Happy Birthday @saintfan!
I lurk on D’s snapchat story (she friended me, it’s cool). She posts little videos and pics most every day and I love seeing little snippets of her life.
I’m not technically an empty nester as my 21 year old S boomeranged and is living here at present. But it’s weird not to have all the things anymore, the volunteering, the athletic events, making lunches, etc. I am finding the anticipation may have been worse than the reality, though.
@OHMomof2, it is great to have a way to guage how things are going through whatever means that takes. I agree, the anticipation may have been worse than the reality. There have been some down moments, but most of the time it has been up.
Thanks! It’s been a good one so far . . . now if only my football team would kick it up a notch here. 
Happy belated bday @Saintfan.
Thanks! No luck with the football but I had a nice call today from kid #1 so I’ll take it.
“But it’s weird not to have all the things anymore, the volunteering, the athletic events, making lunches, etc”
- If you do not find new activities to fill this void, that would feel weird, I agree 100%. Just find something very time consuming that you would enjoy after work and exercise and you will feel fine again.
I don’t necessarily agree with the above post. You can fill your time, but still miss someone terribly. It’s certainly a good suggestion. As I recover from this tedious surgery I’m reflecting on eyemamom 2.0
How do I want to spend my time? I’m being encouraged to help with fundraising but I really don’t feel like that right now, it feels too much like work. I want to pursue a hobby like a knife skills class and cooking classes. When I think back to the various ways I’ve volunteered hands down my favorite was when I helped out the kindergarten teacher. I’d work individually with the kids, or help assess where they were, read to a group while the teacher worked with a small group, even helping prepare the materials was so nice.
As much as I hate recovering the slow down has given me the time to reflect on what comes next
I am actually OK. It’s been 3 weeks and this is starting to feel normal. I do work and exercise 
and have plenty to do in terms of a social life and hobbies. It is just “weird”. Not bad-weird, more like odd-weird.
Put the shoe on the other foot. If it was your child being sad, lonely and looking back on “when he/she was home” - what would you tell them to do to move forward??? Alrighty then! Works the same for parents!
I’m settling in to a new normal with time and activities. It’s nice not to have to run all over the place and to be able to plan my own weekend. What I miss still are the little daily tidbits of thought and feelings and jokes. Those are things that don’t necessarily translate into a phone call conversation. They are just the moment in life.
I did buy the Christmas break plane ticket, though.
Snapchat, Saintfan! It’s terrific for those daily tidbits!!
@eyeamom, funny enough once you are recovered you could go back and volunteer in Kindergarten somewhere.
@saintfan, thanks for reminding me that I have to do that, buy the Christmast break ticket that is. Haven’t started the countdown of days yet, still resisting that.
That weird feeling like I forgot something or something is missing is disapating as this does start to feel normal. I miss her like heck and can’t wait for our Skype texting sessions that happen most days–some very brief and others fairly long. None on Tuesday night though because of her late schedule that night. 
It helps so much that daughter is so happy at her school and she is feeling successful as she encounters these first few tests and does well on them. She is working hard and it feels like she really appreciates the opportunity that the scholarship she got has afforded her and us. We are so proud of her.
Tickets are all purchased. It’s about locking in a low fare when it appears. If your flight edges into the 18th or beyond prices go way up. Kid #1 couldn’t fly until the 17th but I was able to get kid #2 out of town on a much cheaper evening flight on the 16th. My experience with summer was that the airlines didn’t add flights and prices didn’t come down and I don’t want to mess with anything but non-stop getting home in December.
Got the ticket here too. While she is a seasoned traveler, it is the first time she will do the whole trip on her own from the US to our place in Asia. Hopefully the weather will cooperate.
When I emailed her the itinerary yesterday, I was not expecting it to trigger a weepy day for her. Husband and I were about to turn out the lights and go to sleep (our night, her morning) after texting very briefly with her before her morning shower when she made a video call on Skype after her shower, saying she needed to see our faces because she started crying in the shower for no specific reason and feeling homesick. She was still teary talking to us. I was anticipating that getting her flight plans would trigger excitement, but she said seeing that itinerary made her feel like December is still so many weeks away. In addition, one of her roommates comes from a town about 20 minutes away and her mother picked up a small group of friends, including my daughter, on Sunday afternoon and took them apple picking (a first for my daughter and she loved it). After apple picking, they stopped at her roommates house for a little while. My daughter said she felt REALLY envious that her roommates home and parents are so close. It was really hard for my husband and I to get to sleep after that.
I know she will get through this, and that homesickness will come and go, since like for us on this thread, our sadnss and missing our kids it isn’t something that just goes away never to return. All in all she is having an amazing time at school and seems to really take a bite our of the learning and the activities that she is already involved in. She just had a tough day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
My H is becoming my third child. I was dreaming of all the fun things I would do when the kids were gone, the lunches, the reading, the volunteering, the exercising and shopping at odd times, and now his needs are growing to fill my time.
I was very sad right before S2 left, then was okay once it happened. S2 looked so happy and is making lots of friends. He called once with worries, but it has evened out now. I know he still has concerns, but is managing them.
H on the other hand…I think he was gobsmacked with the loss.
So what are the things folks are doing to keep busy? I have full-time work, the gym, friends but trying to figure out what else I want to be doing. Volunteering at a school wouldn’t be feasible since i have a job, but want something hands on and haven’t found the right thing yet (do not want to fund raise or do paperwork). Other things I would like to do cost money, so would have to be limited to some extent (arts class, music, yoga). Even looking at fun weekend activities or going away, cost is always a consideration. Curious how others are moving on.
Still missing him, but definitely getting used to it. Talking to friends in the same boat helps, and he has been more communicative, which also helps a lot.
I just am not having any trouble “filling time” - I leave for work shortly before 7:30am and get home usually around 4pm. By the time I take the dog for a quick late afternoon walk and then an evening walk, make a little dinner, exercise (4-5 times a week), do a couple house tasks, garden a bit, maybe run an errand - I’m lucky if I sit down for an hour in the evening to just watch a little tv.
Weekends I go to the local farmer’s market, visit family an hour out of town, work on house projects, more exercise - maybe my needs are simple, but my time is easily filled! No evenings wondering what to do.
I’m like abasket…So far I haven’t really found myself with “nothing to do”. I work, then I come home and do whatever errands and chores I need to do as well as take a walk. That fills most evenings. I do find my H and I are going out to eat more (which is nice, but probably not a good idea for the wallet!) We are trying to make sure we “do stuff” and have fun. We’ve taken a couple of 1 night “mini” vacations, walks along the beach, dinner with friends and have made a “to do” list of stuff we want to do.
I have moments I feel a little melancholy because I miss the kids but overall I think I’m doing pretty well and I do enjoy this new “freedom”. It does help that my kids are pretty good about email, text and/or Skype. Not everyday, mind you, but enough to keep me happy. 
I have a list of “projects” I want to get done as well, but so far haven’t gotten them. My biggest “project” right now is planning a trip to see my D in Denmark!
(I do think I spend to much on this website, though! LOL!)