I really need some advice.

Parent Cafe
1

<p>There are certain things that I can’t go to my friends for.</p>

<p>My main girlfriend in HS moved away to another state my Senior year. We maintained contact and all that, we remained friends. She apparently had a really rough time up there and didn’t do nearly as well as she was doing down here. She graduated but didn’t get the IB diploma which she was on track to get had she stayed here. She started hanging around with unsuccessful people (excessive drug users, losers in general) which she never did before.</p>

<p>Anyway she graduated and her parents basically cut her off (something very opposite of what I’m used to…) and she decided to move back down here for school.</p>

<p>Only problem is she never enrolled in school, she’s just been working part time awful jobs trying to make ends meet. We started dating again when she first got here and it was great, but it has gotten worse and frankly, now I’m just scared.</p>

<p>She has many mental problems. She’s on anti-depression meds. However, she doesn’t make enough at her job to keep up the prescription. As of now she’s gone 3 weeks without them and she’s just very depressed. Last night she said some things that I know I could have her baker acted for. I know she needs more help that I can giver her. I feel like a complete failure as a boyfriend. I am constantly stressed worrying about her and my grades have suffered markedly for it. I dropped my first class ever this semester. I’m getting C’s in 2 of my classes and an A in another. This is a huge difference for someone who always gets A’s and few B’s.</p>

<p>I know she needs more help than I can give her. I feel like I have to fill the role of boyfriend, parents, and friends since they all abandoned her. She needs more medications than she can afford and she definitely needs more counseling than she can pay for. She went to the doctor earlier this week and the doctor wasn’t even sure what some of the physical problems wrong with her were and referred her to a specialist to get an MRI.</p>

<p>I’m 19. She’s 18. This is too much. She needs family support, but they are pulling the “You’re 18, you deal with it,” card. I can’t have this negatively affecting me like this. I’m feeling the worst I ever have, I’m the least healthy I’ve ever been, and I don’t even know where to start.</p>

<p>I think she might need to be baker acted (or taken involuntary if that’s just a Florida term). The only thing stopping me is that she already has plane tickets up to WV to see her dad over thanksgiving and I think that will help out a lot. She needs the pills immediately so I’m just going to get them for her (she might not take the money though, she doesn’t like not paying it for herself). Then once she gets back really having a serious sit down and getting things figured out. </p>

<p>Please give me advice. I am hopeless. I’ve never been depressed before, but I’m getting sucked into this. Help, please…</p>

2

<p>This is too big for one 19 year old to handle. Talk to your parents. Call her parents. Responsible adults need to know that you are afraid for her safety and why. She may be upset with you at first, but this is the responsible and loving thing to do.</p>

3

<p>My suggestion is that you call her parents and let them know what’s going on. It’s particularly important for you to tell her dad since she’s planning on visiting him this weekend. Considering the major mental health problems she’s having, her parents also may reimburse you for her medication. They also may be able to get her into the treatment that she appears to need. </p>

<p>It is wonderful that you are trying to help her, but the help she needs is far more than you can provide. You need to get some support for yourself: Please see a counselor at your school.</p>

<p>If your friend is threatening to kill herself, you must Baker Act her or get her to commit herself to a mental institution. Don’t assume that just because she has tickets to leave town this weekend, she’ll be fine. If she’s suicidal, those tickets won’t matter to her.</p>

<p>I have a close friend who is a social worker who got help for herself after a friend threatened to Baker Act her. After seeing a psychiatrist, my friend learned that she is bi-polar, and has been on medication since. She is grateful to her friend for helping her, and she adheres to her medication regimen because she definitely doesn’t want to be involuntarily committed.</p>

<p>A friend of mine Baker Acted her 23-year-old daughter a couple of years ago. The daughter was furious at her for doing so. However, it ended up that the D had a benign brain tumor that was causing her behavior problems. After the tumor was removed, her behavior normalized, and she and her mother reconciled. If she hadn’t been Baker Acted , she may have killed herself.</p>

<p>Your friend also needs to see a doctor about the medication. If she has been off it for a while, it may be unwise – even dangerous – for her to start taking again the dosage she was taking before. She may have to work up to that dosage.</p>

4

<p>Another example of why – if she’s threatening suicide – you need to inform the authorities:</p>

<p>"
Abraham Biggs Jr., 19, of Pembroke Pines, Fla., died Wednesday after posting messages online about his plan to kill himself, said Wendy Crane, an investigator with the Broward County medical examiner’s office.</p>

<p>“He was blogging between 3 and 4 a.m. on the 19th, Wednesday, at which time he inserted a link in the blog to a live webcam and posted a suicide note and then was seen lying down on the bed,” Crane told FOXNews.com.</p>

<p>Bloggers then spent the next 12 hours trying to figure out whether to call authorities, according to Crane. Biggs was already dead when Pembroke Pines police officers arrived about 3:30 p.m.</p>

<p>“Throughout the day, the bloggers were going back and forth: ‘He doesn’t look like he’s breathing’; ‘Should we call the police?’; ‘Well, where is he?’; ‘We don’t know,’” Crane said. “Finally somebody notified a monitor, who got his information from the sign-up, and then they contacted the local authorities.”
[FOXNews.com</a> - Authorities: Florida Teen Commits Suicide Before Live Webcam Audience - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News](<a href=“http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,455945,00.html]FOXNews.com”>http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,455945,00.html)</p>