<p>…and they said it was because of you, what would you do?</p>
<p>Oh dear…I think I would seek counseling for child and possibly together with parent , if it wasn’t already going on.</p>
<p>I would put away my feelings of “How could I have prevented this?”, and figure out how to get my child help, REGARDLESS of whatever reason they stated for cutting.</p>
<p>Seek professional help immediately and not rely on CC. Good luck.</p>
<p>Are you a student or parent? If you are a student PLEASE get professional help this minute.</p>
<p>I would not only get professional help for my daughter, but I’d find a therapist for myself, too.</p>
<p>I have many patients in my practice that cut. It is very common now, and I believe partly a learned behavior that then becomes compulsive. I would intervene immediately with a competent therapist who has a lot of experience with adolescents. I would NOT give my child an option about this. </p>
<p>It CAN be addressed, as can the underlying psychic pain. Do not address the blame factor, just see this as a sign that your child needs help you cannot give her (I assume her) and seek good help.</p>
<p>Be a willing, proactive, positive presence and participate in therapy as directed by the therapist. </p>
<p>If you are the child and think your parent didn’t respond “correctly” then seek the help of another adult. School psychologists, your pediatrician, a trusted teacher etc can help point you in the right direction.</p>
<p>Cutting leaves permanent scars on your body. They don’t go away. Cutting can become habitual and get out of control quickly. If you are cutting or you know someone who is then seek help to address the inner pain you are feeling so that you don’t feel compelled to cut.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>I told my parent and he said it’s because I’ve blocked my parents out I can’t get comfort from them. Then I said I wouldn’t have blocked them out in the first place if they weren’t so close minded and unaccepting. Then he said whatever I disagreed on him about, I should look at his point of view because he has more life experience than me.
I just posted the thread to make sure that most parents can handle this better than mine. It’s good to know.</p>
<p>Don’t write him off yet. Parents are flawed just like all people. I’m sure he loves you and wants to be a good parent. All parents make mistakes with their kids, sometimes bad mistakes. Give him a chance to adjust and tell him you want to get counseling.</p>
<p>Kids say many things for many reasons.</p>
<p>I generally try not to take their behavior personally even though that can be hard to do, some kids lash out more than others.
If they were behaving in a destructive manner, I would want to make sure they were getting support, meeting with a therapist regularly, possibly even a psychiatrist for an evaluation to see if medication would help them.</p>
<p>Depending on circumstances, I might also find a family therapist or an individual therapist for myself.</p>
<p>Agreatperhaps - Jamicakes and others have given you good advice. I hope you are receiving help from a good therapist. Parents make mistakes - we are human. One thing I have always told my kids: There is no problem we cant solve if we work together. I’m sending ((HUGS)) and praying for you.</p>
<p>like people have said, parents aren’t perfect. when you cut yourself, it <em>is</em> your doing, and though that’s not the best thing to tell someone’s who is cutting, parents sometimes can be overly blunt with their children. just like when kids sometimes say things without thinking.
hope everything works out for you <3</p>
<p>I did not say anything without thinking. And by saying “it <em>is</em> your doing” shows me you know nothing about cutting or depression. That’s like saying bullies aren’t responsible after a kid kills themselves.</p>
<p>If a person cuts him or herself they aren’t thinking straight. I don’t take hurtful things people say when they are self destructive personally. A person that cuts themself needs help figuring out why they are self destructive. A person that believes what a self destructive person is saying can also perhaps find talking to a professional therapeutic.</p>
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<p>Rather than assigning blame to either you or your parents for your cutting, a competent therapist would help you focus on the problems rather than the symptoms.</p>
<p>I hope your family seeks out and gets the help it needs. If your parents won’t go to family therapy, go without them. Good luck, I hope you can find some enlightenment and peace which will heal your emotional pain and stop the physical damage you are inflicting upon yourself.</p>
<p>I agree–please confide in a trusted adult (like a favorite teacher, church member, older relative), so you can get the therapy you need to help keep you from physically harming yourself by getting some emotional healing. Cutting is NOT something to be regarded lightly and unfortunately not something us strangers can really help as much as we’d like. A lot of therapists will adjust or reduce fees if you have no money. Good luck! Please take action now to get help in your real life.</p>
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oh no, I didn’t mean that you specifically said anything without thinking. I was just saying that parents are imperfect, just like children are. I didn’t mean that you said anything in this specific scenario, just that kids sometimes do that generally, so parents sometimes do that generally too.
and there are many outside factors to these things, but there is an element of choice. the bullies are responsible for being horrible to that person, but it is still someone’s choice to commit suicide.
that’s why we have therapy. therapy doesn’t change anything, but the person getting it. some decisions are drastically hard/easy to make- doesn’t mean they’re not decisions.</p>
<p>In many ways, it doesn’t matter WHY a person cuts themselves. The person needs to learn a healthier way to deal with the stresses that is causing them to do it. And since they cannot change other people, they need to work on changing expectations and reactions.</p>
<p>My daughter was cutting herself when she was a freshman in high school. Fortunately one of her friends reported it to the guidance counselor, who then notified me. It was winter, so we did not notice the cuts. We were naive and didn’t notice the depth of her emotional pain. </p>
<p>The day after I found out, she and I left for an already scheduled mother-daughter trip. The long car ride gave us a chance to talk. Before we left, I scheduled a therapist appointment for her. She stayed in therapy for several months. Sometimes I was invited in at the end of the session, sometimes not. Again, I found a therapist 45 minutes away, which gave us a lot of car-time to talk if/when she chose.</p>
<p>That was about 9 years ago, and, fortunately, she has not cut herself since then. She still has depression from time to time and on meds for that, but is doing well. I think that when she graduates and gets away from her bipolar father she will thrive.</p>