If you are from Joisey

emeraldkity4 · January 17, 2006, 4:35pm

You’ve been seriously injured at Action Park.

You know that the only people who call it “Joisey” are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.

You don’t think of citrus when people mention “The Oranges.”

You know that it’s called “Great Adventure,” not “Six Flags.”

You’ve ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.

You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.

You’ve eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.

Whenever you park, there’s a Camaro within three spots of you.

You remember that the “Two Guys” were from Harrison.

You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery.

At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.

You know what a “jug handle” is.

You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.

You know that the state isn’t all farmland.

You know that there are no “beaches” in new Jersey - there’s “The Shore,” and you know that the road to the shore is “The Parkway” not “The Garden State Highway.”

You know that “Piney” isn’t referring to a tree.

Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a “sub” not a “submarine sandwich” or worse yet, a “hoagy” or a “hero.”

You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.

You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.

You knew that the last question had to do with driving.

You know that “Acme” is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.

You know that this is the only “New…” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it (like, try …Mexico, …York, …Hampshire (doesn’t work, does it?).

You know how to translate this conversation: “Jeet yet?” “No, Jew?”

You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it “The City.”

You know that a “White Castle” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.

In the 80’s you wore your hair REALLY high.

You don’t think “What exit” (do you live near?) is very funny.

You know that the real first “strip shopping center” in the country is Route 22.

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that’s for out-of-staters.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.

You’ve gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.

You’ve eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.

You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony.

You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.

You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.

You weren’t raised in New Jersey – you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.

You don’t consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.

You remember the stores Korvette’s, Two Guys, Rickel’s, Channel, Bamberger’s and Orbach’s.

You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

You’ve never pumped your own gas.

You know what pork roll is.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Jersey.

audiophile · January 17, 2006, 4:43pm

You forgot one:

You understand why it’s necessary to be in the right lane when you want to go left.

m_amp_sdad · January 17, 2006, 4:48pm

You know that a “White Castle” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

White Castle: Where burgers and fries are known as “rat burgers and tails”, but if you try to order them that way the fast food folks won’t acknowledge your order.

Where they have really cool town names like Ho Ho Kus, Mahwah, Hackensack and Weehawken…

You remember Crazy Eddies, whose prices are “insane!”

You are still waiting for “big time” college football, promised at Rutgers since the early eighties.

Former resident, Bergen County, Parkway Exit 163.

emeraldkity4 · January 17, 2006, 4:49pm

I can’t take credit for these- I have never been any farther east than the missouri river.

I don’t understand the pumping gas thing- I just came back from Portland and you can’t pump gas there either-

audiophile · January 17, 2006, 4:53pm

They did get a bowl bid this year (OK, the Insight Bowl). And they almost won. Maybe next year…

northeastmom · January 17, 2006, 4:56pm

NJ thinks it is too dangerous for the consumer to pump their own gas.

jmmom · January 17, 2006, 5:03pm

I’m glad you snuck in the Pork Roll. My favorite. I ordered some Taylor Pork Roll from a web site a while back, but never got it :(. Can’t find it around here (altho I could get it when I lived in Washington, DC area).

What are those signs for turning? (I remember two out of 3 parts, I think): __________ Turns, All Turns, No Turns.

If only NJ could get rid of the NJ Tpk, that would up its likability quotient quite a bit.

MomofWildChild · January 17, 2006, 5:08pm

One correction (from a former Philly girl)- it’s Da Shore, not THE Shore.

Hilarious- thanks.

barrons · January 17, 2006, 5:14pm

Pretty accurate. As I actually mentioned Two Guys here in a regular post I think my NJ cred is 100%. 
The sell real Taylor Pork Roll at the Italian market in Pike Place. I always wonder who else buys it.

tsdad · January 17, 2006, 5:33pm

I used to eat Taylor pork roll sandwiches at Opdykes (sp?) on Rt. 22 in North Plainfield which was from the Planters Peanuts store that had the guy in the peanut suit walking around outside. My family had a furntiture store on 22.

beck86nj · January 17, 2006, 5:45pm

When I went to Philmont the summer after sophomore year of high school my crew asked everyone we met if they’d heard of pork roll. The only [non New Jersey] person who had was 1 vegetarian from CA.

audiophile · January 17, 2006, 5:51pm

I lived in NJ for 6 years, but never developed a taste for it. I hated the smell when my apartment mate was cooking it.

alwaysamom · January 17, 2006, 6:02pm

I think that some of these were obviously written by someone from North Jersey. I grew up in South Jersey and a hoagie was a hoagie, never a sub.

I’m surprised there was no mention of soft pretzels or TastyCakes. WE definitely had a Circle in our town. It was one of many in the area but I think they’ve all been eliminated now which is kind of sad. I remember learning to drive and trying to maneuver around the Ellisburg circle which was deadly.

audiophile · January 17, 2006, 6:04pm

Always,

Sounds like you had the Philly influence: Tastycakes, Soft Pretzels & Hoagies.

pretetmanger · January 17, 2006, 6:04pm

Amazing drivers in that state. Family member from NJ says New Jersey invented left turn on red . . . .

alwaysamom · January 17, 2006, 6:06pm

audiophile, you’re right. Was born just outside Philly and grew up in Medford. :)

marcyr · January 17, 2006, 6:06pm

ROFL! Man, did this bring back memories! I particularly liked “you know that the only people who call it ‘Joisey’ are from New York” - I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, Oh, you’re from New JOIsey (emphasize the oi sound)? My reply is always, no, I’m from New JERsey, only New Yorkers call it Joisey. Also loved the “what exit?” one. No one in NJ knows cities, just exits on the Parkway or the Turnpike.

Does anyone else know what a Sloppy Joe is (and I don’t mean that glop you make with ground beef)?

garland · January 17, 2006, 6:07pm

MofWC–never heard “Da shore” anywhere outside of The Sopranos. And I grew up on the Shore (or rather, Down the Shore.)

My usual addition to this list–you know at least three people who have personal “Springsteen” encounter stories.

Such as:

I went to the same HS as Miami Steve.
My best friend was friends with Danny Federici’s ex-wife.
My H’s friend almost ran Bruce down while delivering prescriptions.
The grandma of the family across the street met Bruce in a park in Red BAnk and said he was a very nice young man.

alwaysamom · January 17, 2006, 6:09pm

marcy, I remember visiting a friend in north Jersey one time and we ate at a local diner and had their version of sloppy joes. They were similar to what most people call a Reuben sandwich.

mootmom · January 17, 2006, 6:13pm

You remember the stores Korvette’s, Two Guys, Rickel’s, Channel, Bamberger’s and Orbach’s.

I kissed my first boy in the parking lot at EJ Korvettes, and I remember when whole sections of Two Guys was roped off and with lights turned off on Sundays because of blue laws.

I found Tastycakes out here in CA a couple years ago, but my Safeway stopped carrying them.

Margate Elephant, The Flagship, or Bowcraft Playland, anyone?

–Exit 135.

If you are from Joisey

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