If your car broke down, would you expect everyone to wait with you for 4 hours?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Situation:</p>

<p>Smith (wife, huisband, daughter and my daughter) and Jones (Husband and Wife) family spend a week on vacation in a mountain area for one week</p>

<p>when leaveing Jone’s car breaks down on side of road</p>

<p>Mr Jones calls Smith family to tel them</p>

<p>Smith family turns back to see if they can help Jones family.</p>

<p>Mrs smith decides that they are going to wait with Jones for tow truck. Tow truck takes 1 1/2 hours, so both families are waiting by side of road.</p>

<p>WHen tow truck comes, Mr and Mrs Jones both go in Smith car, so its very tight. Mrs. Smith doesn’t want Mr or Mrs Jones to have to ride in tow truck. Mr. Jones accepts offer to ride in car instead of tow truck and stay with his car. They drive slow to stay with tow truck and make it to City 1, taking an extra hour drive time. Mr. Jones didn’t say, Mrs. Jones, you go back with Smith family to home and I will stay with car and see you at home. Mrs Jones didn’t say that it was silly for both families to wait for tow truck and that her husband should stay with car.</p>

<p>City one is where ANOTHER tow truck will pick up car (the car brokedown 4 hours drive from home). There everyone waits another 1 1/2 hours for second tow truck, at the home of a friend, so people are indoors.</p>

<p>After that long wait, Mr and Mrs Jones, fianlly say, hey why don’t your guys jjust go on ahead of us, we will ride in the tow truck. Itanother 3 hours home at this point becuase traffic got bad at that time of evening. </p>

<p>Now, when I told my husband this story (oine of the girls was my daughter), my husband asked why Mr Jones didn’t just ride in the tow truck with the car and send everyone ahead to Home City. He wondered what man would be okay with everyone waiting with him, especially at City One.</p>

<p>So, what would you have done. Would you have ridden in tow truck and let everyone else get home, or would you have been okay with everyone staying with you and waiting almost 5 hours total, and not ridden in the tow truck?</p>

<p>My husband says that he can’t imagine having everyone else wait. He would have stayed with his car after his wife and kids had been picked up and just dealt with it. And would not have expected or accepted anyone to wait with him. He just couldn’t imagine having his wife, his kid, another husband and wife staying by side of road.</p>

<p>Am I wrong to be a bit irritated with Mr Jones? Cause I am. Maybe I am a bit sexist, but I think a man can wait with his car by himself at 10am in the morning and themnwait again insde the home of a friend and not accept the offer to not have to ride in the tow truck.</p>

<p>No male friend I know nor any of my female friend for that matter, would have expect everyone to wait and would have instead ridden in the tow truck, gasp, alone.</p>

<p>I know Mr Jones and lost a great deal of resepct for him today. My brother in law called him a wuss.</p>

2

<p>Some folks enjoy being together and really, if there is nothing on the agenda, do not mind waiting with friends in a situation like this. Sounds like the Smith and Jones folks might be pretty close. Also, perhaps no one expected the wait times to be so long – in hindsight, maybe all parties would have done things differently, had they known the waiting times would be as long as they were?</p>

3

<p>My husband probably would have wanted us to go ahead, but I would have wanted to stay with my husband to keep him company. We certainly would have asked our friend to go ahead, and would not have asked them to come back to wait with us. If they did, at most we would have asked our friends to take our kids (if we had kids with us) home with them so they wouldn’t have to wait with us.</p>

4

<p>mstee; having to parked cars by the side of the freeway is a fun way to hang out? </p>

<p>I have amazing friends and would just not let them wait with me. Neither wouldmy husband, You see the later you go, the longer the drive gets. A 4 hours drive can easily turn into a 7 hour drive.</p>

<p>And I just wonder about a man who knows that and doesn’t tell everyone else to go on ahead and not get got in a huge traffic jam, which is always the case.</p>

<p>And isn’t it dangerous to wait by the side of the freeway, just to keep an adult male company. And the wife would have been with her friends any way. ANd would have been home, well at this point six hours already.</p>

<p>I would have offered to stay, but no one I know would have accepted the offer, and would have felt terrible if they had kept people waiting around on a saturday, especailly after the first tow truck was an hour and a half late. </p>

<p>Maybe I am harsh, but I don’t have any respect for a man who needs to be kept company by another family while waiting fortwo tow trucks, and expect them to drive an extra 45 minutes to get to my friends house for the second tow truck. </p>

