<p>OK-- while I have been generally happy with how things have rolled out over the last 16+ yrs…
Here’s what I would change IF I could do it again or give advice to a new parent…</p>
<p>How about you?</p>
<p>–I would allow more Playdough and clay…and worry less about the mess on the kitchen floor. Same goes for paints…</p>
<p>–I would have a better un-schedule for dc2 since dc2’s eating/nap schedule was too dependent upon dc1’s pre-school pick-up/drop off schedule. </p>
<p>:rolleyes:</p>
<p>fogfog: That second one is pretty universal I think, 
but on the other hand I think it tends to make younger kids perhaps more easy going?</p>
<p>Me: I would have forced the “family table” issue even when conflicting football and soccer schedules made it difficult/impossible. I think I abdicated that too easily, rationalizing that we spent oodles of family time together in other realms of our lives.</p>
<p>I was great about allowing plenty of playdough and clay, but not so good about teaching the importance of clean-up and the “mom isn’t the maid” lesson.</p>
<p>^^ historymom</p>
<p>I/we have enforced the family dinner time–and it has been great–
we still do dinner as a family at the table most nights of the week…occassionally scouts or a mtg might get in the way–
But we try to have dinner together 4 times during the week, and at least once on the weekend…now with a hs student and the “social life” that brings, usually one night a weekend is spent with friends…</p>
<p>Actually we have gotten some push-back when we declined to do something–for example -our kids don’t do Wed night youthgroup because of schoolwork, sports and family dinner…
they aren’t in the house until 6:30p/7p…as it is–so for us dinner and slowing down is better than racing out again…</p>
<p>moon…
yeah I just hated how crumbly playdough can be–and knew clay does not come out of carpet etc…
I think however my kids would have better handwriting if they had had more time with clay…</p>
<p>I used to say that instead of a house–I needed a winnebago so I could feed my kids in the parking lots near the sports fields!</p>
<p>I would have allowed my kids to help in the kitchen. I didn’t want them to help cook because I didn’t want to clean up the mess they made or to go as slow as they needed me to go. With two children with ADHD all I wanted was them to be outside while I cooked!</p>
<p>snowball I can’t blame you there! LOL</p>
<p>fog fog: We do an extended family (grand parents, aunts and uncles) dinner almost every night during the summer but during the school year we have made due with Thursdays…aka Survivor Night and usually one or two nights w/ the grandparents. Now that my girls are off at college and it is just my S and H at home, it has become easier but it is NOT as regular as I would like it to be.</p>
<p>I would have been a better role model for exercising. Of course, it isn’t too late to do that!</p>
<p>Enjoy every moment and don’t miss a chance to tell your child that you love them.</p>
<p>The one piece of advice I always give a new parent… Read and understand the book “1-2-3 Magic” by Thomas Phelan Ph.D. - a wonderful and quick read that teaches new (all) parents that kids just want your attention and that when you discipline by yelling, explaining, or getting emotionally caught you have lost because they have your attention (even if it’s negative attention). So reward your kid by giving them your attention when they are behaving, exploring and full of wonder, and not giving them your attention when they are acting out. A family dynamic / life changing book for many people…</p>
<p>Worried less because things will work out. Hey maybe I should practice this in everyday life :)</p>
<p>I would never have allowed glitter into my house.</p>
<p>I would not have worked. I missed too much and feel bad about some stuff where I was stressed and in a hurry and not there for them the way I should have been. Ironically, I worked to save for college but if I hadn’t our older one in college would probably have received some FA.</p>
<p>My other regret is not getting one of my kids on accutane a LOT earlier to clear up the acne - too much suffering needlessly through high school. Side effects be damned. It is a wonder drug and I kiss the feet of those who created it and I only wish we’d got our child on it a year or two earlier. Acne leaves scars beyond the skin.</p>
<p>No regrets on play dough, glitter or kitchen participation. We basically lived in a sty while they were growing up. You have lots of time afterwards to keep it clean.</p>
<p>I’m with lamom on this one: I would have worried less. Still trying to worry less (with mixed results.)</p>
<p>I can’t even read this thread. I’m immediately jumping to “post quick reply”, because I know if I read it, the guilt of all my wrongdoings will overwhelm me. :(</p>
<p>They’re in great schools, on Dean’s List, and have never been arrested (knock on head). Quick, please somebody tell me I didn’t screw up for 18 years.</p>
<p>You didn’t screw up.</p>
<p>I would have taken more advantage – and tried to convince my husband to take more advantage – of the power of “modeling” behaviors for your kids, or what is traditionally called “setting an example.”</p>
<p>As my kids grew up, I could see how automatically and painlessly they followed our example on things that came to my husband and me naturally, such as great respect for safety rules (it would have been unthinkable for one of my kids to not use a seat belt or bike helmet) and an interest in music (one ended up playing three instruments; the other only played two but was an All-State musician in high school). </p>
<p>I will always wonder what would have happened if we had made a deliberate effort to model other behaviors. Would my son have developed better eating habits if we had been more enthusiastic about vegetables? Would my daughter have become a reader if we had been more enthusiastic about books? I will never know. But if I had it to do over again, I would have tried to find out.</p>
<ol>
<li> I would NOT cook them separate food. All 3 remained picky until their teens.</li>
</ol>
<p>I’m sure I am not the only one for this, but a BIG regret I have:</p>
<ol>
<li> I would have started saving for college sooner. Seriously, it always seemed so far away!</li>
</ol>
<p>Every time he crawled up on the couch for a cuddle, or grabbed my leg for snuggle while I cooked, or wanted to sit in my lap while I tired to read, I would stop and have a fierce snuggle. At eighteen I am lucky if I can give him a kiss on the top of his head twice a week.</p>
<p>I would have worried less and enjoyed it more.</p>
<p>of course, I could still use to worry less and enjoy it more. Perhaps in my next life. :)</p>
<p>I wish I had put my career goals behind being a better Dad and Husband.</p>
<p>I would have listened to my own intuition rather than the so-called experts. Fortunately, I learned this lesson fairly early on, but not soon enough for some things.</p>