<p>By tomorrow, I will be closer to 50 than to 40. Lately, I have been wanting to show off and get noticed. It is a real struggle for me now.</p>
<p>On one hand, I am typically keeping a low profile and understand my family responsibility. On the other hand, I really want to go get me a sport car and screaming at everyone about my accomplishments. </p>
<p>Thank God there is Internet and forums like this. I could brag to my face is blue and does not really cost me a dime.</p>
<p>Buy a mustang gt with all the toys…</p>
<p>Feh. Go back to the rear of the line. I’m closer to 60 than 50.
And I still don’t want a bleach blonde in a red convertible on the planet Schwartz.</p>
<p>Yeah. Join the crowd. If you check in to Sinner’s Alley you can hear TMI on how women deal with midlife crisis. Can you say Burning Man? Just enjoy it. That’s what the USA gets you. Enough of a safety net that we can afford to have angst:).</p>
<p>And I turned 50 last year BTW so you are just a baby to me…</p>
<p>BTW, Happy Birthday. If I infer correctly.</p>
<p>HAPPY BIRTHDAY, laserbrother!!
Go ahead, indulge in a little mid-life crisis, but don’t forget to HAVE SOME FUN!!! :)</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Definitely go for the car. You’ve been frugal enough. Time’s a wastin’. It’s time for a bit of splurging.</p>
<p>I am so close to 60 I can smell it ;). What better place for a mid-life crisis than Parent Forum? Like you say, nothing you do here can come back to haunt you.</p>
<p>You can have the little red convertible, too (my DH does; I think it’s a midlife rite of passage for all Engineers). But I don’t think it fits with your frugal ways :rolleyes:, unless it’s a convertible VW bug that’s a wee bit rusted out.</p>
<p>that reminds me of a splurge that is frugal
While I have been going to gyms/health clubs for about 30 years off and on, a little over a year ago I decided to stay serious about working out.
So far I have stuck with it. I work out at least 3 times a week and many weeks 5 times. It takes about 2 hours or so but it is relatively inexpensive, they don’t have a pool, or juice bar, it is easy to get to ( I can walk or ride my bike), the people are really friendly, and its great to not only be able to exercise when it is pouring down rain, but when it is too hot outside.</p>
<p>I am turning 50 this fall and as long as I take care of myself, by exercising, and eating and sleeping well, * knock on wood* I will be able to participate in the things I really enjoy, so I don’t feel pressure to go off the deep end and buy a motorcycle ( although I am still thinking about a tattoo) or run off with one of the young trainers at the gym.</p>
<p>I didn’t expect that some of my friends would be threatened by my new body, and tell me I was just having a midlife crisis of my own. But I feel so much better when I exercise ( I have struggled with depression all my life), I breathe better,( I have asthma) and I have more energy not just to do day to day stuff, but physical work around the house and the yard, and Im thinking about joining a sports team. Being able to fit into my younger daughters old clothes ( she is still growing and is now 4inches taller than I am), is just a side benefit ;)</p>
<p>I don’t have the impression that you really deprive yourself of material goods, buying a watch that cost more than $2,000 is something most people wouldn’t even think of, let alone do. But I don’t think spending money is going to make you feel better about yourself. I think you need to find what is * really* important to you, not your family, not your neighbors, and put your energy toward that.</p>
<p>The father of one of son’s classmates last semester bought a red Ferrari --the one with the glass or clear thing over the engine. The son is very happy his father is having a midlife crisis. My son said this student couldn’t wait to go home and play with his father’s new toys!</p>
<p>Unfortunately our son’s dad will have to have his crisis more frugally—maybe a new driver or putter?</p>
<p>a couple BD ago, I did purchase a Lincoln Continental (a 97 model in 2000) and then a Mercedes 560 SEL (a 91 model in 2004) as BD gifts to myself. </p>
<p>I had always wanted to drive a W126 style Benz but can’t really afford those $90K price tag back then. The car was very nice in a the few days I could drive it but most of time it has one small problem or the other. The only good thing came out of that was I learnt how to fix cars.</p>
<p>Ok, well, H and I just downsized one of our 2 SUVs to a Pontiac G6 today! It will be my car, and it is sporty, and frankly it has been years since I have had a sporty car. I have been in minivans/SUVs for nearly 20 years. No, it is not a BMW, and frankly I don’t want the bill for an expensive car. This car is really inexpensive for what it is, and I am looking forward to getting it by the end of this month. BTW, this was not an impulse purchase, but my lease on my last SUV is up.</p>
