<p>I would not have tried to keep a bad marriage intact because DS needed both parents together. The stress between the two of us was more obvious than I thought and took its toll on son.</p>
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<p>If this helps, Marian, I can tell you, "Nope! Wouldn’t have mattered! ;)</p>
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<p>You can still influence them, even with simple habits. My parents started cooking organic and growing much of their own food after I left for college, but when I look back, this time period influences me the most. As parents, we can continue to be a positive force throughout our children’s lives, even when they are adults.</p>
<p>Heck, my parents still influence me & my kids; it’s never TOO late. When my mom went back to college for her masters when we were all finally in school & just before my older sister started college, mom got straight As & got even more than usual into healthy eating and did her darndest to influence all of us; she largely succeeded.</p>
<p>I’m another of the “worry less, enjoy it more” school; am still trying to apply it and it is working better & better as the kids show us that they’re happy stumbling along on their own, sometimes surprising all of us!?!?!</p>
<p>Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? My five bad naughty kittens little AGAIN??</p>
<p>Just reading the thread post gave me cold sweats!!! With the 5 of them being 1 year apart (well almost- #2 and #3 10 mos!!) I am so thankful I made it out, no sanity left however. Just gone, POOF!</p>
<p>Now that they are traversing the med school apps and grad school decisions I have found that I do miss the glue and glitter, the stinky football cleats, the chlorine-soaked bags and all the snotty noses and chocolate smeared couches.</p>
<p>Granted I was extremely young and even more stupid, but no I would not have changed anything. I love them to pieces and they know it. All the rest is just stuff. It was a ton of fun, it is different now with them checking in and flying through more contentment.</p>
<p>A little worry left, but very different in scope, I transferred most of it to them!! Their lives…</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>A couple bits of advice I’d give new parents:
- Never forbid child from doing something “until he’s 18”. FOR Example A parent might say- “No tattoos until you’re 18!” Then, sure enough, the kid reaches 18, wants a tattoo, then parent says “Not in my house!” Parent looks like an unreasonable liar that cannot be trusted. And, in fact, the parent would be. We always chose to say- “Not until you’re a self supporting adult”</p>
<p>2) Always have child visit/play with door open when in his room. Point out to child when Mommy or Daddy have guests, they don’t visit behind closed bedroom door. Then, when older teen child gets a visitor of opposite sex, it isn’t something new and sudden that parent wants door open.</p>
<p>I would have started attending church with my D earlier than I did, which was 6th grade.</p>
<p>I also would have focused in more on telling the truth. All parents of little kids should be warned about that one. You really need to focus on it, because the current youth culture does not value truth-telling.</p>
<p>Would have made better use of all of the craft and kit stuff I bought while inspired…</p>
<p>though
I had to laugh at the NO Glitter post…
as all I could think of was…OMG, glitter in the carpet, on floors…forever… and ever…and ever…</p>
<p>One of my favorite pics is of our student making meatloaf with my husband.
They sat on the floor of the kitchen so our student could help squish the meat in the big bowl
…and then when in the pan–our child put an “handprint” on top to “put in the love”
our student still remembers that…</p>
<p>I have a niece that is a preschool teacher and she loves the mess; the messier the better! At home with her 2 girls she will have them do all sorts of activities; she loves glitter, paint, glue, cooking, etc with the girls. I do wish I had been more like her, although I wouldn’t want my house to look like hers!! You know those arts and craft gifts your children received as birthday gifts that you never let them open; those of the things my niece wants to buy for her girls.</p>
<p>I would have taken the kids to church more often. </p>
<p>I would have established some baking traditions.</p>
<p>In my post #7, I said I wished I had set a better example of regular exercise. Yesterday, my son told me he’s started going to the gym at school. Funny, but I didn’t think he read CC.</p>
<p>I was a SAHM for several years and I regret over-volunteering. My kids are 5 years apart so S was very young when I let myself be “guilted” into doing all this stuff. I really enjoyed some of it (school library, swim team, girl scouts), but I wish I had just said “no” more often and spent more time with my own kids.</p>
<p>^^Have done alot of vol stuff too over the years…community, school, church, etc</p>
<p>In more recent years I decided to do less–and now most of my vol time is spent supporting my students’ sports…and a little bit in the community that happens while they are at school as so to not conflict with family time.</p>
<p>Both my husband and I have had “sad” moments in the last week–realizing how in 18 mos - our first will be off to college. A happy launching, yes, and also a realization that we have 18 mos to do a better job to be “really present”.
kwim?</p>
<p>I would have offered up messy casseroles to my 1 year old to eat with her fingers.</p>
<p>I always thought that spagetti was so messy for my toddler so I continued to put less and less sauce on it. Big mistake. She then spent the last 18 years eating pasta with butter only. (At 20, she has come over to the dark side now and really loves sauce!).</p>
<p>Feed them lots of messy, green, canned, spicy, bland, colorful, white, big, and small foods the minute we leave the baby food world! I am convinced I could have avoided the picky eater syndrome!</p>
<p>^^ thats a good one.</p>
<p>Mine are not picky eaters— however–I cook lots of differnet types of stuff–and my mantra was --if you don’t want to eat now–wait until the next meal (no snacks)</p>
<p>I know lots of other teens that prefer milder or plainer foods— I think some of it is like preferences in art, music etc…just a matter of taste…</p>
<p>One of mine is great at keeping the room clean, drawers orderly etc…the other not at all…I keep wondering what I did differently to get that!</p>