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<p>Remind him that being there for his parents is part of being a dad… he’s setting a very good example for your son on how we treat our parents/family when they need us.</p>
<p>I truly lucked out with Bullet, not only is he the best husband any woman could ask for, but family is everything to him.</p>
<p>Our youngest was just informed today what the actual operation was, and he completely got it. Our eldest, who is at college in MD, told Bullet, he would go to the game, Bullet would not hear of it, nor would I, Ds1’s life is at college and not here at home. I also told Bullet at least we did something right, since our kids circle the wagons and support ea other. DD who finds DS2 as her dreaded enemy (or embarrassment at HS) said she would go with me. Her and I have decided that everytime DS is on the field we will use our cells to video it and send it to him. Stinks because he is playing now offense and defense!</p>
<p>Okay I just realized I have 2 choices, one be negative, or 2 be positive. If I know anything about my MIL she would sit here right now with me and say something in a very low voice that always made me shake my head and say WOMAN what are you talking about?</p>
<p>So in honor of her, I will give you one of her “superstitions”, and ask that you all add along your family superstitions. </p>
<p>My MIL said it is bad luck to put new shoes never worn on a table. To this day, I follow that rule!
My Mom believes that you must plant basil outside your home for good luck
We are Catholic, but MIL is Jewish so I have a mezzuah (sp?) on our door frame and kiss it everytime I leave or enter. I also for some odd reason must cross myself when I pass a cemetery!</p>
<p>Pima, hugs to you and Bullet. I’ve been in your shoes… With my father who knew everything better than my sister and I did. He was taken from this world prematurely. Bled internally… Stomach ulcers. We’ve been nagging him for years to get his indigestion checked out. Nope, he hated doctors, and he was not “ill”. When dad died, I cried for days because I felt so helpless and hopless. When my H fessed up that he had bad heartburn for weeks, I told him that I would drag him to our clinic by the scruff of his neck if he wouldn’t do it on his own. H saw the look on my face and knew I was not kidding.</p>
<p>To all of you thank you for your support. As much as we don’t want to admit it we are the sandwich generation, and we have 2 options. Ignore and hope for the best or be proactive and take our health into our own hands. It is another wake up call to Bullet and I that we want to dance together at our grandchildrens wedding. I am fortunate on my side, beside my father who died from AML (he was a chemist and benzene was a part of his daily life), every grandparent, Aunt and Uncle, blood related lived until at least 85 (Dad’s side —mom’s sibling died at 89). Unfortunately for Bullet, he has alot of cancer in his family.</p>
<p>AS most of you know I am a hard A**, and now poor Bullet! I will be watching him even closer since he has heart and cancer in his family. I like the guy alot and would like him to stick around…silly me :)</p>
<p>I guess “couple” spa days are now gone and they will be replaced with “couple” colon checks…:eek: Frightening that might be our date! 