<p>I agree with my brother in law, mr jones was a wuss and pretty dang self centered and if he can’t handle riding in the front of a tow truck, that is someone that wouldnt be someone my husband would want to even be friends with. My husband would have sent me home. He wouldnt wanted me to have to wait nor would he have needed me to and would have preferred I went on ahead if I was able to.</p>

<p>And gosh, after 5 hours, mr and mrs jones, go oh gee, just go on ahead of us. So, clearly, they could have handled it all along by themselves. And I am sorry, who expects and even agrees to allowing another family to wait with you in by the side of the road? Its not like you can stand around outside and chat.</p>

5

<p>You didn’t mention freeway in first post – just sayin’ . . . waiting on a freeway would be a completely different scenario than waiting on the side of a remote road somewhere . . . safety then comes into play. Anyway, my advice to you is if it bothers you, then say something to the family that was taking care of your daughter, and then – let it go.</p>

6

<p>I definitely would have ridden in the tow truck and sent the others on. In fact, I’ve done that before. Given that, unless they really wanted to all be together and tolerate the delays, some of the other members of this group should have just spoken up themselves and made the suggestion - especially if they’re reasonably close friends. Also, these kinds of things can suck someone into it where you don’t expect it’ll be such a long delay but as the legs go by the delay keeps adding up. I suspect it wasn’t anticipated up front by Mr. Jones or any of the others present that it’d add so many hours of delay but it looks like eventually, perhaps after recognizing the delays were longer than expected, Mr. Jones did finally suggest the others go on ahead. </p>

<p>Given that the delay time was un-anticipated and that Mr. Jones eventually went ahead and made the suggestion for the others to just go on ahead, I wouldn’t be upset with him. It could be the benefit of ‘hindsight’ that’s coloring the picture negatively here but that’s not really fair when none of them could have predicted it. I’ll bet if this happens to Mr. Jones again he’ll just ride in the tow truck right away based on his lesson learned this time.</p>

7

<p>

Why not? </p>

<p>She can share some of the blame for the sharing the delay.</p>

8

<p>I was in a similar situation once but maybe slightly different. I was the adult Mom traveling with young son. We stayed overnight in a hotel with several families in anticipation of a sports meet the next day. The morning of the meet my car wouldn’t start. (On a Sunday morning at 8am). The other family staying at the hotel did not stay behind to help me in any way. While I didn’t expect them to they also didn’t offer to take my son to the meet. I was in a lousy area and even the hotel was on the sketchy side. Long story short I waited ten minutes tried again and thankfully my car started.
I personally thought the other family should have attempted to help me. Particularly since I was a woman by myself in a lousy neighborhood. Yeah maybe Mr. Jones was a wuss but what’s the harm in the Smith family being helpful. So it cost them a few hours time…</p>

9

<p>^^ I would have helped you. It doesn’t make sense that they’d just leave unless they didn’t realize you were having car problems. Maybe they were afraid your son would beat theirs in the competition.</p>

10

<p>It wqasn’t a few hours, it ended up being almost seven. And if you have two adult waiting in a house for a tow truck, why does the other family have to sit around and "keep you company’</p>

<p>See, going from lake tahoe to san francisco- basically, the later you leave,the longer it takes. Hit the road at ten am, takes 4 hours, hit the road at 2, can take 6-7 hours, and thats without waiting for some tow truck.</p>

<p>If this was my friend, and she was sitting around chatting and she had her husband, 2 teen girls and a potential 2-3 hour extra drive time, I would have immediately said go, get on the road. These people were not in danger, especially once they were insomeone’s home. </p>

<p>I guess what bothers me, was that my daughter was with them and her concern was with the other couple who were in no danger, were safe,and a tow truck would show up eventually. My D told me her husband was getting pizzed. </p>

<p>I would never have let my friends stay with me once I knew I was okay. I just felt my friend was more concerned about her friends who were safe and sound, then her diaughter, and my daughter, who had started on the road for a 4 hour trip, and didn’t get home for almost 9 hours, just so she could keep some people company, who didn’t just say, go home. </p>

<p>My husband is still irked, He just can’t believe a man just wouldn’t ride in the tow truck and send everyone else on their way.</p>

11

<p>And I guess I am having a hard time letting this go, becuase the mom had no concern for her own family and my daughter.</p>

