<p>Another holiday season of giving a good deal of stuff to kids in their upper teens and 20s is over. I am wondering if there is a better way. </p>
<p>Do you have any suggestions for making holiday giving less “stuff-oriented” but still personal and meaningful?</p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p>A friend of mine took her kids away for a tropical vacation over Christmas week. The understanding was that it was their only gift, of course. They had a wonderful time and no regrets.</p>
<p>EPTR - that’s exactly what we did this year. No presents, except the trip. It was heavenly and if I could get away with it every year, I’d do it.</p>
<p>This is a dilemma in our house also. I am finding that experiences, especially ones that can be enjoyed as a family, have more meaning than stuff. As mentioned, this can be a vacation,but an outing, a concert, a show, sports event, etc. fit the bill, too. Also, there are many organizations that allow you to gift others in December. Some provide a wish list for a family with sizes, needs, etc. This makes for a great family project to treasure hunt, wrap and think about what matters. Older kids can play a big role in selecting the organizations and how to support them. Good luck!</p>
<p>I’m out of my league here because we’re not seasonal gift givers in my family. But recently my H started new retirement savings accounts for each kid in their names. He showed them the powerful calculus about how much each of their dollars today will multiply many times, by the time they retire. He told them that, to get them in the habit of saving, for a few years, any dollar they manage to put there, throughout the year, he’ll match by 2. He started it with a bit of seed money, as is necessary to open it.</p>
<p>They are frankly not as excited about it as things that they receive for the “now” because they don’t think they’ll ever get old and they need a lot NOW. But that’s a way to apply your same seasonal gift money while teaching them to save from their current jobs - even just a tiny amount this year-- on their own behalf for the far future. Truthfully we got a bigger rise out of them for the chocolates we handed over, but perhaps in time they’ll thank us and themselves for starting and leavening these accounts.</p>
<p>p3t, what a great idea - a piece of chocolate wrapped in a Hershey stock certificate provides both instant and delayed gratification! ;)</p>
<p>^Rotflmao… I also admire the group trips as per Teriwtt and EPTR’s friend. We just can’t coordinate all of our work schedules any more with the kids. :(</p>
<p>We haven’t done this yet with our kids, but last year we started a new gift exchange with my H’s family. (there are 26 when we get together) Names are drawn and here are the rules. You have to get a gift for $10 or less (or free) and needs to reflect the receiver’s first and middle initial. So Jenny Lee would maybe receive a (Jar of Lights) or Michael Paul might receive a new Van Gough calendar (Master Painter) , Sally Hannah (Shoe Horn).</p>
<p>It makes it fun, everyone gets a gift, the cost stays down and most importantly…The giver actually has to put some thought into the gift.</p>
<p>This year I bought several ‘experiences’ for family from Groupon. One was a river rafting trip. Another was this simulated parachute experience. They seemed to love them, and also it was so nice to buy from the comfort of my computer!</p>
<p>We don’t buy the kids many Christmas presents (by tradition, the many doting relatives did that in the earlier years). We like skiing and have often bought “4packs” for us all for ski season. One year we even skied on Christmas day - very memorable… we practically owned the mountain.</p>
<p>This year we arranged tickets for the King Tut exhibit in town. </p>
<p>The kids gave us a gift that coincidentally we got for DD (her favorite movie on DVD, “Apollo 13”, one that we all love…it’s exciting every time, even though you already know how it ends.) The new TV and blue ray dvd player inspired us all with the same idea. </p>
<p>The kids also have the “gift” that goes on the whole year… cellphone service (with internet access). They don’t expect a mound of toys under the tree.</p>
<p>Holiday season 1: give kids iPods
Holiday season 2, 3, etc.: give kids iTunes cards </p>
<p>^^Minimal amount of actual stuff. </p>
<p>Subscriptions to Netflix or some other movie-delivery service makes a great gift for someone who likes to watch movies. Gifts of Costco membership were very well recieved by my friends. Of course, then they started to pile up stuff!</p>
<p>You can tell your kids are getting older when the gifts are everyday items that they really need. This year we gave our two S’s basic stuff like shoes, socks, shirts, boxers,books.
