<p>I am currently an undergraduate student, year 3, in Chemical Engineering in a Singapore University. The university is ranked 25th in Chemical Engineering. I got into the university through the programme through scholarship for only four students. I was a top student in my high school, not only do I have all As grades but I also compete in Math, Chemistry and Physics competitions and Olympiads. I also joined an international research competition and won second prize. My SAT score was 2200, GPA of 3.9/4, TOEFL of 101, IELTS of 8/9, one research paper on fractal dimension and dozens of medals and awards.
However, on my last few months as senior high school, my parents went on divorce and it has great effect on me. I postponed my application to top universities like MIT, Harvard and Stanford because my mom cannot at all support me and she wants me near. My friends, who are in the same school and have lower credential than I am, got in. I was very devastated as everyone was expecting me to be at a top university. Before my parents divorce, I have sent out my application to Singapore which leads us to me studying here with scholarship.
On my freshman year, away from home and struck by my parent’s fresh separation. I was not able to focus on my studies and I experienced something that I cannot explain – I was scared of numbers, I see them dancing on my paper. I study hard and my friends would even consult me because I understand and apply the concepts well. But during examinations, the numbers would dance on my paper, my hands would tremble and I cannot answer questions. I have never failed an exam, but I got Cs and Ds. After freshmen year, I took 3 months to heal myself by calming myself, studying and relearning my study skills. I never told my mom as she has my four siblings to worry about and everyone expected me to always be cool and smart.
Things got better before year however on the start of the school year, my brother passed away. My recover was smothered as quickly as a snap and I was back to zero. I am very functional during classes, inspired and smart but when it comes to quizzes and exams, numbers would dance and I am screwed. I remember one instance when I was middle of an exam where I know how to do the questions but my hands tremble and I cannot write. I ran off to the bathroom crying. After exams, I would tell myself how to do the questions and just be so frustrated. Again, I did not fail and was getting Cs and Bs.
By year 3, I decided to consult a psychiatrist. It was late I know because I spent two years trying to figure myself out on my own. It is just my personality to be independent and solve things on my own the best I could do before consulting. Perhaps things would have been better if I came to the doctor early.
The doctor told me that I developed a general anxiety disorder because of my parent’s separation, my brother’s death and my strong grip and expectations on myself. I went on therapy sessions which helped me a lot. I have been out of my alpha mode in studies so I had to cope on a lot of matters. My grade was not all As but it increased by 1.0 point.
Although I have had a problem with numbers and exams, which are necessary in an engineering degree. I tried as much as possible to lift my credential in the past three years. My GPA of 2.8/4 is really low but I made efforts that are as follows:
Currently, I am working as intern at Roche pharmaceutical, fifth largest pharmaceutical in the world. I am having a study on the reliability and optimisation of some off-line equipment that are used to test drug and production quality. I have also gained proficiency in Pi, a real time plant design software, and JMP, a statistical tool.
I am also in Singapore-MIT alliance research team under a project that aims to create a portable NMR to detect malaria. It is a prestigious and big research of SMART and will be publishing a paper in Nature Medicine this November. From that I have implemented my knowledge on biology, C programming, statistical analysis, chemistry and material.
I am aiming to publish a paper on grapheme materials and on the same malaria topic by early next year.
I have made a prototype design of a thermoelectric device which was a finalist in James Dyson competition.
I am currently teaching two students about Freshmen Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Biology to earn extra money AND to refresh my knowledge of the concepts.
I have been to top 10 of a National Entrepreneurship competition. The concept was to provide free medical equipment to poor communities.
I have won second place in Singapore Entrepreneurship competition where we provided a business solution to a company.
I have been a head of the International committee of my country in school where I gained social skills and I have also done some management work in my clubs.
I have also organized the largest environmental event in my school where research institutions and companies came down to promote environmentalism and green energy.</p>
<p>I am passionate in medicine as my dad is a doctor and my mom has a pharmacy so I was raised loving and discovering medicine. I enjoy reading news on medicine and health. At the same time, I feel alive when being independent and leading people. I feel fired up in business and entrepreneurship fields. Finally, I am falling in love with chemical engineering and I see great potential and passion to pursue green energy.</p>
<p>I want to have post graduate education as I believe i am not skilled enough but my problem is that I do not have good GPA for my past three years because of personal issues.</p>
<p>I believe in the pursuit of science and most of all, I want to continue learning.</p>
<p>Please help me.</p>