<p>bulletandpima - I’ve run into this many times in my job, so I hope to reassure you that you’re not alone. However, I was aghast when I discovered it in my own family last spring. My 57-year old sister-in-law was diagnosed with cancer - stage 4 - that was in the liver. Of course, at 57 years old and relatively healthy otherwise, they tried aggressive treatment, but she only lived for a couple of months after diagnosis. </p>
<p>I’ve known her for 25 years, but after her death I found out things about her that totally blew my mind away. She’d been a closet smoker (really, I’d been in their house many times, even slept there) and I never knew it (neither did the rest of the family until they saw her in the hospital with a big 'ole nicotine patch on her). Also, she NEVER went to the doctor for anything… anything. Never went to the gyne, never had a mammo, etc. They were childless, but obviously they used birth control that didn’t require a written prescription. From what I was told, it was her co-workers that noticed something was wrong with her… she lost about 20 lbs. in the course of a few short weeks (she was very appropriately proportioned to begin with… not skinny, not fat), so they called my brother and told him he needed to force her to see a doctor. Well, for all those years that she avoided the doctor, she made up for it in her last two months - and it didn’t need to be that way. Her parents are now childless, as her only sister died about ten years ago due to diabetes complications. </p>
<p>As someone who religiously follows up with my own physician(s), I also don’t understand why people avoid this. From the stories I’ve heard, it usually stems from some horrible horror story they heard, or were the victim of, sometime in their younger years (and many times their families don’t even know about it). There’s usually no amount of cajoling, begging, pleading to get them to change their tune. Unfortunately, it then means the family is forced to pick up the pieces when things do go bad. </p>
<p>My own in-laws were this way, but they had their own self-destructive behaviors that they didn’t want to be lectured on from any doctor. They both died in their mid to late 60’s. Just in the past month I’ve been constantly reminding my husband of the kind of example his parents set for him, and pleading with him to not follow their example. Can’t remember when was the last time he saw a doctor for a check-up, but his place of employment provides a yearly physical. He had some bloodwork come back slightly off, and it seems like each test reveals something else off, leading to further tests. But he IS following up as I have pounded into his brain that it’s not fair to our children to have something go wrong at such a young age. They deserve to have their father around to walk them down the aisle. </p>
<p>I feel for you.</p>
The surgeon also refused to answer any direct questions about if it spread. I told him that is because he was protecting himself and waiting for biopsy results.</p>