We also got S2 a much needed new cellphone. There was no “fluff or stuff”, just things they needed for everyday life. I also gave up doing stockings for them. Our youngest is 21. It was time to let go of some old traditions.</p>
<p>We actually discussed <em>just</em> sticking with stockings next year…whatever fits in there and maybe some cash. I will buy fun stocking things all year. Anytime I see something fun and different I’ll buy it - one hit this year was synthetic spit balls: they were little plastic-like beads, but when you soak them a bit they grow (Overnight they became marble-sized), and they are kinda sticky like spit balls. After they dry out they shrink back up. Yes - my college aged kids thought they were great and for $2/pk even!</p>
<p>We have three college age kids and for the last few years we have gotten tickets to a big time sporting event and made it a family day. If you are not into sports perhaps theatre tickets or concert tickets might work. I love the idea of a family vacation but my kids like to spend some time at home over Christmas so a family day works better for us!</p>
<p>For the last several years – ten, maybe – we’ve gotten one main gift for each kid. And each of us buys something for the other, so everyone has at least three gifts to open. Kids are happy with the “main” gift from Santa – this year, a Droid for one and a Kindle for the other – and it doesn’t break the bank too badly.</p>
<p>I really like PT3’s idea of adding to the retirement account. I started one for son when he began to work, but with tuition, I could only add $100 or so.</p>
<p>I sent son a Hannukah care package with chocolate truffles, a filled dreidel, etc, leather gloves, etc. I considered that the first night’s gift, and wired money for the other 7 days. When he was home for holidays, he shopped at the “mom’s” store. He hates to shop, but I brought home lots of clothes, and returned about 2/3s. We went together to a ski shop and outfitted him with jacket, ski pants, gloves, hat, and undercltohes. This is the first year that son is living in a cold climate, and first time he will try skiing.</p>
<p>I think I was the real winner. He bought me a Kindle and accessories, and a little stuffed animal wearing a sweater with his school’s name on it. How blessed am I?</p>
<p>One thing I noticed with my older son, who is in grad school, is that we are giving him things that used to be traditional wedding and shower gifts. He is unlikely to marry for at least a few years and really likes to cook. He has the sort of nice knives and small kitchen appliances that, back in my early days, a student could only dream about. Also, I like the fact that he’s starting out with stuff that will last for a good long time, instead of just a few years before it goes to the landfill.</p>
<p>We aren’t huge on Hannukah gift giving in my family, but for a few years when my kids were high school age, we each planned a family day (on my $$). As I recall, one year we went to see the Harlem Globetrotters (planned by S2 who loves sports but acknowledges the rest of us don’t), went to a concert at the Fillmore in SF (planned by S1 who loves music), and last minute changed our hike on Angel Island to going to the free Hardly Strictly Bluegrass concert (my entry)</p>
<p>For the past two years we have done a family cruise as the Christmas gift. We asked our kids if they wanted to have a traditional Christmas at home or do a cruise. The latter won out and everybody is happy and now look forward to an annual family Christmas cruise. It’s so nice not having to shop for the food, prepare it and do dishes.</p>
<p>I declared ~ 8 years ago that all gifts would be home-made. Although it wasn’t met with great enthusiasm, it has turned into a good tradition (we don’t “enforce” it every year, but many of us voluntarily do it). </p>
<p>This doesn’t have to require us all to be skilled craftsmen and artisans - one year DS gave DH a coupon that “Sunday afternoons this summer are reserved for golf with Dad.”</p>
<p>I have given “taste-offs” of 2-3 different homemade jars of hot fudge sauce - makes for a fun Christmas (or Chanukkah) dessert sundae party.</p>
<p>My S has become a very imaginative gift-giver, really thinking about what might be meaningful to us, rather than combing the mall for something we don’t already own.</p>