LEVITY :D</p>
<p>I think some people shy away from the tests because they are so expensive; if one does not have good insurance it is a tougher sell, esp with no family history.</p>
<p>The other group I see are people who just don’t want to know, don’t want their lives to change, I suppose?</p>
<p>Just for a little perspective:</p>
<p>The people who are now in their seventies and eighties didn’t spend middle age going to doctors when they weren’t sick, the way we are now told to do. The concepts of repeated screenings for various conditions and of the extensive use of preventive medications were just developing when they were the age that we are now, and the idea of doing these things did not seem as natural to them as it does to us.</p>
<p>If a middle-aged person of their generation said “I haven’t been to a doctor in 5 years,” it meant “I have been very lucky and have had no health problems in the last 5 years.”</p>
<p>If a middle-aged person of our generation says “I haven’t been to a doctor in 5 years,” it means “I’ve been neglecting my health by not getting the screenings and preventive care recommended for a person my age.”</p>
<p>The rules changed on your mother-in-law in the middle of the game. People don’t always modernize themselves as practices change. I remember that my grandmother, who was elderly when credit cards started to be used, never got one; she was more comfortable with checks and saw no need for anything new. My father felt the same way about microwave ovens. My husband refuses to get a debit card on our joint checking account, and therefore we cannot use ATMs. And I’m no better: right now, I am resisting the idea of text messaging; for me, cell phones and e-mail are plenty – why do I need something new? </p>
<p>I think the same attitude can apply to medical practices.</p>
<p>Great insight, Marian! ^^^ </p>
<p>Just adding my perspective on “the procedure” for any under-50s (or overs who have been putting it off): there’s nothing degrading about the procedure itself. If you follow the instructions and time the prep correctly, you - and maybe your immediate family - are the only ones who have to be aware of it. The professionals at the screening center do this all day long - they aren’t squeamish or embarrassed about it, so why should you be? They truly have seen it all. :)</p>
<p>I suggest asking friends for their recommendations about where to have it done, because prep procedures and the degree of anesthesia administered do vary. I had a very easy time of it, but a friend, who went to another center, was one of the few people I ever heard of who had some discomfort she remembered. She’s going to try my center next time.</p>
<p>Many sympathies to you and your husband, bulletandpima. I clicked on this thread because I’ve thought of clobbering my MIL many times! 
Sorry it turned out that your situation is so serious. Just a reminder, though, that people who don’t see MDs on the prescribed schedule are usually acting out of fear. (And sometimes people who are diligent about their screenings will present with advanced symptoms, too - nothing is a 100 percent effective preventive measure.) While it’s frustrating for their families, once the worst happens, there’s nothing to be done but go forward. I’m sure she has many or will have many regrets. Hoping for a good outcome for all of you.</p>
<p>My father was outraged when the doctor suggested he should have a colonoscopy. He’s 72. The way he reacted, you’d think the guy had made a really lewd suggestion to him. </p>
<p>I can sympathize, because my parents are the absolute worst about all this stuff–and my mother’s a nurse! She walked around coughing for a solid year–she’s a smoker–and when she finally just collapsed, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was surprised to realize that I too, just wanted to smack her. I suppose it isn’t a very compassionate response, but I was completely exasperated with her at that point. </p>
<p>Now, if your m-i-l is otherwise delightful, then maybe you’ll be able to come to a happier place as you support everyone through this time. Or maybe she’s like my mother. I spent the week she was in the hospital for surgery at her beck and call. She did not like the hospital food, so I cooked whatever she wanted and delivered it to her at dinner time. I brought her lunches from her favorite restuarants. She said, “Can you go to the mall and get me some more of these socks?” Sure mom. I brought them back and she said,“Can you go to the mall and get some more of these underwear?” Are you kidding me?! I mean, of course! I was sweet as pie–which doesn’t come easy to me–and when all was said and done, about a month later I made reference to something at the hospital and she said,“Oh, were you there? I don’t remember you being there.” Lovely. </p>
<p>Schedule your spa appointments right now! :)</p>
<p>We have insurance with a high deductible and pretty large co-pay…I think H’s colonoscopies have run us in the neighborhood of $1200-$1400 each. If you are able to do the prep on a Sunday for a Monday procedure, you only miss one day of work; otherwise, you miss two. </p>
<p>Compare with a mamogram that takes zero prep time, less than an hour of waiting and procedure time, you don’t need anyone to drive you home afterward and insurance covers it 100%.</p>
<p>So - two days of missed work and $1200 vs. an hour of missed work and $0. Until they can get the test for colon cancer closer to a mamogram, lots of people aren’t going to get it. Lost of people don’t have the money or the available time off from work.</p>
<p>With regard to the prep, I went on all the Crohn’s sites and there are threads and threads where they share their tips on how to make the prep bearable, since Crohn’s patients have to go through this all the time. If I remember correctly, you can mix the prep powder with yellow Gatorade to make it palatable, and then switching out your TP to Charmin Plus with Aloe and applying Vaseline to your rear each time you go will help immensely. It still wasn’t what I would voluntarily choose to do with my weekend, but it was far easier than what I’d imagined when I followed their tips.</p>
<p>Here is a question for those who have done it: I get severe headaches when I don’t eat and once I get a headache, it lasts for four days (I’m not exagerating.) I assume I’m not the only one who gets a headache when they don’t eat. How have others managed it? After they put you under for the procedure, does the headache go away when you wakeup? (I’ve always wondered how diabetics manage.)</p>
<p>The prep is annoying, but tolerable, and the procedure itself is really nothing.
