I, too, have a daughter withdrawing from college due to extreme anxiety...

<p>I have been reading the posts by the mother with a daughter who is leaving her dream college due to anxiety, as well as the excellent advice and responses she is getting. Reading this post broke my heart. It also made me want to share my own heartbreak. My daughter withdrew from the University of Michigan today after having been there for only 2 weeks. Apparently her third evening there during "welcome week" she was "welcomed" by an attempted rape by a very drunk underage drinker who I assume was probably another new freshman. She was so traumatized by this that she stopped going to classes and was afraid to leave her dorm room. I never expected to get the phone call yesterday that she wanted to leave because her anxiety, fears and stress levels were so high. She saw counselors and reported it, but she continued to feel so unsafe and filled with anxiety and depression by this that staying in her "dream" school became no longer an option. We are both devastated and I am very sadly picking her up from Ann Arbor tomorrow and taking her home. I'm so concerned that she will be afraid to go to college now. She is such a beautiful, intelligent girl that doesn't drink or get high and worked so hard all through high school for this dream, only to have it shattered by this..</p>

<p>Such a sad and horrible experience for your daughter. Did the school give her a medical leave of absence? She will need time and help to,work through this trauma. I am sure this is hugely upsetting for all of you; I would be absolutely furious and broken hearted at the same time. I hope you can report good news in the next months as your daughter heals.. All the best.</p>

<p>I am so sorry to hear that this happened to your D. The first order of business is to get your D into counseling. Make sure UM gives her a FULL withdrawal ... if they do not, you can file an exception request. Contact the Ombudsman for information and help, if necessary. She can get back into school later, when she is ready, as a true freshman.</p>

<p>Really bad things happen to really good people. It is a fact of life. Yes, it s**ks ... but it is true. Your D can get through this and be okay, but it will take time. She will need counseling, and she will need to do something that will help her feel in control. My friend was raped in college, and she became very accomplished in karate ... it helped her regain a feeling of control over her life. Your D's method may be different, but she does need to find some way to regain control.</p>

<p>My heart aches for you and your D. I know it must be so very hard for you. We do everything we can to help our kids grow up safe, and their hurt is our hurt. Do know that while her dreams seem to be shattered, it does not have to be so. My thoughts and prayers are with you.</p>

<p>Wishing you the best at this terrible time.</p>

<p>Please have your daughter feel free to talk to me. I was raped last summer and I understand better than anyone the pain and trauma your daughter is feeling. However through the right counseling and therapy I have come out on top of this awful and scarring experience. I know your daughter can too with the right help.</p>

<p>My prayers for your DD. Did the University take any action against the boy?</p>

<p>I am so sorry to hear about this. I hope she overcomes and recovers with time and counseling. All the best to your family.</p>

<p>Oh, I am so sorry! What a horrible thing to have happen in the first few weeks away from home. Praying that your daughter will heal from this experience in time.</p>

<p>I'm so sorry for your dd and you. Please get her the help she needs to start working through this and begin to heal. Hugs and prayers . . .</p>

<p>This breaks my heart. Please hold her close and worry about the only thing that counts: helping her recover. College can wait. Prayers going out to the whole family.</p>

<p>Oh my. So terribly sorry to hear this.</p>

<p>Thank you to all that have taken the time to reply...Yes, I do feel both brokenhearted and furious. We will both need counseling through this. I will find out more tomorrow when I pick her up, but I am sure this is a withdrawal and she is not "dropping out". I made sure she would be able to return there if that is what she ends up wanting to do. I don't know if it is specifically termed medical. But everyone in admissions is aware of what happened and why she is leaving. One of her counseling center visits involved taping her session. I assume because of her saying what happened? I don't think she has any idea who this boy was. But I will be asking many more questions tomorrow. Again, thank you to all for your advice and concern. It really is helping me to know that there are good people out there, and some people really and genuinely do care. I will keep you posted.</p>

<p>Thanks for sharing with us. I can only imagine the stress that this would cause.</p>

<p>My house was robbed years ago and I still remember the complete feeling of violation, and this wasn't even a crime against my person. </p>

<p>Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Your daughter is lucky to have parents she can come home to and be strengthened again.</p>

<p>What a terrible thing to have happened. Go ahead and share/vent with us so you can be strong for your girl when you see her. She will need your strength and compassion. Make sure she doesn't in any way feel SHE did anything "wrong." Praise her for making an adult decision, for being mature enough to withdraw. Reassure her, that in time she can go back to school on her own terms - but only when she feels absolutely ready. Counseling and time will help. But what she needs most now is the comfort and security of home. Best to both of you.</p>

<p>I am so very sorry, but thankful that you are going to get her.</p>

<p>As the mother of 2 dd's my heart goes out to both you and your dd. She was very brave to confide in you and very mature to realize right away that she needed to withdraw to take the time to be with you to heal from this terrible circumstance before returning to her "dream" school. </p>

<p>This terrible crime can, and very unfortunately does, happen at a lot of schools and too often the girl is afraid to report it. I admire your dd for immediately taking action. At my dd's school there have been several attempted rapes in the first several weekends of school. The brave girls gave descriptions of the attacker and the university took action to alert the student body. What upsets me the most when reading this is that your daughter's life is changed forever and has had to alter all of her dreams. </p>

<p>I hope that the university provides all of the deserved and necessary resources for your daughter during this terrible time. I hope and pray that she will be able to heal from this and move forward in time. I hope and pray you will be able to be strong for her.</p>

<p>I am so sorry this happened and I pray that your daughter can get past it in time and return to school- perhaps elsewhere. So sad. Please keep us updated. We all care.</p>

<p>Just another mom adding my support for you and your precious daughter. I can only imagine how unfair and heart-breaking this must feel for all of you right now. I am so very sorry. It sounds like you are doing all the right things for your girl.</p>

<p>I'm so sorry to hear about your D's terrible experience. She was very brave to report it and immediately seek counseling. That strength and your love will help her recover. Please feel free to come back here and lean on us so you can stay strong for your D.</p>

<p>Just reading everyone's kind words and the support I feel I have gotten on here in such a short time is unbelievable. You are all so caring and supportive. I don't really have anyone to share all of this with around here. Not even her dad. He certainly cares, but he is not a support system for me. We are divorced, but we will be driving to Ann Arbor together and hopefully be strong together for HER. I was able to get her an appt. on this coming Monday with the counselor that she had been seeing for about 4 years. She had already been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, so this incident obviously has been especially devastating. But we are leaving soon to bring her back home and hopefully start this healing process. Thank you again to all who have shared your concern and support. I will continue to keep you posted...</p>