If you're bored, please grade this essay

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<p>Cynics and optimists clash over the issue: is the word as we know it sinking into an abyss of despondency or are future prospects more auspicious? The answer is, in fact, the latter. History has illustrated itself to be a cycle of conflict and resolution from which man learns to better himself. Issues over race, gender, and other factors continue to plague our society, but arguably society has (and will) better itself. This phenomenom can be seen in both literature and history.</p>

<p>The epic poem The Iliad by the Greek bard Homer recounts the efforts of the Achaean people to retrieve the bride of King Menelaus from the Trojans. By the tale’s end, the city of Troy has been burned to the ground and the Trojan plains are littered with the bodies of brothers, husbands, and sons. The Trojan war was initiated when the treacherous Trojan Prince Paris betrayed Achaean hospitality and stole away an Achaean king’s wife. Having taking a vow to protect Menelaus’ marraige, the other Achaean kings sail for Troy. While neither the Achaeans nor Trojans were free of fault, the war reinforced Achaean solidarity and punished those who violated the sacred values of the time.</p>

<p>Our continuing hypothesis that the world is changing for the better can be exemplified in the novel The Awakening by Kate Chopin. The story’s protagonist, Edna, does not hew to the ideals of the mother woman of the Victorian era. Rather than simply submit to her husband and care for her children, Edna develops her manner of thinking and pursues her passions, most notably painting. Edna develops more fully as a person and feels and though she is no longer “chained” to social conventions. Eda’s suicide at the end of the novel represents a triump for women in an era when patriarchal values still. Gender inequality, while still an issue, continues to improve.</p>

<p>History itself demonstrates how the world is improving. The 1960’s and 1970’s were a time of tumult. Post WWII America was faced in an impasse with Russia, a deadly war, and rapidly deteriorating race relations. African Americans rose up and marched on Washington after a black woman was denied a seat on an Alabama bus. A civil rights leader was shot in cold blood outside his hotel room. In contrast to the evils of the period, racism and prejudice have declined notably. No longer do we see segregated schools, race riots, and the such. In 2008, the first black president was elected. Clearly America has come a long way.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by these examples of literature and history, the world continues to better itself. What are the implications of this statement? It is not to say that violence, prejudice, and other injustices have not ceased to exist. But history is a cycle of conflict and resolution from which man has come to better understand and respect his world, his brothers, and ultimately, himself.</p>

<p>Well, you have a few typos…</p>

<p>world instead of word</p>

<p>phenomenon not phenomenom. </p>

<p>Overall, I think the essay is pretty good. However, in your 2nd paragraph, you might want to show how the situation with Russia improved- you only really address African Americans.</p>

<p>I think you went into summary of the Iliad a little too much, other than that I think it’s a well written essay and would probably earn a 10-12.</p>

<p>outstanding essay, I normally don’t give out 12’s here on CC because I know they would not earn that on the real SAT. I would say this is a definite 10 but problably a 12. This is in the 10-12 range. I know that many on CC give to optimistic scores but this was really good.</p>

<p>Maybe one reader will rate as the previous comment and think that the summary was a bit too much but that’s a preference thing, hence the 10-12. Personally I would give you a 12.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>This essay is a 12… hands down. If I can be totally honest, test graders don’t give a s*** about minor typos and errors. They have way too many essays to read. The essay contains everything a SAT grader would look for. The length is good, the syntax is varied, and the diction is SAT-like. </p>

<p>@Jamesford:
I read one of your other essays too, and it was also superb. If I were you, I’d stop worrying about the essay portion. You have it nailed down. Your time would be better spend on other sections that need more work.</p>

<p>Although my opinions on this topic are quite different from yours, it’s a definite 12. You do a great job of avoiding the overly-sophisticated, pedantic tone that many writers mistakenly use on the essay.</p>

<p>Thanks to everyone who replied.</p>

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<p>I’ll probably do that.</p>

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<p>I don’t quite agree with what I said either, but it was easier just to agree with the prompt.</p>