If Given Options on 3/10, Would You Play to Strengths or Remediate (Relative) Weakness?

Prep School Admissions
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I’ve got a “lives, breathes, and dies” STEM kid (especially the tech/engineering part). 800 on the math SSAT at the end of 7th, in his 2nd semester taking dual enrollment science at a local college, should place into pre-calc next fall, etc., etc.

He loves to read (especially sci fi/fantasy and history/biography) but writing is a relative weakness. He’s good enough at creative writing that combined with his reading skills he pulled off A’s in his English classes but those overall semester grades mask B to B+ grades on persuasive and literary analysis essays. Thank goodness the only school he applied to that required a graded writing sample was one that only made the list because my husband insisted (he would totally get lost in the crowd there).

Anyway, if this were your child and you had options come 3/10, would you send him to a BS that really emphasizes writing like Middlesex or Loomis? Or would you send him to one of the schools that has a super-strong STEM program? All of the schools on his list I think will be fine in both writing instruction and STEM, but some of them are known more for the former and some more for the latter.

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Theoretically, I would encourage him to consider selecting the school that will best challenge him where he is weakest which will prepare him better for college. He doesn’t need a school to make him stronger where he is already strong. Any school on his list can do that. But, all of these schools require strong writing whether or not they have signature writing programs so, most likely, STEM vs. writing will not be the most useful final criteria.

Anecdote: Our son evaluated boarding schools based on film-making attributes. Two years in a row, he had taken first place in an annual digital filmmaking symposium at ASU while still in middle school. He lived with a camera in front of his face and was hell bent on USC’s film school, but he ended up in the military with an EE degree. Go figure. Moral of the story: BS is transformative in ways you can’t possibly imagine at this stage. Don’t focus too much on any single attribute. Boarding school is about the whole package and exploring lots of new things. If he has choices, I would simply allow your son to choose the school he likes best for whatever reason. They all deliver on so many levels. He will get as much STEM and writing as he can consume from any school on his list, and I don’t even have to see the list. :wink:

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Oh man. I really loved the Middlesex writing program but I think that’s out for math. You’d need to check with them if admitted. Specifically you need to speak to the head of the math department, NOT just a teacher. They are surprisingly rigid about math track, I cannot quite recall the detail as it was a while ago, they insisted kids take alg2 or precalc even if kids were beyond that. So I guess if it’s precalc it would work but if it’s alg2 it wouldn’t. However, because I loved the writing program so much I did ask about writing at other schools. Honestly many “emphasize writing” in some way.

Let us know after m10 and we can maybe help with specifics.

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Well I have two STEM kids and I would never send them to a school that wasn’t balanced in all respects. ( Both were SSAT 800 and 99% and had many STEM awards). Writing is important, so is history, art, foreign language, and all. What we looked at was the approach of the school. How does the school work with a kid who is ahead in Math/Science? Are there programs so the kids don’t’ run out of subjects? Are they WILLING to do individual classes of 1 or very small classes of similar kids. The schools my kids applied to fit the bill. Some better than others. One took my kid on a tour of the Science center and talked about some things which were unique to their program, others introduced my kids to the math chair, one asked very detailed questions during the interview about programming ( I had no idea), one talked about astro-photography as a possible art form. Some of these schools want outliers and others’ think that all of their accepted kids are really great and they can meet the needs of everyone. (Some can and some can’t).
We checked out Middlesex ( even applied) but it’s wasn’t a fit. And honestly, it wasn’t in our strong math/science category of schools. We did think the writing program was great ( though strange that it was offered in grade 10). My oldest didn’t really need writing help but found freshman English to be really challenging and the writing center at another BS was also excellent.
I think kids change a lot in BS. So you have to make sure they are strong in every subject. And the best way to check that is curriculum and how many kids they get that are outliers. They will tell you about kids who are similar to your own.

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I am not familiar with all the schools on your list, but I do know that some make it easier, even more possible, to take more science electives than others because of other requirements, sequencing, etc.

While your son may change paths in high school, I would choose the school that offered the most STEM possibilities (not necessarily most classes, btw) should his interests remain unchanged. It seems that more kids move away from STEM than toward it in high school, but that’s just my sense, nothing based on data.

