From: [redacted]
Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 11:01 AM</p>
<p>To: [friends]</p>
<p>Subject: Match Nightmare</p>
<p>So I winked at this guy on match.com. Should have known better considering his screen name was “IvyLeagueAlum.”</p>
<p>He responds with the following email…</p>
<p>I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in the middle of the Buckhead nightlife district. Do you ever come to this area of town to shop/go out/visit/explore?
I went to an Ivy League school - the University of Pennsylvania - for my undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate degree in management (Wharton School of Business). Where did you go to school?</p>
<p>What activities do you currently participate in to stay in shape? I work out 4 times a week at LA Fitness. Do you exercise regularly? I am 6 feet tall, 185 pounds - what about yourself? I am truly sorry if that sounds rude, impolite or even downright crass, but I have been deceived before byinaccurate representations so I prefer someone be upfront and honest on initial contact…</p>
<p>I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for Limited Brands (Bath & Body Works, Victoria’s Secret, etc). Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?</p>
<p>Do you have any other recent pictures you care to share? I have many others if you care to see them.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>John
sgnu88 at hot mail</p>
<p>[At this point, Johns latest victim apparently sends a polite No Thanks thru the match system which
sends him the following email: Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we’re just not a good match.
Good luck in your search! Our Portraits didn’t match on: Â. Personality. This was Fitzys reaction to the news:]</p>
<p>I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don’t blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel’s Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren’t any more of those!</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>John