I'd like to pay for a niece's private HS. Concerned about new school ruining GPA?

Parents Forum
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<p>@auntjulia,
I have not read all the posts. I am answering your question.</p>

<p>It does not really matter if her GPA will be lower at the new HS. Colleges use the info that they know about the school and the HS GCs, along with the school’s profile that is sent to the college with every application, along with the kid’s class rank (if provided) when evaluation college apps. You could ask the private HS (and the public HS) to give you a copy of their HS profile and the list of colleges that the kids matriculate to and ask the HS’s ave SAT scores etc if you are concerned about college placement. But different GPAs between 2 different schools won’t matter as much as you think it will. So don’t worry about that.</p>

<p>It’s also hard to predict changes in GPA when a kid moves from one situation to another. It could go up or down or stay the same depending on a host of other factors and drives that the kid has. For example, in a private HS, where the kids might not have to “act dumb” for their social lives, the GPA might actually go up. Or for a kid who does the minimum to get whatever grade they deem is important, the grade might be the same. Or the kid who was working at full speed before, if placed in a challenging HS, might have a GPA go down. You just can’t know for sure.</p>

<p>That is generous of you to pay for your niece’s tuition!!</p>

102

<p>@AnnieBeats‌ I wouldn’t characterize her as “performing at a high level.” She’s being given undeserved A grades. If I look at only her final exam scores, she’s a sub 3.0 student. That along with questioning her on her school year, I am 100% confident her current GPA at the public is a farce.</p>

<p>Inflated GPA keeps the complaints from parents at bay and honestly, in this day of US News obsession, gets kids with inflated GPAs into college over others. Do note she wants to attend the state flagship or NYU, both of which have a 3.7 average GPA.</p>

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<p>OP how do you know that these grades are inflated? Are you just guessing because it’s a public school? Or have you spoken to students, parents, and guidance counselors in the school? You haven’t really said anything to show that grades are actually being inflated. It seems like it’s just your opinion. A little hardwork will improve success whether it’s a private school or public.</p>

<p>How do you know that this isn’t a problem that will be solved with getting older? If she is a sub 3.0 student, Catholic school may be too rigorous for her depending on the one you choose. Her parents need to do what’s in her best interest, not put her in a school she can’t handle because you want her to be there.</p>

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<p>Op,
Just read this part,
"To be clear, this is not about challenging her. The public she is at has an honors track and plenty of AP courses to challenge its students. This is about cultivating growth, structure, discipline, developing good study habits… and a new set of friends. "</p>

<p>If this is your goal, and you think that you can get it by changing to a private Catholic HS, then yes, have her transfer and don’t worry about the effect that it might have on her GPA.</p>

<p>My friend’s kid was in a group that was smoking pot towards the end of middle school. The group of kids got separated into 2 different HSs and the pot smoking stopped with my friend’s kid. (My friend’s kid went to a magnet HS and the rest of the group when to the standard track HS. My friend’s kid stopped smoking pot and hung around her new friends. The old group continues with their pot smoking and are getting into all sorts of trouble.)</p>

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<p>I think i have read all of the OP’s responses so if I missed this I apologize…does your niece want the change? Is she willing to put in the effort to make the changes needed in her behavior and work habits?</p>

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<p>@bisouu‌ When I mentioned paying for her to attend the private Catholic school, she wasn’t sure if I was kidding or not. But there was not a “NO WAY!” reaction. And as I said, she actually met two nice girls from there this summer. I left feeling she’d be open to the idea if it was seriously presented to her. She’s a social, well-liked girl, I think she’ll do fine.</p>

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<p>Parental perception in our community is that the private Catholic school is “better” than our public high school with “better outcomes”. And it is true that they do better with college acceptances at Catholic colleges. Feedback from friends who do admissions for local universities is that the public high school students who are taking the AP/honors courses are much stronger students and are better prepared. Looking at the top of the class in both places, the public HS kids do better everywhere except the Catholic institutions, and they are certainly getting broader social interaction (which some parents may consider a bad thing). I have no idea if the OP’s situation is similar, but the discrepancy between parents’ perceptions and neutral outsiders’ perception is quite large. There is a strong underlying feeling that 1) if you pay for it, it must be better, and 2) going to school with kids who look just like you is better. Those feelings may not be warranted.</p>

<p>Again, I’m not making any comment on the OP’s particular situation, since I don’t know the details.</p>

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<p>When there’s a greater academic challenge on the table, and the student wants to take it, I say take it. Getting a good education and preparation to succeed in college is more important than getting fancy number that may help you get into college.</p>

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<p>If her GPA isn’t going to be lower at the private school, then you are probably wasting your money sending her there. If she is going to be at a disadvantage getting into a college because of that, then you probably don’t want her to go to that college. She may not have that big an advantage in admissions by going to the private school though.</p>