And if you get a good report, it makes you happy.</p>
<p>I do, too, but I make sure to drink gatorade and it helps.</p>
<p>Would the prep negatives be lessened if one just fasted for a few days?</p>
<p>B and P -</p>
<p>truly frustrating when “they” don’t do the right thing and it affects others</p>
<p>I guess having having teenagers is great prep for having aged parents :-)</p>
<p>My MIL was getting treated for ovarian cancer about 15 years ago and was doing all the right things until her daughter (my wife) left town for business: MIL quickly got on the phone and canceled chemo!!! Luckily, we got her back on - under a different and less effective protocol with fewer side effects - and she’s still with us today . . . which IS a good thing :-)</p>
<p>so sometimes things work out even after they go wrong!!!</p>
<p>Kei</p>
<p>I am so sorry. It is normal to be angry about the decisions she made not to have colon screening. But you can’t change her and you can’t change that. They were selfish decisions on her part, certainly. She did not realize how not having screening would effect her husband and her children, the grandchildren… </p>
<p>There are many stubborn folks out there who will not go and have mammograms, colonoscopies, or routine physicals. When subsequent health goes bad as a result, it does not just affect them, it effects everyone who cares about them. Try not to feel any guilt. Your MIL made a conscious decision not to have screening. </p>
<p>Hang in there. Once the pathology is back, and the scans are back and they stage her, you will have more info. There is no way the doc can tell the extent of the disease without the path reports. Microscopic disease is as meaningful as macroscopic disease. So when it comes to nodes, omentun, peritoneum, biopsies of other organ, the path report is what counts. And there will likely be scans, like a chest/abd/pelvic CT or MRI or a CT/PET scan. And the cell type matters. With here disease, frozen sections are not useful, and they need the final path and scans to give you answers. </p>
<p>And in this day and age, no one says…“6 mos” or “one year.” Because it is hard to say how anyone will respond to treatment. Be patient.</p>
<p>As for preparation, the nurse the next day said “oh, we forgot to tell you to use baby wipes”.<br>
I think MissyPie’s comments about cost are well taken. Total cost before insurance for me was on the order of $6000 (we paid about $700). I think the center I had the procedure at was a little more luxurious than it needed to be. I woke up in the middle of the procedure but it certainly wasn’t painful.</p>
<p>My mother died of a stroke but I’m sure earlier she had some sort of lower intestinal issue as well. But would she go to the doctor? Of course not. She might find out something she didn’t want to know!</p>
<p>The colonscopy prep is a nuisance and I hate the taste of Gatorade. But I did it.</p>
<p>Only thing I remember about the procedure (I must have been slightly loopy already) was seeing the wall of various hoses & attachments they had to choose from. It was a pretty cool display. :D</p>
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<p>I just don’t think that any number of public service announcements or Katy Couric interviews are going to make an uninsured person with no symptoms pay $6000 out of pocket for a screening test…I think $1200-$1400 out of pocket is pushing it but it becomes a peer pressure thing when you turn 50.</p>
<p>^^^^ Agreed Missypie–particularly in these economic times. As my dh’s job security fades, I’m constantly looking for ways to cut corners. If I was 50 this year and due for this test, I would definitely put it off until next year.</p>