<p>I don’t know where this should go, so S&S seemed like the most logical place.</p>
<p>I am in a pretty competitive environment, much of it centered around college admissions during the senior year. There are many expectations from adults and friends in my life, and I would not like to add additional stress to the application process over the next school year.</p>
<p>In other words, I would rather not disclose any information about my grades, scores, schools to which I am applying, and my admissions results. I have a variety of reasons, some of them selfish (I would rather not everyone know how well/badly I did on tests, etc.) and others selfless (why increase stress for others?) for feeling this way. I would just like this entire process to be private, not in a negative way but rather in a cautious way.</p>
<p>The problem is that as a rising senior, I naturally get many questions such as “What is your top choice?” and “Where are you applying?” These inquiries come from friends as well as acquaintances. I really do not want to respond to them, but I do not want to appear overly stand-offish or rude. So far I have responded in such a way as, “I’m still looking (at what I want in a school)” or something like that. Clearly, this falls apart when I send in applications.</p>
<p>I am wondering what other people say if they don’t want to share this information. I know I may be a bit over-the-top, but I do feel strongly about this issue, especially with regards to sharing where I want to go most with people, which is just setting myself up for unnecessary awkwardness later (considering the admissions rates of some schools). How should I respond to these questions politely yet firmly? Anyone with thoughts on this, maybe stories or personal experiences with this?</p>
<p>tell them you just applied to some small LACs. at least where i’m from, people don’t know the names of schools like LACs, so they’ll just smile and say “ok,” and move on.</p>
<p>fine, then, if you don’t mind me asking, what schools /are/ you applying to?
basically, generalize them, but make them sound uninteresting. if you’re applying to UCB, UCI, UCLA, UVA, OSU, UM, etc., say you’re applying to some large state schools. this is a little more risky, because people may ask you to specify on these, because more people think they know about state schools.</p>
<p>tell them that you haven’t quite found the place for you yet and that perhaps it was naive to think that any colleges would offer the quantum astrophysics/ancient slovenian 3-2 program with oxford that you were looking for.</p>
<p>That’s the problem. I’m not even sure, which makes “I’m still looking” a truthful answer up until the point where it’s clearly a lie. I basically only know my stretches, and I’m not sure for those. I’m researching possible matches/safeties every day, but that doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>Basically, I would feel uncomfortable telling someone “Oh, HYPS is my top choice” at this point, and at any point, really. I just don’t want to have to deal with it when decisions come in. But I’m definitely considering highly selective institutions, such as some of HYPS. I’m a strong candidate (in my opinion), but strong candidates get rejected by the thousands.</p>
<p>I sympathize with your problem, and think that it is smart to keep your information as private as possible. However, at most schools, that is hard to do. You can probably keep your test scores private. It is harder for GPA. As to applications, I would refuse to name a top choice and just say that you are looking for a good school that is a good fit. You can say that you are applying to a varied selection, because you are not 100% sure what is a good fit at this point, and also not 100% sure about where you will be admitted. I like SeniorSlacker’s idea, too, but at many schools, people will know that you have requested transcripts, recommendations, etc.</p>
<p>A lot of times, adults in your orbit are merely asking these questions to be polite. They really don’t know what’s a safe subject for today’s teens, so they just guess the college search is. </p>
<p>Therefore, your reply doesn’t really have to be chock full of details. My son is learning that a good deflection can keep the conversation going without spilling a lot of beans. He seems to have luck talking about what’s he’s ruled out.</p>
<p>Examples:
“I don’t know what I want to major in. But, I’ve ruled out ________.”
“I don’t know where I want to go. One thing’s for sure: I don’t want a college smaller than my high school.”
“My SATs? Ask me again in May, when the whole process is over. By then I won’t be stressing anymore.”
“My GPA changes every quarter. I think I’m in the top 50% of my class, though.” ;)</p>
<p>One mom had a good answer, in my opinion. She said “She’s looking at X, Y, Z (all schools that her kid could consider matches or mild reaches) and a few others”. Were the ‘few others’ big reaches or safeties? Her answer left that hanging, but it signaled an end to the conversation.</p>
<p>It might be harder to keep your GPA and test scores secret. I know I’m a nosy person, and I asked one of my friends if she had gotten her ACT scores. Her answer? “Yes.” And that was it for the topic, I knew not to push it and I’m sure most others would, too.</p>
<p>when people asked me about my SAT results, i would just make this really tortured face and say “aarrgghh, don’t remind me!” and people just assumed i did badly and they never mentioned it around me again…</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice (and treeto’s was very useful).</p>
<p>Actually, it’s easy to “hide” my scores/GPA. My school is private and doesn’t calculate GPA. For SATs, I just say that I did well (which is true). No one has pushed it further. Same for grades in specific classes.</p>
<p>But it’s the college thing that threw me off…</p>
<p>theres an african american family in my town (almost entirely white and asian) that had three extremely smart, athetic, and involved daughters. the oldest went to columbia, the middle went to brown, and when the youngest was applying eveyrone was dying to know where she would go. she just told everyone (even her clostest frriends) that she was applying to rutgers and “a couple others”. never said anything until decisions. shes going to amherst.</p>
<p>very good decision for her… with a family that gave such high expectations and a high school thats uber competitive as it is. try something similar like your safety and one match and “a few others”.</p>