<p>This year we gave gifts to both kids.The grown ups got a new TV (made the sports fans happy). </p>
<p>Next year we agreed that we will go to the women’s shelter. They have a “tree” with cards on it listing a family and the ages and genders of all in the family. We are going to buy gifts for a family other than our own. We don’t need more “stuff” but there are others who will certainly be happy to get gifts.</p>
<p>We haven’t given gifts to extended family in over 20 years. We make a donation to charity in the names of our extended family (the one we have chosen buys winter coats for needy children).</p>
<p>This is a wonderful thread–almost sticky-worthy.</p>
<p>family trips
events–ski passes, theater, sports events, rafting,…
practical–clothes, kitchen gadgets (I still have many of the items I got as grad student, and being thrifty, sometimes wish I had splurged on better quality)
homemade food
memberships–Netflix, Costco, cells
some silly stuff
retirement accounts
big items wanted/needed–TVs, phones, Kindles
charitable contributions</p>
<p>Did I miss anything?</p>
<p>I do well when I have a hint what the person wants, like wine glasses, a favorite drink or a sweater. The random gifts often miss the mark.</p>
<p>We also adopted a family (through Salvation Army) for many years. DS is now out on his own and did this on his own. Knowing that he has adopted this tradition on his own was a great gift to me.</p>
<p>Salvation Army allows you to specify the size range of the family you feel you can afford and gives wish lists from each family member.</p>
<p>Love all these ideas. My only question is, how do you ‘get over’ the idea of a relatively empty space (maybe totally empty space) under the Christmas tree? Funny enough, this is an issue mostly for my spouse, who was raised Jewish! But said spouse likes the idea of ‘lots of stuff’ under the tree for the kids (youngest is still rather young, not close to puberty). I know too well how all the stuff gets cluttered, lost, broken, or unappreciated. I would gladly embrace the ideas on this post. Suggestions on how to ease the transition?</p>
<p>A friend whose college age son got a significant check this year, received it in a large box. Filled with newspaper, check at the bottom in an envelope. It was impressive under the tree. </p>
<p>I always remember the year I was given boots. A nicely wrapped box of old boots, and money to buy new ones in check form.</p>
<p>When our kids were younger, we’d have them write plays and practice up songs to perform in chorus for parents’ and siblings’ birthdays. It’s the same idea as home-made crafts, but in performance form. They’d write some very funny parodies of family relationships. After the show, their script became an item to save, so not very space-consuming but good memories. For one of my H’s special birthday, each kid drew a charicature of him; fun to see 3 interpretations of his face. I framed it. </p>
<p>We’ve outgrown all that a bit, unfortunately. It worked because it was about the person being gifted/honored. So it wasn’t about admiring the performer but the way the kids captured/characterized the subject. In our home it was humorous, but could also be a sentimental presentation, or sing someone’s favorite song for them. Today someone might create a YouTube present.</p>
<p>p3t, YouTube does work. Or a CD with instrumental music, proudly performed and recorded by the giver.</p>
<p>One time, yD and I gave DH a joint gift: I bought an iPod (tiny stuff), and yD filled his iPod with music from his CD collection (no stuff). It was quite a lot of work, and her dad was very happy that he did not need to spend hours uploading his CDs to his new gadget. Of course, as a practical joke, DD sprinkled some 50 Cent rap and German heavy metal among his Pink Floyd and Joan Baez… He had fun cleaning it out later. :)</p>
<p>I got S a ton of clothing from different stores so he could figure out what size & style fit him the best. He ended up with a pair of slacks & brand he really likes (& fits him well). He also kept a sweater & I mostly cheerfully returned the rest. He IS tough to fit and was pleasantly surprised to find a pair of mainstream slacks that look great on him!</p>
<p>Got D a few things that she needed–GPS, sunscreen, nice sweater and warm jacket (that she’s not positive she’ll keep). Each kiddo got some sweet treats in their stockings & some cash. Both seemed happy. Kiddos gave me a pashmina shawl & handbag they made; they gave H a two volumes of hardbound comic book–his favorite one. </p>
<p>We also had a nice two night family reunion with my sibs, their kids & my folks at a nice resort on this island (wouldn’t have been able to everyone to get away otherwise). I did give some gifts to elders on the “Angel Tree.” We asked the kids for a DVD of their favorite music–we may or may not receive it. :)</p>