<p>As for Catholic schools, there are some good ones, such as some Jesuit schools, which are comparable to other good private schools. However, ordinary Catholic schools are generally not better than public schools in good areas.</p>

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<p>I’m puzzled that she seems to care so much about her GPA without wanting to take the more challenging courses. Perhaps it would be helpful to take her to an admissions session at your state flagship. In every single admissions session I attended, they said over and over and over again, that they are looking for students who challenge themselves. I’m not sure what purpose she thinks a high GPA will serve when colleges can see that she choose not to challenge herself. It’s just a number, and one that isn’t a particularly meaningful comparison between schools anyhow. They will offer the spot to a kid with lower GPA who took the harder courses. And the schools you mentioned she wants to attend don’t sound to me like a very probable admit for a kid who isn’t in honors classes and is barely in the top 20%. </p>

<p>I disagree with earlier posters who said, just wait, she is bound to change friends, no one has the same friends through high school. That wasn’t my experience and it hasn’t been my kid’s experience either. If you feel strongly that her peer group needs to change, I’d try the catholic school. If it doesn’t work out, you can try moving her back to the public and perhaps the intervening year will be enough to weaken those friendships and open her to a new, hopefully better, peer group, especially if she enrolls in the honors classes.</p>

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<p>Are there any private schools available besides the Catholic school? Or are they all out of reach financially?</p>

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<p>I am going to chime in to say it is NOT a good idea to move her in and out of different schools, 1) it would be very disruptive to the niece, 2) her GPA calculation (ranking) maybe compromised. Each school has their own weighting of honors and APs, when my kid moved junior year, it took us months to get her transcript from her old school normalized at her new school. </p>

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<p>

Really? Both my kids did. Basically their friendship groups were mostly formed in middle school with some additions in high school when the other middle school was added to the mix.</p>

<p>I’ve had a handful of friends who pulled their kids out of our pretty good public school because they felt their kids were slacking off or had an unhelpful group of friends. Some went to one of the local Catholic schools others to other private schools in the area. Most felt they had made the right decision. One in particular sent their son to the Catholic boys school, but their daughter who was more focused stayed in the public school system.</p>

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<p>I am a bit bothered by Aunt Julia’s posts.</p>

<p>Does Aunt Julia have children of her own? If so, how old are they?</p>

<p>My sister and I aren’t that close. Perhaps Aunt Julia and her sister are and what she’s doing here is acceptable in the context of their relationship. But IMO AJ’s posts sound as if she thinks she would do a better job of raising her niece than her sister is doing. I hope at the very least that AJ discussed the plan with her sister and her sister’s husband before suggesting it to her niece. </p>

<p>I’m Catholic myself, but I think some real issues might arise from enrolling a girl who has not been raised as a Catholic in a Catholic school when one of the parents, especially the parent who is NOT a sibling, is not Catholic.What if the young woman starts espousing Catholic views that her father disagrees with? Now, obviously, most Catholic schools have lots of kids who aren’t Catholic enrolled in them. However, most parents investigate what their kids will be taught about religion before they enroll their kids. </p>

<p>I also think it’s more than a bit of a stretch–I’d call it just plain wishful thinking–that a student who hasn’t been in the honors track in 9th grade is going to be able to transfer to another, allegedly tougher high school, and be permitted to enroll in honors courses in 10th grade. I think it’s more likely that the school will say she has to prove herself by doing well first, and then, if she does, she may be permitted to take tougher courses later. And, frankly, 11th grade is, as a practical matter, too late. Now, maybe I’m wrong and the Catholic school puts EVERYONE into honors classes, but that would be unusual. </p>

<p>So, what if all this doesn’t work? What if a few years down the road the girl doesn’t do well in terms of college admissions? Are her mom and dad going to blame AJ for interfering? Are they going to think, but for AJ’s butting in, our D would have stayed at the public school, gotten better grades, and had better college options?</p>

<p>In most families, money comes with strings. Is AJ at least willing to sit back once she’s written the check and refrain from asking any questions about grades, courses, ECs, friends, etc? If not, I think there’s a good possibility that, no matter how well intentioned, this plan may cause resentment. </p>

<p>The vibe I’m getting here is not “I know sis and hubby would love to put their D in a Catholic school. I can afford it, so I’ll pay.” Instead it’s “My sister is clueless. I think she’s doing a lousy job raising her D. Maybe if I offer to pay for Catholic school, I can get my niece in a situation where she might be encouraged to behave the way I think she should and make friends with the kind of people I think she should associate with.” </p>

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<p>@jonri that was my point earlier…my daughter had to take an admissions test for honors and IB before entering HS. I can’t imagine that this new school will allow her to just walk in and start taking these challenging courses.</p>

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<p>I know very little about Catholic schools, but I can’t imagine a student who earned an A in a regular course being prevented from moving into the honors class the next year in our public school. Our public school has no test requirements for honors classes. It is by teacher recommendation and parents are free to override the recommendation.</p>

