dating a woman, but has not told you even though she knows you will be supportive, what would you want for her to know?
…that I would be supportive, I suppose.
That she can tell me when she is ready?
That I hope her partner is kind, thoughtful, supportive, and makes her laugh. And that my D would be the same for her partner. And that I’d love to meet her partner, as I would with anyone of any gender that my kids date.
Nicely said, intparent.
I would want her to know that I love her and that I accept her choices. But I would hope by the time she’s old enough to date anyone, she would already know that about me.
Is she out or did you find this out in some other way?
I think this is the daughter posting?
There’s nothing to hide, sweetie! I love you precisely because of who you are! And I already know who you are, you silly goose! Now when I can meet this amazing lady with the fabulous taste? If you love her, I love her already.
…that I adore her for who she is, not what she is or who she is in a relationship with. As long as she feels cherished and loved by her partner I’m on board.
It kind of makes me feel sad that in 2016 this is “still” an issue.
Gosh, I have another daughter!!! 
Can we all go shopping for shoes?! Running, beach, spiky heels - I do not care!
Just tell her you love her, and express that all you want for her is to be happy and find someone to love and be with…after that, let her come to her own comfort level about telling you. There are a lot of reasons for this, she could be getting her ‘sea legs’ in accepting herself, and also kids know that parents who are otherwise supportive, when faced with the reality of it being their kids, can be less than supportive. If a parent is religious, among young people today, especially with the background of ‘bathroom laws’ and ‘religious liberty acts’ being proposed by the religious right, that can cause hesitation (it isn’t fair, for obvious reasons, but the haters and the loudmouths have once again made religion seem like just another form of bigotry and hate, instead of love IMO). Be yourself and show her unconditional love and support, and I would bet she would come around when she felt comfortable. Not to mention she may not want to mention it until it went beyond casual dating…
Assuming that the OP is the daughter in question … If you have been dating her for a long time and hiding it, I’d want you to apologize for not telling me sooner, because you should know that it wouldn’t matter to me. And then tell me all the wonderful things about her so I can love her, too!
I would want my D to know that even when you confirm for me - by telling me - that this is who you want to date, that I might need a little period of time to adjust to the confirmation - BUT that I love you SOO much and that never changes - but I might need a little time to process this new normal for you! So please be patient with me too.
I hope OP - whether you are a parent or a daughter - that you hear from some people who have have experienced this situation in real life - I mean no disrespect to others, but it is sometimes easy to say “no problem! I’ll love her too!” - and hopefully they DO!, but that in reality it might take a little time to place this in your real, actual life.
But if the parent is supportive, it will all fall into place. <3
“I’d want you to apologize for not telling me sooner”
I really, REALLY disagree with this. Life is hard enough as it is. Kids should come out when they are ready. No apologies necessary.
I didn’t see the line about apologizing, that is a no no. If anyone should apologize, it would be the parent IMO, saying “I apologize if I ever made it seem like I wouldn’t accept you because of who you were/were dating”. saying “I’d want you to apologize for not telling me sooner” is turning it into being about the parent being the victim, rather than this being about the child coming to terms about who they are and feeling unsure of the parent’s love, in a sense it is blaming the child, and quite frankly is manipulative, trying to make the kid feel guilty, and has no place in this, because this is about the child, not the parent.
I knew that the apology would be controversial, but I’d be hurt that my kids don’t know me well enough to think this would be an issue. They know it wouldn’t be an issue. I certainly understand that that might not be true in every family, but their lack of trust would sting. I’m answering truthfully for me.
OP is the assumption that the reason for not telling the parent is because it is a same-sex relationship? Or is it a FACT that this is the reason? I dated my (now) husband for months before mentioning it to my parents…because it wasn’t a serious relationship at the time and I didn’t think it was going anywhere and I didn’t see any reason to tell them or introduce him to my family.
If the parent has always been supportive and made it clear that there would be no issue with the daughter dating a woman, then maybe the only reason the daughter hasn’t mentioned it is that the relationship isn’t at the point where the daughter feels like she is ready to do so. No need for mom to push.
Having first hand experience with this , I can tell you that it can come as a shock, and waiting a long time to tell a parent ( this would be my ex-husband being left in the dark for a long time ) can cause some issues.
Even the most open and accepting parents can struggle with this news. That isn’t a lack of love or acceptance.
It is very easy to judge others , but until you are faced with it yourself , you have no idea the emotions it conjures up. I was lucky in having gay friends that shared their knowledge and experiences with coming out as well as PFLAG as a support network.
It is a process for all involved and I think being truthful and sharing is the best way to approach it. Whether this is a parent or child, I wish you the very best
Part of it depends, I think, on how private of a person the daughter is generally. I know that I didn’t hardly ever keep my parents informed about whether and who I was seeing at any given time, but one of my sisters kept our parents completely apprised of every twist and turn in her romantic life. I’d have to expect that if I (a male) were dating a man¹ and didn’t tell my parents for a while that that wouldn’t have mattered so much, since that was simply par for the course, but if my sister were dating a woman² and didn’t tell our parents right away, that they might well have felt a bit insulted.
¹ Which my parents would have quite emphatically not been okay with, but for the sake of argument we’ll pretend they would have been.
² See footnote 1.