<p>I’m wishing you an event-free surgery and a quick recovery.</p>
<p>I’ve read you many osts over the past years and your son is very lucky to have you. Hurry back to him! And to us!!!</p>
<p>Good luck and speedy recovery…I second the motion for your son to let us know how you are doing!!</p>
<p>Donna- I didn’t read the other thread, either, but I hope it all goes smoothly for you and that you recover quickly. If you can get online, let us know how you are doing. My thoughts are with you! Be tough.</p>
<p>I just saw this thread. Donna, best of luck. I’ll be thinking of you and sending healing vibes your way. Please let us know when you’re feeling better!</p>
<p>Donna–another avoider of the other thread here. Best of luck to you. Will beam healing thoughts your way.</p>
<p>Donna, you are so brave! I am such a medical chicken. Sending good thoughts your way.</p>
<p>Donna, all best wishes and prayers for a successful and uncomplicated surgery. We’ll miss you!</p>
<p>Take care, Donna.</p>
<p>I hope it all goes more smoothly than you thought possible. God Bless!</p>
<p>Hi Donna,
I hope the surgeon’s comments go something like this…“Ugh, how boring! Nothing unusual here.” 
Best wishes for a very speedy recovery! Hope to hear from you as soon as you are able.
Edit:I’m also interested to know what your son’s focus is at Chicago. My DS#1 is starting to T.A. there in the fall. You can PM if you’d like to keep that info private, of course.</p>
<p>Best wishes DonnaL for a speedy recovery. Glad to hear you decided to get the little Acer too!</p>
<p>Hey, thanks, again; I’m really very touched. Wow.</p>
<p>Yes, my son is a CC member, and I know he still reads the U. of Chicago threads sometimes, although I doubt he’s posted since his “chance me?” days! I will show him this thread and ask him to post something to let everyone know I"m OK – but he does tend to get a little absent-minded once in a while, so no guarantees!</p>
<p>I’m actually a little worried (face it, I’m a worrier, especially when it comes to my son) about how I’m going to let him know next Monday that I got through the surgery OK. I’m proceeding on the assumption that my cell phone will work from Canada without having to do anything special, but, judging from how I’ve felt in the past the first afternoon and evening after major surgery under general anesthesia, it’s entirely possible that I won’t feel well enough, mentally or physically, to make any phone calls. And this will be the first time I’ll have ever had surgery without anyone around, either family or friends, to let other people know what’s going on.</p>
<p>I certainly don’t expect any of the nurses there (some of whom, from what I’ve heard, don’t speak English all that well and can be a little surly if you’re not from Quebec!) to make calls for me. I’d really rather speak to my son myself, but I guess there may be no alternative to giving him the hospital phone number and telling him to call at some point and ask about me if he doesn’t hear from me. I hope that having to do that doesn’t make him too anxious and upset. I know he’s 19 and very adult in many ways. But in some ways, not so much.</p>
<p>Sorry; I tend to focus on relatively small worries in situations like this, to distract myself from more major ones! No, I’m not afraid of the surgery itself, or the pain afterwards. Whatever it’s like, it can’t possibly be as awful as what I"ve been through a number of times before, what with having Crohn’s Disease for more than 30 years, and all the intestinal surgeries I’ve had. Most recently in 2004, when, ironically enough, adhesions from the surgeries I had in 1983 and 1984 to remove my colon had built up enough over the years to cause a high-grade intestinal obstruction that lasted five days and withstood all attempts at medical treatment. Being admitted to Mt. Sinai through the emergency room on a Saturday afternoon, and being told by the surgeon at 6 am on Sunday that if I don’t agree to surgery and have surgery immediately, I <em>will</em> be dead (not “might” be dead!) in no more than 6 hours, and surgery is my only chance – now, <em>that</em> was scary! Not to mention the post-surgical infection 6 days later that caused the surgical incision to burst open (“Um, nurse? Excuse me? My stomach seems to have burst open, and there seems to be all sorts of blood pouring out of me onto the floor? Do you think you could take a look at it when you get a chance?”), and left a gaping hole in my stomach that took months to heal.</p>
<p>So, it isn’t going to be worse than that, I’m reasonably sure! (Although I admit that those events, although five years in the past, are still fresh enough in my mind that it’s hard not to think about them when I start approaching major surgery again, even though of a completely unrelated kind.) What I’m more worried about is the possible complications, and whether, given all sorts of physical issues I won’t go into, there’s enough for the surgeon to work with to get decent results. But I try to remind myself that however it ends up – even if I wake up and the surgeon tells me, “I’m very sorry, but it looks like you’ll be peeing out of your left ear from now on” – it’s going to be better than the way I am now. </p>
<p>For years, I was resigned (well, not really, but I tried to be), because of my health, to never being able to have this surgery. Once I finally got to the point a few years ago that things stabilized enough that it finally appeared to be possible, and I finally got over (pretty much) my generalized feelings that I don’t “deserve” this as much as other trans women (don’t ask me why I felt that way; it isn’t as if self-negative thoughts like that make sense!), I knew I had to try to do this, once my son finished high school. My social and hormonal transition both improved my life immeasurably, no doubt about that. But, still, I don’t want to live with my body this way forever. After all, when I first realized how I felt about all of this, Dwight D. Eisenhower was President, and there were still people alive who remembered the Civil War!</p>
<p>It’s been a long road. </p>
<p>Donna</p>
<p>Perhaps you already know this, but when I was at Chicago in the 70s, my favourite prof was Deirdre (previously Don) McCloskey. She went through what you are going through and has a website. deirdremccloskey.org As a prof, she was great - perhaps having a son at Chicago (she isn’t at Chicago any longer, however) might provide a connection and a resource you could draw on.</p>
<p>Maybe some folks with hospital savvy will chime in with actual knowledge…but how about calling the hospital now and asking if there’s a social worker or other individual who can be designated as the communication link between you and your son following the surgery? Seems like they’d have a system in place for such instances; and seems like compassion dictates that they figure out a way to help you if there isn’t a system in place. (I’m assuming you can get someone on the phone who speaks English.)</p>
<p>Best wishes to you, Donna. Good luck with the surgery itself and all the minor details, too. Good thoughts go with you.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you Donna - may all go according to plan and may you be back posting in no time!!!</p>
<p>I think nurses are pretty good about contacting relatives. When one of my kids had a procedure across the country, they called me immediately after (actually the doctor did) per our request. Montreal is different than other parts of Quebec – people there are mostly bilingual and someone there will speak good English. Maybe you could call now and work it out so that you have one less thing to be anxious about.</p>
<p>Thank you, I’ll try that. Every small worry I can take care of now helps!</p>
<p>Donna - no need to pack much in your suitcase. You’ll wear one outfit there and one outfit back, in between you’ll be wearing the hospital’s air conditioned gowns. If you have Verizon, maybe you want to add Canada calling as an option. Find out if the hospital has wifi, if not see if you could buy wireless internet connection through your cell phone provider.</p>
<p>I don’t know anything about the issues you brought up, but I wish you well in your surgery. Have a speedy safe recovery.</p>