<p>Is there any sense that the niece wants to leave her current peer group? If not, this may not work at all as the OP imagines. There are plenty of ways for kids to stay in touch if they want to, and it’s harder to get together with kids from a private school because they are much more geographically dispersed. When one of my kids attended a private school, she usually played with the public school kids who lived nearby.</p>

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<p>Sent 2 of 3 kids to private schools. Both kids loathed it. Both joke that they are almost un-religious because of going to a catholic school. The kids parents have a TON of money and often are very spoiled-loose cannons. Some are very grounded focused kids. Much stiffer competition than PSchools. Will hurt the student if not a top student. Tuition at ours was 18k-way way too much IMO. the education is completely worthwhile, but it is too much for a HS in my opinion. Neither kid would go there again-rather be a big fish in a small pond.</p>

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<p>I haven’t read all the posts on this thread – so excuse me if this has already been asked/answered – but has your niece been accepted for admission at the target private school? Where I live all the prestigious private high schools & well-regarded Catholic schools have somewhat selective admissions policies. </p>

<p>It seems to me that if you feel comfortable with paying the tuition for a private school --you should make the offer, make sure the parents and your niece know that you are serious about the offer – and then butt out. Don’t mention it again, don’t nag, and above all, don’t fault the family if the don’t take you up on the offer. (That is, if niece stays in public and things don’t go well down the line-- no “I told you so” or “if you had listened to me” allowed, ever.)</p>

<p>If the niece wants to attend the private school – and if the only obstacle has been finances – then she can do whatever is needed to apply and let you know when the tuition comes due. Or not. Also, please make the offer unconditional— if two years down the line she’s in the private school, but still hanging out with kids you don’t approve of and her private school grades are borderline… that’s a concern for her and her parents, not you. </p>

<p>The problem is, it’s no bargain for you if your investment in your niece’s future doesn’t pan out and the money becomes a wedge that ruins your relationship for the future. So it really has to be a no-strings-attached, no guilt offer. </p>

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<p>“I can’t imagine that this new school will allow her to just walk in and start taking these challenging courses.”</p>

<p>I agree with this. My son had to stay in regular classes freshman year - and they made him retake 8th grade French - even though he had passed the state exam at his public school - he would have been way behind. By his soph. year he was moved up into some honors classes (can’t recall which ones) and jr & sr year all honors, plus CC physics and Uni in the Classroom French. I think his upward trend in grades and taking a more challenging curriculum each year was seen as a really positive thing by adcoms. </p>

<p>From what several people have told me is that they wished they had put their kids in private school in 9th grade but by their jr year it was really too late to make the change. </p>

<p>Also, a lot of parents where I live are very tired of all the constant standardized testing and private schools don’t have to do any of that. </p>

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<p>If I read the situation right I think that the OP is trying to change the environment, not just the classes. While it’s true that she might increase the rigor of her curriculum by simply taking honors/AP classes, the environment at the public school will not change. She will still be influenced by the same friends and the low achievement environment. It will be difficult to change her friends out for friends who are a better influence on her if she just takes a few harder classes.</p>

<p>My kids go/went to an independent prep school. I taught at a local public high school (not a bad school). The environment in the schools are completely different. </p>

<p>In the public where I taught the administration was consumed with increasing test scores and making sure the school was safe. In that regard they did a good job. We did not have a lot of violence in our school and our test scores hovered just above the average for our district, despite the fact that we had some kids from low income backgrounds. This was NOT an inner city school but we did have some low income kids. </p>

<p>At the school where I taught a child like the OP’s niece would not get the attention of anyone. It sounds like she isn’t failing anything and she isn’t a troublemaker. As long as her test scores were ok and she wasn’t causing problems nobody would notice her at all. She would just take her classes and go home. If she wanted to talk to a GC she would have to initiate the contact herself. The GC would likely meet with her if she asked but if not, there is no need to have contact with her.</p>

<p>In good private schools (not all are good) there is much more emphasis on academic achievement beyond just passing. The culture of the school places more emphasis on college and what is needed for college admissions starting the freshman year of HS. The teachers talk to the students about their college goals when recommending classes. The GC meets with each student each year. The GCs go into the English classes and put on programs for the students. </p>

<p>In private schools every student is interested in the college admissions process regardless of what level classes they take. That could be a big change for the OPs niece. Just being around students who consider college from day one may have a positive influence on her.</p>

<p>There are kids who take drugs, drink and engage in risky behavior in private schools. You cannot escape that element simply by going to private school. However, those behaviors are not glorified to the same extent as they are in our local public schools. Those kids are not necessarily the most popular kids in private school. </p>

<p>At any rate-I don’t think just taking harder classes at her public will place her in a better environment.</p>