<p>We started “giving memories” a few years ago. This ranges from a date to a new Tea house to a holiday movie and dinner. This year we gave ourselves tickets to the New Harry Potter World at Universal. I do still fill their stocking but mostly with consumables like food or toiletries.</p>
<p>We had four presents under our tree this year. Three were very small. The other was to our son. DD wasn’t here at all and could not receive gifts either. You know…it was nice to be able to see our very pretty tree skirt!!</p>
<p>I still remember how happy D was that S enjoyed playing with the remote controlled helicopter she bought him & how touched she was that he gave her a very nice “messenger bag,” which she really needed.</p>
<p>They did love the memories created when we went to the resort with the extended family but also their individual gifts that saved them having to purchase something themselves.</p>
I’m not sure you <em>do</em> get over it, in terms of feeling a little wistful about it if that was your growing up experience (as it was mine) or the experience you gave your children when little (which we did). But you just … let it go.</p>
<p>You enjoy decorating - if you do enjoy that. Dangle a lot of baubles really low on the tree, if you like. Put trains or villages under there if you like. Give up the tree, as we eventually did - altho that was several years after we started the homemade tradition. I have a nice table tree (not a fake tree; it’s curved metal) where I hang tiny ornaments, a collection of Santas I accumulated over the years, ditto some angels, a set of Nativity figures from Mexico and being a Jewish/Christian meld… a few menorahs. </p>
<p>I still enjoy these things and don’t really need to see “stuff” under the tree.</p>
<p>We still have the tradition of putting out the mailed gifts from relatives under the tree after the kids are in bed. (I was supprised how may mailed gift we had for grown kids). We are used it being empty under the tree. It occurred to me that next year it would be nice to start putting out the toy trains again. </p>
<p>The year we moved here DH’s relatives realized that it is really expensive to mail things from NY to CO, especially if you are not careful about selecting small/light gifts. So the second year the pitched their money together and sent us a check to buy a nice fish tank and stand for the kitchen - that was fun.</p>
<p>For extended family, we do a name-draw, $40 limit. </p>
<p>For the 3 of us, we decided on a really low-budget Christmas. DH said it for all of us: “There’s nothing I need, and not much that I want.” So we decided on a Charity/Trinket Christmas. </p>
<p>For the main gift, each person designated a favorite charity or two, and donations were made in that person’s honor. Then there were the trinket gifts – inexpensive fun gifts (DH got a pocket knife to add to his collection), practical gifts (I got my annual Dearfoams) and gag gifts (Hot Topic’s hamburger earmuffs for D), stuff like that. </p>
<p>2kidsnoanswers: I also like a “full tree” and have chosen NOT to get over it. But I’ve realized that a wrapped paperback book looks just as good as a wrapped iPad, and costs a heck of alot less! We also wrap the acknowledgments that the charities send; we put them in, say, a shoebox and then wrap the box. Some charities will send a small gift when you make a donation, which can be wrapped and put under the tree (one is WorldVision’s Maximum Impact Fund). You can have a low-budget Christmas tree that looks really festive.</p>
<p>Great ideas, everyone! Now, if we hadn’t given away the toy train years ago…</p>
<p>Someone long ago suggested putting things on the tree like your (now grown) baby’s rattle, hairbrush, small favorite toys, etc. It makes the tree so much more memorable and personal!</p>
<p>DS gets gift cert good for 1 year of college ‘pending acceptable progress.’ I have been known to pack it in a LARGE box to combat empty tree syndrome.</p>
<p>He actually asked for spring semester textbooks for Christmas, having already blown through majority of his years worth of funds buying bagels :D.</p>
<p>Also gave him a Roth IRA for his 18th bday which was just before Xmas, with plans to add to it each year for a few years. Gave me a good chance to talk to him about compounding (real life example of stuff they learned in HS), dollar cost averaging etc. He seemed to think it was pretty funny that I was thinking about his retirement when his life just opened up in front of him. I told him my job now was to keep an eye out on the long term for him as he is now an adult and I am no longer involved in the day to day.</p>
Or a CD with instrumental music, proudly performed and recorded by the giver.</p>