Most BS will do a more than adequate job with writing. Those kids write a lot!

I say this as the parent of a kid whose interests changed during high school as well. And one whose writing was not particularly strong in 9th whose college profs frequently comment on the quality of his writing.

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They told us that starting at pre-calc wouldn’t be a problem and looking at their catalog it seems that trig is a pre-req to all their advanced math courses. My son is currently doing an algebra 2 class that doesn’t include trig (Art of Problem Solving Intermediate Algebra) so that seems appropriate.

Middlesex now offers some interesting looking semester math courses in modeling and coding/algorithms so I hope there would be enough to fill out his 4 years. His safety schools he’d wind up having to do independent study in math for 1 or 2 years.

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There’s a book our company made us read upon being hired (this was a decade ago, so I don’t remember the title but I do remember the concept). It was about playing to your strengths. It talked about the most successful people (including athletes) and why they were successful. It’s because they found something they liked and were talented in at a young age and because of their love and enjoyment, they cultivated that talent until they were the best in their field.
It went on to talk about a study of people who were made to focus on their weaknesses more than their strengths. Those people ended up leaving their environment (school, work, sport, etc) because they were miserable.
In the end, it focused on how the most successful people, the most successful companies , the most successful teams focus on the strengths of its members because it cultivates a successful and enjoyable environment.
That’s not to say they ignore one’s weaknesses…they just don’t focus on them. Everyone has their role where they can contribute their best talents.

This book left a huge impression on me. Every kid applying to BS and college will have a weakness. They were selected for their strengths. Why not put them in an environment that celebrates those strengths and boosts their confidence which in turn, cultivates their talents to an extraordinary level.

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@CrimsonWife

Was it a teacher or ao or the head of the department? There are several kids at our school largely because Middlesex refused to accommodate their math level. As I said, if your son is admitted, make sure you have a frank conversation with the head of the math department.

I personally loved Middlesex but from what I’ve heard the math department head is rigid and not accommodating. Math teachers are lovely and accommodating but they don’t have the power to approve math placement.

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@CrimsonWife Actually, it is very common for kids to have Alg II and not have had trig ( Happened to one of my kids). Trig can be learned very quickly through an online source ( or Summer study) so the kid can move on to Pre-Calc. Also, independent study in math is a positive not a negative. IF the child is very advanced they can modify the study to accommodate future plans. It’s also extremely likely that your child won’t be alone. There are usually a handful of kids so kid might even be in an independent study that connects with others.

Most Asian kids at my kids BS start in Pre-Calc so many are even more advanced than Pre-Calc Freshman year . IF the school won’t allow your child to accelerate unless they meet all standards ( trig, for example), it’s likely your child is going to be bored repeating the same material. And have someone who knows math check out the curriculum. I had my spouse (who was a math major at one point) check it out. Was able to read what it actually entailed. Some programs were apparently much better than others. And your kid might have ideas based on material they have already covered. Mine did. And filling in CS/Engineering isn’t a math.
Ask the math deptment to put in writing the expected sequence for your child, if accepted. It might/might not suit.

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To the OP. Fuel the fire and work on his perceived weakness.

I know nothing about boarding schools. But have an engineering junior at Michigan. He finished math with Multivariate Calc (Calc 3), in high school.

Math, stem kids are notorious not great at writing. I just know too many kids of both genders this would apply to. I also have a right brain and left brain child
They are so different. All in a good way

So it would be horrible to take math centric kid and stick them into a writing centric school if that is your question. Of course a balanced school would be best. But…

For my son he challenged himself since he knew writing was his weakness. He took as 2 of his 8 APs, the AP seminar AP research sequence. It’s a 2 year program that changed his life according to him. His school was #1 in our state and only took 12 kids for it. He actually fought his way in. (figuratively).

He did a large research paper on Augmented Reality and it’s use in medicine. Became a really good writer /researcher. First year college writing was a breeze.

At Michigan they said something to the engineering students that struck a cord with him. Maybe your son should hear this now. They said “stereotypically engineers are not good communicators. To those that will stay that way you will be part of a team. That is fine. But to those that become good communicators /writers… You will lead that team”. So the introverted type kid that went to college is no longer and actually a really good writer/communicator … Lol…

Fuel his interests so he doesn’t get bored

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Send him to a school that will help him with the writing. Being able to communicate in a clear manner will help him in the long run. Boarding schools are very good at teaching this skill.

