<p>So years back when we were unemployed and racking up tens of thousands of credit card debt, I was scared of her “drastic” actions but wasn’t really angry.</p>
<p>But now that we’re getting out of the rut, I’m like wth? In terms of basic necessities I’m quite well off, I somehow managed to earn 2000 dollars this semester while doing 19 credits with a 3.7 GPA, ending the semester high as a kite, and now I find out this =( </p>
<p>Well she got caught recently. She actually got caught two years before, but they let her go.</p>
<p>I don’t understand?? She’s very hardworking, raised two kids by herself, endured all kinds of nonsense, and I’m trying to help her find a job in VA but now I think that prospect is damaged. :(</p>
<p>I don’t know anything about your mom, but maybe she has some worse problems that she needs to work out. Believe it or not, there are support groups for this. I recommend that you find your local group and ask them what resources are available to your mom.</p>
<p>Oy, I feel for you–having to parent your parent.</p>
<p>Can you make an ultimatum that she either get help, and you will help her find help (there are many support groups and low-cost mental health resources), or you will cut yourself off from her, if only to retain your own sanity. Klepto…, like other compulsions (alcohol, cutting, etc.), is an illness, and one cardinal symptom is the inability to see it as such.</p>
<p>I am really sorry that you are dealing with this–you have enough on your plate.</p>
<p>You need to kind of play the parental role. Say something like:</p>
<p>Mom, you have a problem and it’s time for you to get some help before you end up in jail.
If you don’t get help for your problem, I will not bail you out. I can’t take the stress of waiting for that dreaded phone call from the police station informing me that you have been arrested for shop lifting. I will help you find a well qualified therapist. However, if you choose not to get professional help, I will not be here to bail you out of whatever troubles your continued stealing brings to your life.</p>
<p>I’m surprised the Court did not give your mom the choice between jail or seeing a therapist for a year. The therapist must submit a letter every month stating that client is compliant with appointments.</p>
<p>"
She told me not to tell anyone, but I don’t think I can really take it anymore…"</p>
<p>What she is asking of you is unreasonable and is also her way of trying to continue with her destructive behavior. You do not have to enable someone in continuing behavior that could destroy their lives and also hurt your life.</p>
<p>I strongly suggest telling someone like an adult family member who may be able to intervene successfully with your mom. Does she have parents or siblings whom you can turn to for help? If not, does she have close friends whom you could turn to?</p>
<p>I also have read that shoplifting is one of many behaviors that is not necessarily related to poverty or wealth, it can be more of a obsessive compulsive disorder and a way to feel in control, but it certainly requires an evaluation and therapy, but she can be helped and needs the help in order to stop.</p>
<p>I have long heard rumors that a certain longtime Seattle anchorwoman had a shoplifting problem. She easily could afford what she stole. Some people just like the thrill or can’t help it.</p>
<p>Great advice as always from CCer’s trying to help here. I am not adding to that but on a related note, I just saw this in today’s news…pretty unbelievable:</p>
<p>Read or see the movie, “Bee Season” from the novel by Myla Goldberg, for some understanding of how odd can be the behavior of a (fictional) mom with kleptomania. What agony for the family!</p>