I think my parents are about to get devorced

Parent Cafe
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<p>So hi Parents of CC , I thought I should post in here so that I get a peice of advice.</p>

<p>My parents are married since more than 20 years now , My dad was living with us about 6 years ago but he left to a different nearby country because he found a job over there.
Days after days and years after years we kept contacting him via phone , skype … Etc and my mother used to talked to my dad almost everyday , and we kept going to him every vacation and he kept coming to us in every one of his vacations.
Unfourtuanatlly, last year my mom and dad had a fight over the phone and they stopped talking to each others for about 2 months until we heared my mom saying to one of her friends that she’s going to file for devorce and then my sister cried her eyes out when she heared that and when my Mom saw her she talked to my Dad and they got back talking again. However , I and my older brother and sister knew that they were talking just so that they don’t get me and my sister into sadness and make us suffer of parents devorce . Iam not that young though, but my parents think that Iam.</p>

<p>Anyway , whenever my parents talk to eachothers now they just talk with cold tones as if they don’t care about eachothers.</p>

<p>Last vacation - which was a month ago - we travelled to spend the holiday with my father , as usual , but he showed us no care and no love at all , It was obvious. He always got angry , it was appearant that he did not want us there. And he had COUNTLESS of arguments with my mom. My mom was very patient and was holding up just for us , but it was appearant that in the inside she was being hurt.</p>

<p>Now for Christmas - not exactly christmas , but our holiday happens to be during christmas this year - he said that he is not coming and he doesn’t want us to come and that he will travel alone to Europe , my mom suggested that we travel with him but he refused - not because of expenses , he made it clear to us that he doesn’t want to spend the vacation with us - .</p>

<p>I just feel my dad is becoming unbearable and my mother is being hurt alot just because she doesn’t want us to get hurt from their devorce . I love my mom and I prefer that my parents get devorced if she’s not happy with her marriage , i can’t bear seeing my father constantly hurting my mother with his stupid arrogant behaviour, I want my mom to be happy .</p>

<p>Parents , is there anything you advice me to do ?? Our life is becoming more and more misarble. What shall I do to help my mom ??</p>

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<p>I am so sorry you are going through this. My parents divorced when I was a young adult after staying together for me. In hindsight, they would have both been better off if they’d divorced sooner. I am of course not sure if this is the case with your parents, but it seems like it might be.</p>

<p>Talk to your mom about this. Let her know you love and support her no matter what. You should also find a way to talk to your dad to let him know the same thing. Try not to “take sides” in this…I am sure you want to continue to have both of your parents in your life!</p>

<p>Best to you. You are in my prayers.</p>

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<p>I grew up with divorced parents.</p>

<p>In my opinion, you can’t help. This is their situation and they have to be the ones who resolve it. Also, it is unlikely that you know the full details of the situation, which probably involve some very personal matters known only to them. So even if you tried to help, your help might be directed at the wrong things.</p>

<p>Divorce is not necessarily a disaster. Sometimes it’s a step forward. Not always, but sometimes. It may take a while for everyone to adjust to the new reality, but when they do, they may find that it’s better than the old one. </p>

<p>Also, you become a member of two families, which can be a lot of fun at holiday times.</p>

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<p>OP - I can’t improve on the excellent advice above. Live your life well. IMHO that’s the best thing you can do for your family just now.</p>