Plenty of time for him to learn STEM later in college. But best time to learn fundamental writing skills is in high school.

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I couldn’t agree more with @Knowsstuff and @buuzn03. It is so deeply embedded in my soul to nurture strengths that I had to read the original post several times to understand the question (and I might be misunderstanding it still; internet posts are easy to get wrong). I kept thinking: Why on earth would someone (especially a kid) who is weak at writing put themselves in a 4-year program where the strength is writing, and thus great writers are celebrated (and: the resources follow), all in the hopes of whipping that weakness into shape? Oh gosh that sounds like a way to kill the joy of learning, and given how involved the BS experience is – kill the joy of daily life. Plus, what a missed opportunity to be surrounded by like-minded (and like-talented) people at the top of one’s deepest passion. Isn’t that where the magic in life is? Settling deep into one’s area of interest, getting lost in the wonder of it, so that you stay an extra three hours in the library working on a project because you truly love it so and lost track of time? Will that kid lose track of time working on a writing assignment or on a STEM project? The answer to that would drive my decision on where I would want my kid to attend school. I want my kids to lose track of time in their projects and work in life because they are so taken by the subject.

Of course we need to address our weaknesses. Any of these boarding schools will have the intellectual infrastructure to educate our kids in all academic areas. So a not-great writer will learn to write before graduation; I’m sure of it. And will get enough writing to become that leader mentioned in @Knowsstuff post, if that’s the goal.

So to answer the original question – I would focus on the strengths. To do otherwise goes against everything I believe to be true about deep work, and celebrating the unique mark we each get to make on this world.

1 Like
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Though more interested in math, our son left BS equally strong in math and writing due to the depth of writing instruction and constant writing requirements, and his grades reflected that balance. Those writing and communication skills served him well in college as he graduated with two published papers, one of which took second place at the IEEE MIT Undergraduate Research Technology Conference his junior year. He writes a mean English paper, too. He’s now finishing up the Army’s Cyber Basic Officer Leadership Course where he is excelling among that cohort of technically trained officers due to his ability to present/communicate solutions, not just solve technical problems. <end of="" brag="" ;)="">

I agree with @Knowsstuff that a balanced school is best, but I always assume that most of the schools discussed on this forum have the ability to challenge and meet most student’s needs regardless of where a student is particularly strong. I would also assume/hope that an applicant would not apply to any known subject-area lopsided school that cannot support the applicant’s main strength and interest. Interlochen, for example, would not be a good choice for a performer who is interested in pursuing an engineering career (those kids DO exist), but Choate might be. It doesn’t appear that the OP is considering such an extreme, though.

For most kids, even those who seem to be math prodigies coming in to BS, most boarding schools will be able to well serve and round out that pointiness if that is a goal. If the goal is simply to play to strength, then choose the school that lays claim to the strength, but my vote still goes to any school that can serve both (balance) but that will encourage the student to work on the weaker area and provide strong instruction and practice in that area because I also agree with @sgopal2 that the best time to learn (and master) fundamental writing skills is in high school. It’s damn near impossible to play catch-up with writing.

(@buuzn03: Was the book you read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers discussing the 10,000 hours of effort that leads to a high level of success in whatever that effort is put to? If so, there is a lot of controversy over his use of and conclusions from that data, but it is an interesting read.)

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@ChoatieMom no it wasn’t Outliers, although I have read that book and we still have it in our bookcase. I can’t, for the life of me, remember that other book—though it’s concepts rang even more true than Outliers.

@Calliemomofgirls thank you for expanding on my post in a more elaborate and eloquent manner. I think you drove in my point much better than I ever could.

I think all boarding schools will focus on writing to the point that our kids will be able to communicate well and succeed in college. But not all will be able to give kids the chance to flourish in their pointy subject as much as others, whatever that may be.