<p>About four years ago, when DH and I were shopping for a new car, we went in to the Honda showroom where I fell in love with the Honda 2000 convertible sports car. I told my husband I could imagine myself driving that and he encouraged me to get it. As I sat in that car, sitting low to the ground and dreaming about the fun I could have driving it, I knew it wasn’t the best choice for a family car (which is what we needed) as it was only a two-seater. Knowing it was the car I wanted, but not the car I needed, I opened the door and attempted to get out. It was at that moment I realized I could never have that car anyway … how silly I would look asking complete strangers to help me out of my car each time I parked! I bought a Mazda Tribute. :)</p>
<p>SEriously, about that mid-life thing, let some steam out of your engine, some way, some how, without blowing up your nice family life. Go to sports fantasy camp, take up race car driving (I had a client who did this), learn to fly, take up jujitsu, take some exotic trip, sail around the world --something anything. Don’t just stew until a sweet young thing throws you a look and tips your whole sandbox over.</p>
<p>Along with the rest of us, your mortality makes you vulnerable to illogical thoughts. Put a bandaid on that hurt. Get more challenge and excitement into your life. Says me.</p>
<p>My father’s closer to 70 than to 60. He has four kids (2 in college and 2 adults), has grandkids, plays golf, works, travels, keeps in touch with old friends from college, goes to the gym every day, watches sports, debates current events, works on a volunteer committee, plays the piano and guitar, gardens, and overall is active and happy. You have more than two decades until you’re at that point. You are just at the beginning here. Twenty years ago, I wasn’t even born and my oldest brother was in college. Today I’m in college, and my brother is married with two kids living and working many states away.</p>
<p>Of course, looking at the general time frame, it’s entirely possible that my mother was my father’s “mid-life crisis.” :eek:</p>
<p>Just don’t be pompous like Donald Trump! (though I doubt you would be)</p>
<p>I hope that someday, I won’t have to be (or feel the need to be) frugal.</p>
<p>Some of the wealthiest people I know have been frugal, including a major philanthropist who wears jeans & plaid shirts and drives a modest and not-new Ford. Ditto for a good friend who’s a “trust kid.” I’m not known for being particularly frugal though I’ve saved when we’ve needed to.</p>
<p>^^^ The Pawley’s Island area, where old money hangs out, proudly wears the moniker “arrogantly shabby.” Could well apply to the Prout’s Neck area, near where I am, summer home haven for Rockefellers etc. Frugality is an equal-opportunity trait. ;)</p>
<p>I don’t think there is anything wrong with spending money if there are material items that one wants and if all other responsibilities are being met. I think everyone is probably frugal in some areas and not so much in other areas. I have no problem buying very expensive designer suits and shoes - I’ve earned the right to do so, it’s my money, I want them, and, I can make the business case as to why they’re necessary or at least justifiable. For weekend goofing off though I wear stuff out of Target or Ross or better still borrow the stuff my daughter outgrew. I also refused to order anything to drink except water in restaurants (hate paying $4 for juice, etc.), and I only buy earings etc. that are like $.99, own no expensive jewelry at all - have a few moderately nice pieces that were gifts over the years. I am quite happy too buying very nice laptops and computer equipment, but, refuse to spend more than $150 or so on a television - we believe life should be lived, not watched on TV. </p>
<p>I don’t think money should matter so much though - it’s the easiest thing to get, and just by changing behavior or choices one can always make more of it, and spend less. Instead I think time is more critical. Time is not a renewable resource, and, when it’s gone, it’s seriously gone.</p>
<p>The book “The Millionaire Mind” gets into this - has been a while since I last read it, but, I remember when it described the grocery store buying habits of balance sheet millionaires, to a person, they all make lists for grocery shopping, and they adhere to those lists religiously. Their reasoning wasn’t so they would avoid being tempted to buy items that were not needed, but rather their reasons were based on the fact that going through a grocery store aisle by aisle (vs. going directly to those items on the list) eats up valuable time - time that can be spent enjoying family and friends, participating in a hobby, etc. </p>
<p>So while I pretty much buy myself whatever I want, as long as it is consistent with my core beliefs, goals and priorities and as long as all obligations are current, I am obsessive about how my time is spent. (Goofing off on CC works only as long as I can justify the exchange…when the relationship begins to get lopsided, I will restrict time spent here…)…</p>
<p>If we ever get out of these $65K+ per year education expenses, then maybe H and I will each enjoy a midlife crisis. Right now, we’re too busy figuring out how to pay the bills.</p>
<p>The book “The Millionaire Mind” gets into this - has been a while since I last read it, but,</p>
<p>It must have been a while- a million is hardly anything anymore. ;)</p>