If the kid had a disadvantaged start there could be other things that you could do to help him see a bigger world. Are there any science museums in your area? Spending an afternoon with him could be both fun bonding and a chance to observe what piques his interest.
“This may be one of the most obnoxious, arrogant things I have seen from a parent on CC. You are talking about someone who is probably 16. It’s not too late for him to become an awesome anything, except maybe a hockey player or figure skater. (I don’t know of any awesome skaters who started that late.)”
I wrote that it is too late for a TRADITIONAL track. As someone who has experienced success on a non-traditional track, it is possible for the kid to become successful. You can’t just cram tons and tons and tons of math into someone’s head who hasn’t had it, and then expect them to compete with the kids who’ve had good foundation classes and support their entire life.
Try reading what I wrote more carefully-I’m trying to keep this kid sane and happy in a very new and what must be stressful situation for him. THAT’s the only important thing; not whether he becomes a super star.
In my arrogant, obnoxious opinion, of course. Shame on me for worrying about the kid more than his potential career. And I’m sorry, but the way the OP phrased the title and the way he talks about his wife (not the ex, my bad), comes off as really cold, and that really gets my mom hackles ruffled.
OP, please listen to @MotherOfDragons.
There are two things going on here – your stepson’s academics and the relationships in your new family. The latter are more important than the former.
I like JHS’s suggestions too. I would say though that IF he ends up the year with a strong grade in Algebra 2, he might consider doing pre-calc/trig in the summer. It will depend on your school system if this is a viable option, but in our school there were always a handful of kids who did this so that they could take calculus sooner. They were usually the strong not the weak math students, so this is only an option if he seems to be on a solid basis by the end of the year.
Students from our high school who were not superstars in high school math have graduated from engineering programs at decent if not elite schools.
I think @MotherOfDragons is suggesting that this student should be careful about matriculating to a college where most students entering calc 1, 2 or 3, and AP/IB physics, chemistry, or compsci, have learned a good bit of the material in high school and are spending most of their energy adjusting to a large lecture format. Some of these traditional engineering students have been coding since early childhood and participating in STEM EC’s on a regular basis for many years before matriculating into an engineering program.
Students who decide late in high school that they want a STEM major - even “B” students - often find that two year colleges offer intro classes in the engineering pre-req’s geared to beginners who did not demonstrate outstanding performance in high school. Years ago, a Penn State professor told us that he had seen many students fitting this profile wash out in the competitive environment on main campus, who would have been fine if they had begun at a two year campus or community college.
Here’s what I don’t see answered: as a stepparent, especially a new one, you can’t be a savior without risking being too controlling. You have lots yet to learn in this relationship.
And successful engineering requires more than good math skills. It needs a mindset- my view is slanted but the questions are: is he a curious sort, does he get when it’s about bandying “ideas” and when it’s about the necessary precision and focus? Is he a tinkerer sort or he just thinks it would be “neat,” as so many kids do, to invent a better prosthetic leg, the next Apple phone or somehow save the world? Kind of like when many of us wanted to be astronauts or Indiana Jones.
By all means, work toward closeness. How you help him can’t be judged in advance and, I think, not always with “a plan,” other than to build the relationship.
With all due respect, your post sounds as if you’re asking whether this particular stock is a good bet. It has previously performed below expected levels, but that might just be due to the recent recession. Will I get a good ROI if I invest in it now?
I don’t think you’re that callous, but I don’t think you’re asking the right question either. That question should be, “how can I help my stepson work toward his newly stated goal?” And the answer is “do anything you can.” It is always worth investing in a child, but what you invest doesn’t necessarily need to be money.
Get to know him. Find out why he wants to be an engineer. Help him see the difference between a good engineering candidate’s GPA and his own. Ask him what he thinks he can do to bring up his grades and be available to him to answer math questions whenever you can. If he wants a tutor, and you can afford it, hire one.
But keep your expectations for a turn-around reasonable. A gifted math student can perform well even at a low-achieving school, so this may not be his thing. If it turns out that he’s not cut out for engineering, help him research careers that may satisfy his interest in engineering without its demands.
I agree it’s important to learn why he’s saying engineering, whether it’s real or said to impress the new stepdad. I don;t mean that harshly, but all the dynamics are new here. Part of my inclination- my imo- is, “one step at a time.”
Btw, I couldn’t even affect my own kids’ turnarounds. It takes time. And my own brother is an example of an under-performer in hs, who later went on to work in an engineering environment- not as an engineer, but with all the detail, data, responsibility. But at the hs age, even with tutors, he didn’t grasp the big picture. He had to grow into that.
Many students for whom a four-year engineering track may appear too math-intensive, turn to engineering technology programs, which include two-year programs with a more hands-on focus:
http://www.abet.org/accreditation/new-to-accreditation/engineering-vs-engineering-technology/
Perhaps this might be a more attainable goal with real payoffs. You can search the ABET site for programs, including in your area, that might be a good fit for your stepson: http://main.abet.org/aps/Accreditedprogramsearch.aspx.
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask whether a student’s poor performance is due to a lack of ability or lack of access to appropriate instruction, a lack of a firm foundation or inefficient study habits. We asked this for our kids when the issue came up, were pointed towards “other kids” who were “doing better”, and advised to stop then and there, and found that while we could not guarantee degree of improvement, it was possible to “clean up” after poor instruction by getting a good diagnostic and working from there.
And, then, lo and behold, sometimes our kids were the ones who were “doing better” even after tutoring stopped, and other parents (including a couple teachers) took us aside to ask what had worked. Sadly, in a k-12 setting, few educators showed any curiosity about the source of the improvement, so were likely no help at all to the next student who came along with similar issues.
Other times, we saw no improvement and pulled the plug in spite of protests from providers that we had not tried long or hard enough. It is helpful to get a good idea of what needs to happen, and then how to tell whether it has actually happened or not, ideally when a third party who is not aware of the tutoring or therapy notices a change after a couple of months or so.
Right now, OP’s SS has an interest in becoming an engineer and perhaps this interest will motivate him to excel at math,even if he did not do so previously. It is truly a gift to him to give him the chance to find out whether this can be realistic. One suggestion I would make would be to take a look at the Coursera class, “Learning How to Learn.” The professor teaching this class, Barbara Oakley, began STEM studies at age 26, after earning another degree and after a history of poor performance in high school STEM classes.
I do not think that the OP is unreasonable for asking whether he will experience sharp improvements. Every parent asks this when considering music lessons, athletic coaching, all manner of tutoring and remedial instruction, therapies, unless perhaps they have unlimited funds at their disposal. And even with unlimited funds, there is the manner of wasting time that could be spent on other pursuits.
OP - Have you or your wife talked to his school counselor? My oldest is an EE major didn’t have any problem with math. However our middle son who is a Junior did/does. At our school some of the math teachers tutor after school for a reasonable per hour cost. It helps my son tremendously. Plus his tutor can talk to his math teacher to see what is coming up and how he is doing. I would look check to see if any of the teachers at his school tutor math on the side.