I wonder if this is a stunt or it's real...

If real, it’s pretty sad state of affairs…


I’m a soon-to-be college student and have a hard time digesting this read. It’s sad that it took her almost all of college to realize she’s supposed to budget and work for her education.

If she had $90k and tuition is $20k per year, yes very careful budgeting would have gotten her through 4 years, but it is really that outlandish to spend $30k per year instead of $20k?

And yes, I do think her parents should have watched it a little more closely. It’s not like they didn’t know she was going to Europe or that she clearly can’t do 3rd grade math and divide $90k by 4. I have a daughter would would be fine and I have one who would, just like this girl, be shocked, shocked I tell you, that she’s out of money after 3 years. One I’d let loose, the other I’d ‘review’ the budget with often.

I still doubt it to be honest. Unless she was living at home and commuting – which I doubt very much that she was doing – she would have had dorm fees and mandatory meal plans each year. That’s realistically another $5000-$10000 a year. Throw in insurance, miscellaneous fees, expenses relating to a car if she had one, books and supplies… if she was living off of the corpus and had no other income or contributions I don’t really believe that she could have budgeted her way to success. The tuition alone would have been $80,000 in total – assuming that it was the same amount each year which it probably wasn’t. That means that she had $10,000 to pay for everything else that comes with living as a full-time student at college for four years.

(This isn’t an excuse for her irresponsibility though; that money should have lasted 4 years if she had taken out a part-time job to help defray expenses or attended a more affordable school.)

I wonder if her parents really didn’t try to budget with her, or if they did try and she blew them off because she had an unrestricted and seemingly unlimited reservoir of cash courtesy of her grandparents. Based on this site I get the feeling that a lot of parents are afraid of talking about money with their kids (is it a taboo?), and there are a lot of kids who view realism about money as being malicious or bullying.

There may also be kids who grew up with parents who were willing to buy anything the kids wanted without any limitation or even discussion of limitation based on cost. Such kids may have considerable difficulty adjusting to life where cost can be a limitation. That can mean conflicts with parents in April of senior year when the kid’s “dream school” is too expensive (possibly the first time that the kid has to face the fact that something can be too expensive), or mismanagement of college money as in this example.

I doubt that $90K will cover 4 years even for state school.

Maybe I was wrong about Mao Zedong’s Cultural Revolution. This spoiled kid could benefit from a “re-education camp, herding goats in Tibet”

Haha. My kid lasted a week at a job in cafeteria.

A story I heard decades ago:

When neighbor’s high school kid was asked by her mother to clean the bathroom of their own house, she refused on the ground that “It’s yuck!” Then, one summer, she took a job at a restaurant and cleaned the restroom there and had no problem with it. The only complaint she had was: Why did the government take so much of her hard earned money away? (She should be able to get it back when she filed her tax return though.)

My kid has never taken a job at a cafeteria. We also did not ask him to do chores at home. (We are NOT particularly proud of this.) But I think he learned quickly to clean his dorm room (and shared restroom/bathroom and common area also) in his freshman. So, sending him to an OOS helped him to become more independent.

But I heard some kids at his college would said: “I really do not do this (i.e., clean bathroom.)” It could be true that they did not have to do this before college, and will not have to do this after college.

Mcat, I tried to tell her no. But she didn’t listen to me. She wanted to work and that was her first job. But I’m glad she only lasted one week. All she did was washing the cooking pots that people used to cook. No dirty dishes. But she and her roommate had to take shower immediately when they got to their dorm. Her roommate was borrowing money to go to college. She was not on financial aid but not rich.


No chores at all? Not even simple tasks like loading the dishwasher or taking out the trash?

DrGoogle, Is it a “work study”-type job (if the cafeteria is run by her school)?

In freshman year, the only “financial aid” our kid got was a “work study”. We asked our kid to not take that job.

Regarding “cleaning the living area in the dorm in college”: DS’s suite had a crisis in just 2 months after the school had started: The kids left unfinished food in the living room/common area and it attracted fries – a lot of them. They all stopped going to the living room, until “somebody” cleaned the living room. That somebody was DS. It was not because he was nicer than other kids. His room was closest to the living room. The fries would get into his room from the bottom of the door to his room. So he had no choice but become the main person who cleaned the common area. (But I heard there was another kid, out of 5 kids, who would share the “cleaning job” of the living room. One particular kid was particularly selfish: He had time to take much more classes than everybody else, and then he had the gut of telling all other suitemates that he had no time to help clean the shared living room and bathroom because he had a higher course load than others. No one wants to be his suitemates next year. He even decided to apply to other residential college after the first year but he said he could not get along with anyone else in his new residential college either - so he “had to” live with his GF in her room for the next few years. Then, his GF’s suitemates complained! Sometimes a guy who is strongly disliked by everyone in his own gender is still well liked by peers in the opposite gender. Go figure.)

This parent is guilty as charged - like I said: I am not particularly proud of this aspect of our “parenting style.”

Our kid learned to do chores at school. Then, he would start to help around the house, only after high school.

The “meanest” thing we have asked our child to do: go get some student loans for your graduate school education!

Is your household fortunate enough to have domestic workers? Or have the adults family members been doing all the chores? I’m just curious, not being judgemental.

No. We have a SAHM. She has the tendency to do all the chores around the house. She does not like any of us to do the “work”. Both me and my child are “babies” who have been “well served”. This is just the dynamics in our small family!

When my coworker (who is one generation younger than me) knows our situation, he is very envious of me. He said that in his generation, there is no woman (or man) who is willing to stay at home and do this in her/his whole life.

No chores in my family either. Both of my husband and I came from the no chores family also. Our parents want us to focus on academics.

Our child paid more of his attention to academic work (and a lot of ECs but no chores.)

We had a joke in our family like this: When our preschool age kid had completed his book one Suzuki piano, he still needed his mother’s help to wipe his butt (it was more like his mom insisting she do this because she thought he had not learned to do it well enough in her “high standard” yet.) after finishing his business in the restroom! I actually had a little bit concern that she had done “too much” for him, deprived him of what he had to do by himself when he was growing up. This is why I think going OOS for college was very good for both him and us because we had no choice but “let him go”.

Such a interesting and different dynamic. We have domestic helpers, but we still make the kids do chores.

We had a housekeeper too but my kids still had chores and were expected to be generally helpful - someone is coming in the house with grocery bags, you help carry them in and unload, that kind of thing. They didn’t really do heavy cleaning, though.

We had a nanny, her main fiction was to watch kid #2. But she got bored and unload dishwasher and stuff. I never told her to do anything.
But my hubby is the helper of grocery bags. I do the marketing and he does the unloading. Fair division of labor.