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Good points @ChoatieMom and @buuzn03. I’ll add to my comments above, in case it’s not obvious, that selecting a school that plays to one’s strengths is a personal question of alignment and fit. Most of these larger players on the BS scene are capable of challenging even the truly smartest of kids in all areas. But maybe at revisits, a specific STEM offering or curriculum will make a child’s eyes light up. Or perhaps a philosophy in the writing approach or a flagship program will be the factor that tips the decision. In any case, I would look for those things that would indicate a school would nurture the sparks, the strengths, in my kid, versus searching for fantastic program in her weak areas, hoping it will fix them.

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Sorry to engage on a BS thread that I don’t know about but… My son went to a selective enrollment high school, public, in Chicago. You need a 99.7% or above to even be considered. So it might be similar to BS…

This again was the states top school. I mention this because each school taught differently. I think they used the UChicago math curriculum. This is very heavy writing for math. You have to actually write out and explain in detail your answers. They focused on doing problems more intensely for understanding and not just doing more problems of the same type. We thought this would do him in but he actually flourished. Sure more technical writing but it’s almost exactly what he did on college. They also forced this math kids to explain the problems verbally…

Something like this might be good and seeing how each school teaches math might be important
At the number 2 school (now number 1… Lol) he didn’t like the way they taught math. He recognized this right away at the open house.

Also only on CC is getting a B a bad grade. But I get it, for these selective schools in Chicago you need all “A” ‘s even to be looked at. When my son was getting B’ s in English, writing etc we discovered he had a reading comp issue that led to writing being delayed a bit. We knew something wasn’t right. Not trying to make him perfect just trying to get him to his potential, if that makes sense.

My daughter on the hand went to a private performing arts high school in Chicago for musical theater. Graduating college this year and finishing her senior thesis at her Lac. 50 page paper is a joy to her. That would do my son in. Lol. Right brain VS left brain

Know thy child ?

Good luck.

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BS isn’t just about academics. See where there is a culture fit and where he is most likely to make friends and be happy.
Enjoy revisits.

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Also, the perception that someone who is good at math isn’t good at writing isn’t true. It’s the same kind of thinking that infers that people who are intelligent are also scatterbrained. There are many for whom skills vary a lot. And cross right brain to left and back. Artists who are mathy, writers who love science, history students for whom science is a breeze. As many combinations as humans. There are often threads on CC which debate the merits of STEM. Honestly, your kid at this age has strengths and weaknesses but can likely still pursue a lot of subjects. Don’t burden them with linear thinking regarding what they are good at and what they aren’t.

Make sure the school fits, has the subjects your kid likely wants to take and will allow your kid to thrive in MANY areas.

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I know this generation is different than the last, in that it is much more common for bright students to be accelerated at math. But that does not mean that there are more bright students than before; it means they have taken more math courses.

What I am saying is that, especially at this age, intelligence is intelligence. Irrespective of the proportion of intelligence that is genetic, one thing is crystal clear from intelligence research: if one is good in one thing, one is good in another. This is called the “g factor”.

In other words, intelligence is not pointy — quite the opposite. People become pointy for all sorts of environmental reasons. But they are not naturally pointy (in general; I am not referring to those with learning differences, on the spectrum etc.)

If your kid is pointy at 13 already, that’s the environment at work, perhaps one you have created. I do not think that is necessarily a good thing for kids that age (it might be a good thing later, say, in college, or towards the end of high school, or in the business world).

In other words, if your kid is “smart,” that should be true in both math, verbal, writing and all sorts of subsets of cognitive abilities. If one of those has been neglected (or not nurtured as much as the others), that neglect needs to be remedied. There is no better time for that to occur than high school.

Another thought: whenever I hear about pointy kids in the academic (not arts or sports) context, it seems invariably to be in math or STEM. Might I suggest that this disproportion stems (pardon the pun) from the fact that it is far easier for kids (with the proper environmental influences, mind you) to be “pointy” in these subjects? And, because it is that much more common, that the pointiness as not as pointy as many think, if you get my point?

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As a working scientist - this is so true!!! The most successful scientists have to be good at science, but they also need to be good managers of the people in their lab, good colleagues of their peers and above all else(!) be able to write first-draft in the preferred style of a wide variety of outlets - grants, journals, technical reports, books etc. It’s a write & publish or perish world for STEM people and a scientist who can’t write has limited career prospects.