I’m a little caught up in the wedding threads since we have one a month away…
So interesting to hear the gamut of what people feel is expected, should happen, is important, isn’t important, $ spent, $ not spend, etc.
Pretend you are planning a wedding for yourself over again. What would you do today differently than how ever many years ago??? Would you do everything the same ?
My wedding in 1981 was the product of H and I having no real concept of weddings and “choices”. We did the typical midwest bash middle of the road bash that our sibs did, that our parents directed us towards.
If I was planning a wedding today, I would have ONLY close family, very close friends. In a church. Small reception, a little music, good - very good food, a fabulous cake with leftovers. I’d plan a honeymoon that was a place I might not have the normal occasion to visit. And I’d save as much $$$ as possible to put into a nice house as early as possible. No open bar, maybe a little wine or champagne. If H and I don’t know them well, they are not coming! One or two people to stand with us. A pretty but simple wedding dress - NO penguin tuxes!!! A bit of casualness would be wonderful.
“very good food, a fabulous cake with leftovers. I’d plan a honeymoon that was a place I might not have the normal occasion to visit. And I’d save as much $$$ as possible to put into a nice house as early as possible. No open bar, maybe a little wine or champagne. If H and I don’t know them well, they are not coming! One or two people to stand with us. A pretty but simple wedding dress - NO penguin tuxes!!! A bit of casualness would be wonderful.”
Heh, you are almost describing my wedding last year! Except clearly the cake was too small, because we didn’t have a single slice left. Should’ve gone with a bigger cake. The lawyer in me should have clarified that a “floral arch” has flowers all the way over the top, not just a spray on one side of the arch, but it didn’t even occur to me that “floral arch” could be interpreted that way. Oh well, everyone thought it was pretty.
I would probably have the same wedding I had in 1988 - Parish church where I grew up, siblings as attendants, mom made our dresses, extended family invited, modest sit down dinner reception. One thing I would change would be not to get married on Labor Day weekend because we can NEVER go away for our anniversary. One thing I would change if I could would be to NOT get married in the pouring rain.
Exactly the same as the one I had. Small-ish, on a beach, super simple wedding. I wrote the wedding script using lines from our favorite movies and shows and kept it light hearted and fun.
I was barefoot in a simple dress. The women in the wedding were barefoot wearing the dresses of their choice and the men wearing khakis and simple button down shirts.
We danced on the beach, played giant jenga, and sang Disney songs at the top of our lungs.
It was perfect. People still tell me how much fun they had. We refused to take ourselves seriously and that made all the difference.
I know exactly where I would have my wedding reception if I ever were to get married again (unless my daughter has it there first, but it is probably too fancy for her taste).
Dinner for 50 in the Penthouse Suite at the Fairmont in San Francisco, with hors d’oeuvres inside in the jaw- droppingly gorgeous billiard room, library and other inside rooms and dinner outside on the spectacular terrace. I’ve been to parties there and it is the best place I know for a party.
Do a Google image search for Fairmont Penthouse Suite Billiard Room San Francisco to see what I mean!!! And also the library.
I had a big and very fancy black tie wedding. I hardly did any of the planning - my mom did most all of it. If I could do it over I would have a really small, yet still elegant affair and pocket all the rest of the money my parents would have spent. They actually offered that but at the time I wanted the big fancy wedding,
To be fair, it was a beautiful wedding and the reception was great, as was the food and the band. Even the centerpieces were magnificent. People still tell me to this day it was the nicest wedding they’ve ever been to.
I had the wedding of my dreams and would not change a thing. Only fifty people in a historic hotel and ball room dancing to a genuine big band from the 40’s, Every year on my anniversary I call my mom and dad to thank them.
We had a really good cake and an even better grooms cake. The pastry chef is no longer alive so I can’t do it again, just have to live with my tasty memories.
But I would improve the weather. It was forecast to be sunny and in the low 70’s which sounds much better than the cool drizzle that we had.
Still, we had about 75 people, a good mix from both families, friends from both sides (two of whom struck up a romance), lovely food, music and everything. I was even lucky enough to have a healthy grandfather attend. Can’t improve upon that!
I would be more specific with the flowers. No lilies please, they are too sweet for me.
City Hall. Two friends to act as witnesses. Then you go out for pizza.
This is the type of wedding my then-fiance and I wanted. We were talked out of it by our parents. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t have let myself be talked out of it.
“They actually offered that but at the time I wanted the big fancy wedding,”
LOL! My mother decidedly did NOT offer to give me the money for the wedding! She would have sadly attended lunch n the judge’s chambers, which was what I was planning on my own budget, if I had insisted on it. But she wouldn’t have given me the money she saved.
I didn’t have any philosophical opposition to throwing a party; I’m just cheap. So we had a lovely, relaxed brunch by the lake. I wore a white bridesmaid’s dress at BHLDN that was perfect for the occasion. (It was this, but with a satin sash instead of the sparkly belt, plus flowers in my hair:
I wanted to just go with H to Hawaii and get married. Just us, no one else. My mom threw a fit and I agreed to have a traditional wedding. HATED every minute of it. My parents paid for the reception, which was in a hall over a bowling alley. I was happy to have it in the afternoon so no band and dancing. I don’t like all the stuff associated with traditional weddings, yet my D is having just that in a few weeks. I am keeping my mouth shut and my checkbook open. It’s her party.
My nephew got married in a fancy Mayor’s office in the south of France where he was living at the time. Then a reception at a restaurant (which lasted ALL night). That was interesting.
DH and I had a nice agnostic wedding/reception with good food in a reception room with an awesome view. It was fun.
For our 25th wedding anniversary, I told DH to go to Las Vegas and be re-married by an Elvis impersonator, and he told me to make the plans. My first plan was to go and do a whole bunch of serial Elvis weddings, but when I started looking into it, it started to seem sad and pathetic (have you read those web sites?!), and so I just stuck with the fantasy of staying up all night going to a series of Elvis weddings. Instead we had a nice weekend in a luxury hotel (not in Las Vegas) while I recovered from surgery to remove the plate in my knee (that happened to be scheduled for our 25th wedding anniversary).
We’ve now been married 32 years, and every time we go to Las Vegas I still threaten to take us to an Elvis wedding and DH still smiles and says “sure.” One of these times I may take him up on it
My dream wedding would be a no-go for hubby. In my fantasy, there’d be a ton of dancing. DH doesn’t dance. I mean, he DOESN’T dance. He turns into the kid in The Exorcist at the very suggestion of dancing…