<p>Her concern for Mr and Mrs Jones seemed a bit odd and showy, if that makes sense. I mean sitting in a house in Sacramento for almost an hour and a half for a tow truck so two adults won’t be stranded?</p>

12

<p>I’ll play Devil’s Advocate here and wonder what kind of jerk would leave a man down on his luck alone to wait for five hours. Now THAT would be rude.</p>

<p>Maybe this is the sort of situation in which some unwritten rule dictates that he should have at least offered them the opportunity to leave earlier on? Idk, all I know is that I wouldn’t have left him as long as I didn’t already have prior engagements planned that I would have missed otherwise.</p>

13

<p>I guess I would have been the mom offering to stay with everyone. If the garage is closed when they finally get there, the man (or couple) is stranded. If the tow truck doesn’t show, they’re stranded. If these are friends who are close enough to vacation with me, then no, I don’t leave them when the chips are down.</p>

14

<p>I think OP is more upset because it involved her daughter. It is a risk when you agree to have your kid go away with another family. The way they do things may not be the way you would do it. I don’t think your kid was in danger and she didn’t miss any important appointment.</p>

15

<p>ucla dad the thought occurred to me re: their kid and the competition. They absolutely knew I was having trouble with my car.
Agreed the OP was upset because of the inconvenience to her daughter. I understand Mr. Jones could have handled it himself but if I were the Smiths I still would have waited with him…</p>

16

<p>Well, this is the type of problem encountered when you let your child vacation with another family. I have no problems with that. I let my kids do the same. But, once one lets one’s child go with another family, the decisions made during the trip are those of the family she is with. And it is not entirely fair to play Monday morning quarterback.</p>

<p>In my family, if we were the Jones, we probably would have waved the Smith’s on, and not had them wait. At least not once the truck came. BUT IF WE WERE THE SMITH’s, we would have stayed with the Jones and not left them at any time until the Jones said they felt safe and comfortable and waved us on. So I think the Smiths did an admirable thing, and I don’t think they put your daughter in danger. I think the Smiths are the kind of family that I want to have my daughter with. So be careful about coming down hard on the Jones. The Smiths did a good thing, looking out for the Jones. And you were not there. The Smiths may have been INSISTENT that they stay until the time they did. I think that this situation is one where you were not there, you entrusted your kid to the Smiths, and they did what I would have done, and all that happened was your daughter was inconvenienced. But the Smiths taught her a good life’s lesson. Don’t turn it around on the Jones. Just my not so humble opionion.</p>

17

<p>It seems to me the Smiths did exactly what the Smiths wanted to do. They came back, they offered to stay and they didn’t want the Jones to ride in the tow truck. Why be upset with the Jones? Maybe they took the Smiths at their word that they wanted to be of assistance. If the Smiths really didn’t want to stay behind, then they shouldn’t gave offered. An offer of assistance in hopes of it being turned down is hardly an offer. If I were Mrs. Smith, I might have checked with my H to see if he would stay behind with Mr. J and I would take Mrs. J and the daughter, but if we were really close friends, I would have stayed behind too. I hope the Smiths aren’t complaining about what happened. I hate when people offer to be helpful and then complain it about it when the offer is accepted - as if people are mind readers.</p>

18

<p>If I were the Smiths I would have waited with them until the first tow truck arrived, and we all made it to the friend’s house in city 1. I would not have left a friend on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck that may or may not arrive. If I were the Joneses I would have graciously thanked them for the offer to wait for the first tow truck, but then would have insisted that once we arrived in city 1 to await tow truck 2 they go ahead with my spouse.</p>

19

<p>I like the scenario rrah laid out. Certainly, the Smiths should have waited with the Jones until the tow truck1 arrived. They had no way of knowing how long that would take or if the truck would arrive at all. Waiting with the Jones in the first city would depend on a number of factors (age and health of Jones, etc) that we are not privy to. Who knows………the Smiths may have done things differently if the OP’s daughter had not been there to keep their daughter company.</p>

20

<p>I’m finding the focus on the gender of the participants to be confusing, so I’ll skip that.</p>

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<p>Yes, it is and I would be very upset by that part. That adults would think this a good idea is baffling to me. Saftey should always be the priority. It would have been very easy to leave one adult with a cel phone with the car while everyone else went to the next exit to wait to make sure that the tow truck arrived. Beyond that, I have no opinion on anyone’s behavior.</p>