-player and less of a solo situation.</p>

<p>Don’t let the height bother you, if you can help it. It can become a positive tool especially if you need to gain some mutual respect among men. Can you carry yourself with pride and comfort? I wish I were tall sometimes, although I know it can be discomforting for women tired of standing out. Use it as a “plus” if you can; be proud. </p>

<p>Sometimes I paste on a smile at work. It’s crazy. People comment on it. Who smiles anymore? Let them wonder why…</p>

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<p>You have to careful as how far to push the sexist claims. Do you have and are you a member of the union? If so go to the union rep for advice first. </p>

<p>I remember my daughter had a job before she started college doing phone work. She sat in a cubicle all day and her complaint was that everyone was smoking and the environment was unhealthy. She quit the job when an old boyfriend was placed next to her.Next she went to the local State Unemployment Office to look for a new job in their listings. The counsellor said she had a case to collect unemployment benefits because of the unhelathy conditions at her last job. So she applied for these benefits and the former employer fought her tooth and nail. She did receive a paultry amount weekly, until she would find a new job, but the former employer fought her to receive these benefits and won. </p>

<p>Filling any kid of descrimination suit should be a last resort only after all effort has been made to resolve the problem. Even then the employer may and probably will fight because if one case goes, so may the entire ship. </p>

<p>I hope you can work it all out.</p>

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<p>Other times, a phone call to the state Equal Employment Opportunity people (or the federal government under the US Dept Civil Rights) can help a young person put things into perspective with a simple free phone call to get advice. It doesn’t always turn into a lawsuit. And they’ll be the first ones to tell you if it sounds like discrimination or just “hard knocks of the workplace” stuff that all employees face.</p>

<p>One of the hardest things for young people to do is put their own experiences into a wider perspective.</p>

<p>Lawsuits might be the “last resort” like we say surgery is the “last resort” after all kinds of medicine and therapy have been tried. But I’ve seen plenty of times where the mere mention of the agency phoning in to inquire causes the employer to ADDRESS and FIX the situation promptly. As such, maybe it should be more of a first resort, or at least an early resort, rather than suffering endlessly at a discriminatory job. I’m not saying her job is gender discrimination; I really don’t have enough info to know, nor does she. </p>

<p>But when the government agency simply contacts an employer, that can be the kick-in-the-pants needed to make an otherwise clueless employer find out what’s going on out there on the floor and take care of things so employees can work under full protection of the laws of the land. The top employer doesn’t always know how mid-level management is behaving towards those bottom-level workers. </p>

<p>I was interested in reading of your D’s experience, and sorry it went so rough for her!
And that they even clawed back her unemployment benefits?! Bad stuff.</p>

<p>But even so, there’s no harm in anyone at a job making a phone call to a government agency that looks out for the rights of the common person, in fair housing, employment and other essential human needs. I think it’s just good citizenship to advise young people, who are trying to figure things out, where to go for informed opinions on workplace law, simply to inquire. </p>

<p>A lot of these “big box” retail stores are not unionized, but if they happen to be then certainly the union is another good place to inquire.</p>

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<p>FWIW - I worked in a retail establishment during my college years. Next to waitressing it was one of the worst jobs I ever had. As has been stated before - this is really a great training ground.</p>

<p>Other than dealing with ignorant co-workers, I hated the slow times - when I had to find stuff to do to look busy, like dusting shelves and rearranging things. Boring - boring - boring! Working multiple departments may actually be a blessing in disguise - your time will surely fly by fast. </p>

<p>Practice good customer service skills - give all your attention to the immediate customer. Anyone who approaches you for help when you are busy - politely let them know that you will be available when you finish. Also let them now how many people are before them in your queue. They will: 1) Wait - if their purchase is important 2) Disappear and come back when you are not busy; 3) Take their business elsewhere - this is not your problem. It’s the establishment;s problem for being understaffed.</p>

<p>So my advice is - concentrate on the customers and ignore the co-workers. Also - stay away from lawsuits, even if they are deserved. This will follow you the rest of your life - no matter how justified it might be, noone in the future wants to hire someone who is sue-happy. Better to walk away and move on to other, more positive places. My .02 cents.</p>

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<p>If an individual sues for “wrongful dismissal” that’s a civil suit and I can see the advice above. If, however, a government agency sues on your behalf, that’s very different.</p>

<p>If a union, the ACLU, or an Office of Employment Equity files a grievance or sues on your behalf, THEY are the plaintiff and you’re just a witness.
And to phone someone up and just ask for their advice isn’t even close to filing suit, which THEY would decide to do (not you) if they feel there’s a strong enough case to warrant their resources (they don’t always). </p>

<p>These kinds of suits aren’t worth devoting your young life to, or your mental health…but it is someone else’s job to pursue justice. Without these agencies, what keeps the workforce from being exploited without limit? </p>

<p>Just moving on is sometimes good personal advice, but I want to keep it on the discussion table that there are laws and agencies set up to protect the little guy. You only mess up one employer recommendation and by the time it comes up again, you’re generally working somewhere else as these cases take years. They can generate back-pay long after you’ve quit in disgust, but more importantly they teach the employer not to abuse the next person. </p>

<p>WIth google and all, I could see the concern for future reputation. But I hate to warn kids off of pursuing what is legally their right to explore.</p>

<p>In general, good advice for civil suits (the kind where you are the plaintiff) is to sue if the lawyer thinks you might win and there’s enough money to win to warrant all your time and trouble to pursue the case. But don’t sue for emotional revenge. If you were deprived of the right to earn a full living during those years, or were caused suffering, then you are owed money, and that’s what civil suits are for, to get back your money, but not to “get even” emotionally with a bad old boss.</p>

<p>I know why you’d advise people not to be “sue happy” but there could be times in one’s life when a suit is necessary. And probably NOT in this OP’s case, I’ll add. I think this OP just asked for and needed some good parental-style advice on surviving a tough job. But I wanted young people to hold in their minds that sometimes an employer can try to ruin you and a civil suit is the only way to fight back for your career and reputation. See the movie “Philadelphia” as a perfect example (the man who was wrongfully fired from his law firm because he had AIDS and the others were homophobic). Just tuck away the lesson, OP, I don’t mean you should be looking to sue this lame-o outfit; not worth your trouble. A phone call to a government agency to understand better? That I stand by my advice might be illuminating, if you choose to ask them their perspective.</p>